spouse issues - need help

[imhott]

11 minutes ago, Sucker said:

Kids meedha ishtam ledhu ante kashtam annai. Usual ga kids ayyaka love motham atu shift ayyi mogudu complaints chesthadu ikkada kids ledhu mogudu ledhu just career ante vaammo kashtame. 

exactly

[Naaperushiva]

30 minutes ago, imhott said:

Ive been stuggling a lot w/ spouse from sometime and seemingly at a dead end now.

We both work remotely full time and have 2 kids. they go to day care and school.

wife's top priority is her job and career. never cares about my, kids, or home. Only thing she does is cooks fresh food daily, which I truly appreciate btw. Rest all things I have to do, from getting kids ready to day care, their breakfast, dropping and picking from school, classes, feeding them dinner (incl. lunch on weekdays). Even in the class whatsapp group all are mom's of kids, I'm the only dad which is weird. She doesnt want to involve in any of kids things, doesnt know the name of kids day care or teachers, never asks them how their day was etc.

even kids got so used to me that they come to me if they are hungry, sleepy or even potty, even if their mom is next to them. Maybe they realized that she is not gonna help them in anyway. We cannot afford to hire a nanny due to our payscales. None of our family members can fly here due to health issues.

When I bring this topic to her, it always starts with an argument and ends with a fight. she never cares to listen and understand as most women do. I feel so overwhelmed with work, kids, house chores and so suffocated. I'm an introvert and have no good friend circle if I want to go out and spend time with them. I have very few good friends who are in other cities, i talk to them sometimes over call. our chex life is poor too. Given so much work at job, home and kids, I am not able to go out for sports or gym that I used to go few years back. I do 30-min workout at home 4-5 times a week which I enjoy.

these days I'm observing lot of mood swings in me, very happy for sometime and then suddenly very sad/angry for no reason. suddenly become so dull and outburst to tears even though I'm not thinking of anything. I should talk to a therapist maybe. This stress is going to kill me someday. getting lot of suicidal thoughts but then thinking of kids makes me not to take any drastic step. I went to my home in India sometime back, kadupu ninda trupti ga annam akkada tinna . she doesnt want to move to hyd for good also.

any help folks to how to manage myself? adagalante ne adola undi, never thought my life will be so much screwed up. is this normal at most households ?

First oka therapist ni choodu kaaka..then talk to ur wife about how ur feeling(about stress and unable to handle all by urself) if at all it ends up being an argument like you mentioned then better follow the above messages like hiring a nanny and ask her to bear 1/2 of the fees then obvsly she'll realize it if not tell her it isn't working and you guys need to see a  marriage counselor may be then she'll realize to which point it has reached to.

introvert antunnav gaa but anni neelo pettukoku try to express baa ledantey kastame..

[imhott]

1 minute ago, Naaperushiva said:

First oka therapist ni choodu kaaka..then talk to ur wife about how ur feeling(about stress and unable to handle all by urself) if at all it ends up being an argument like you mentioned then better follow the above messages like hiring a nanny and ask her to bear 1/2 of the fees then obvsly she'll realize it if not tell her it isn't working and you guys need to see a  marriage counselor may be then she'll realize to which point it has reached to.

introvert antunnav gaa but anni neelo pettukoku try to express baa ledantey kastame..

adhe cheyalemo,

I can see lot of changes with me, unable to handle this pressure anymore. neighbours or colleagues chuste bane unnade anukuntunnaru, but its killing me from inside.

[Sanjiv]

40 minutes ago, imhott said:

Ive been stuggling a lot w/ spouse from sometime and seemingly at a dead end now.

We both work remotely full time and have 2 kids. they go to day care and school.

wife's top priority is her job and career. never cares about my, kids, or home. Only thing she does is cooks fresh food daily, which I truly appreciate btw. Rest all things I have to do, from getting kids ready to day care, their breakfast, dropping and picking from school, classes, feeding them dinner (incl. lunch on weekdays). Even in the class whatsapp group all are mom's of kids, I'm the only dad which is weird. She doesnt want to involve in any of kids things, doesnt know the name of kids day care or teachers, never asks them how their day was etc.

even kids got so used to me that they come to me if they are hungry, sleepy or even potty, even if their mom is next to them. Maybe they realized that she is not gonna help them in anyway. We cannot afford to hire a nanny due to our payscales. None of our family members can fly here due to health issues.

When I bring this topic to her, it always starts with an argument and ends with a fight. she never cares to listen and understand as most women do. I feel so overwhelmed with work, kids, house chores and so suffocated. I'm an introvert and have no good friend circle if I want to go out and spend time with them. I have very few good friends who are in other cities, i talk to them sometimes over call. our chex life is poor too. Given so much work at job, home and kids, I am not able to go out for sports or gym that I used to go few years back. I do 30-min workout at home 4-5 times a week which I enjoy.

these days I'm observing lot of mood swings in me, very happy for sometime and then suddenly very sad/angry for no reason. suddenly become so dull and outburst to tears even though I'm not thinking of anything. I should talk to a therapist maybe. This stress is going to kill me someday. getting lot of suicidal thoughts but then thinking of kids makes me not to take any drastic step. I went to my home in India sometime back, kadupu ninda trupti ga annam akkada tinna . she doesnt want to move to hyd for good also.

any help folks to how to manage myself? adagalante ne adola undi, never thought my life will be so much screwed up. is this normal at most households ?

just tell her, at this rate, you will get batta potta very soon and she has to deal with your worn out looks on a daily basis! show her pictures of people with batta potta

[Galactus]

Bro, not trying to be rude but two paychecks kavali but wife has to do more ante ela? I think she feels she contributes fairly to household with her salary and cooking and wants you to shoulder other responsibilities. As long as she loves kids and spends time with them (not chores) you should be good.

 Also two paychecks ki nanny enduku hire chesukolevu? What’s the point of thinking about suicide when you can solve most of your issues with some domestic help or nanny

 shopping kuda use Instacart or something even if it’s a little expensive, oka 6 months ki neeku stress taggutundi

 you have so many ways to solve your problems but it looks like you decided that all of the problems are because of your wife and not willing to try out anything else

 have a honest conversation with your wife, explore options like hiring support etc that takes stress from both of you

[DallasKarreBaluGandu]

44 minutes ago, imhott said:

Ive been stuggling a lot w/ spouse from sometime and seemingly at a dead end now.

We both work remotely full time and have 2 kids. they go to day care and school.

wife's top priority is her job and career. never cares about my, kids, or home. Only thing she does is cooks fresh food daily, which I truly appreciate btw. Rest all things I have to do, from getting kids ready to day care, their breakfast, dropping and picking from school, classes, feeding them dinner (incl. lunch on weekdays). Even in the class whatsapp group all are mom's of kids, I'm the only dad which is weird. She doesnt want to involve in any of kids things, doesnt know the name of kids day care or teachers, never asks them how their day was etc.

even kids got so used to me that they come to me if they are hungry, sleepy or even potty, even if their mom is next to them. Maybe they realized that she is not gonna help them in anyway. We cannot afford to hire a nanny due to our payscales. None of our family members can fly here due to health issues.

When I bring this topic to her, it always starts with an argument and ends with a fight. she never cares to listen and understand as most women do. I feel so overwhelmed with work, kids, house chores and so suffocated. I'm an introvert and have no good friend circle if I want to go out and spend time with them. I have very few good friends who are in other cities, i talk to them sometimes over call. our chex life is poor too. Given so much work at job, home and kids, I am not able to go out for sports or gym that I used to go few years back. I do 30-min workout at home 4-5 times a week which I enjoy.

these days I'm observing lot of mood swings in me, very happy for sometime and then suddenly very sad/angry for no reason. suddenly become so dull and outburst to tears even though I'm not thinking of anything. I should talk to a therapist maybe. This stress is going to kill me someday. getting lot of suicidal thoughts but then thinking of kids makes me not to take any drastic step. I went to my home in India sometime back, kadupu ninda trupti ga annam akkada tinna . she doesnt want to move to hyd for good also.

any help folks to how to manage myself? adagalante ne adola undi, never thought my life will be so much screwed up. is this normal at most households ?

nuvvu pelli ainna modalltlo cheyalisina pani ippudu chesthe ellaa

pelllam ni beauty parlor and jobs pampina vallaku nee laga kastam tappadu

nannu em anakuu divorce ichiii 10gu anna keep ni maintain chesukoku appudu telustadhi nee pellaniki buddi

cc @DallasKarreBaluGadu 

[imhott]

2 minutes ago, Galactus said:

Bro, not trying to be rude but two paychecks kavali but wife has to do more ante ela? I think she feels she contributes fairly to household with her salary and cooking and wants you to shoulder other responsibilities. As long as she loves kids and spends time with them (not chores) you should be good.

 Also two paychecks ki nanny enduku hire chesukolevu? What’s the point of thinking about suicide when you can solve most of your issues with some domestic help or nanny

 shopping kuda use Instacart or something even if it’s a little expensive, oka 6 months ki neeku stress taggutundi

 you have so many ways to solve your problems but it looks like you decided that all of the problems are because of your wife and not willing to try out anything else

 have a honest conversation with your wife, explore options like hiring support etc that takes stress from both of you

when did I say I expect her to do more ani? minimal ga adagatam kuda tappena? what is wrong is expecting her to be invovled with kids more? school or classes lo em nerpistunnary, kids ela untunnaru ani teleedu, is that wrong on my part to expect her be more concerned about kids?

nanny ni hire cheskunte it will be burden on us financially, even in that matter, she only pays for a kid day care, rest mortgage, food, groceries, shopping, anni I have to shell out.

instacart already undi, but for indian groceries i need to step out.

[Vaaaampire]

17 minutes ago, imhott said:

I asked her to come to couples counselling, she is hell bent on avoiding stating. that is not needed we are all good

By any chance… did u try to convince ur wife for kids when she was not ready?

[DallasKarreBaluGandu]

Just now, Vaaaampire said:

By any chance… did u try to convince ur wife for kids when she was not ready?

andhrallla laga brathimiladam endiraa pellam ni

gattiga 10galli ledante divorce ichii 10galli cc @DallasKarreBaluGadu

[cameraman]

don't take divorce bro..

try to go counseling

[LadiesTailor]

54 minutes ago, imhott said:

Ive been stuggling a lot w/ spouse from sometime and seemingly at a dead end now.

We both work remotely full time and have 2 kids. they go to day care and school.

wife's top priority is her job and career. never cares about my, kids, or home. Only thing she does is cooks fresh food daily, which I truly appreciate btw. Rest all things I have to do, from getting kids ready to day care, their breakfast, dropping and picking from school, classes, feeding them dinner (incl. lunch on weekdays). Even in the class whatsapp group all are mom's of kids, I'm the only dad which is weird. She doesnt want to involve in any of kids things, doesnt know the name of kids day care or teachers, never asks them how their day was etc.

even kids got so used to me that they come to me if they are hungry, sleepy or even potty, even if their mom is next to them. Maybe they realized that she is not gonna help them in anyway. We cannot afford to hire a nanny due to our payscales. None of our family members can fly here due to health issues.

When I bring this topic to her, it always starts with an argument and ends with a fight. she never cares to listen and understand as most women do. I feel so overwhelmed with work, kids, house chores and so suffocated. I'm an introvert and have no good friend circle if I want to go out and spend time with them. I have very few good friends who are in other cities, i talk to them sometimes over call. our chex life is poor too. Given so much work at job, home and kids, I am not able to go out for sports or gym that I used to go few years back. I do 30-min workout at home 4-5 times a week which I enjoy.

these days I'm observing lot of mood swings in me, very happy for sometime and then suddenly very sad/angry for no reason. suddenly become so dull and outburst to tears even though I'm not thinking of anything. I should talk to a therapist maybe. This stress is going to kill me someday. getting lot of suicidal thoughts but then thinking of kids makes me not to take any drastic step. I went to my home in India sometime back, kadupu ninda trupti ga annam akkada tinna . she doesnt want to move to hyd for good also.

any help folks to how to manage myself? adagalante ne adola undi, never thought my life will be so much screwed up. is this normal at most households ?

You need a break baa… more or less same chitty story on every household…

take a vacation and go to boys trip and release all stress…. Come back with fresh mind and do the chores for next one year and again boys trip 😜😜

[hydusguy]

24 minutes ago, imhott said:

adhe cheyalemo,

I can see lot of changes with me, unable to handle this pressure anymore. neighbours or colleagues chuste bane unnade anukuntunnaru, but its killing me from inside.

just get a nanny..  taking care of kids drains lot of  energy mentally,  physically 

[imhott]

11 minutes ago, Vaaaampire said:

By any chance… did u try to convince ur wife for kids when she was not ready?

nope

[imhott]

2 minutes ago, hydusguy said:

just get a nanny..  taking care of kids drains lot of  energy mentally,  physically 

atleast part-time nanny unte better emo, will see the options

[Pandubabu]

1 hour ago, imhott said:

Ive been stuggling a lot w/ spouse from sometime and seemingly at a dead end now.

We both work remotely full time and have 2 kids. they go to day care and school.

wife's top priority is her job and career. never cares about my, kids, or home. Only thing she does is cooks fresh food daily, which I truly appreciate btw. Rest all things I have to do, from getting kids ready to day care, their breakfast, dropping and picking from school, classes, feeding them dinner (incl. lunch on weekdays). Even in the class whatsapp group all are mom's of kids, I'm the only dad which is weird. She doesnt want to involve in any of kids things, doesnt know the name of kids day care or teachers, never asks them how their day was etc.

even kids got so used to me that they come to me if they are hungry, sleepy or even potty, even if their mom is next to them. Maybe they realized that she is not gonna help them in anyway. We cannot afford to hire a nanny due to our payscales. None of our family members can fly here due to health issues.

When I bring this topic to her, it always starts with an argument and ends with a fight. she never cares to listen and understand as most women do. I feel so overwhelmed with work, kids, house chores and so suffocated. I'm an introvert and have no good friend circle if I want to go out and spend time with them. I have very few good friends who are in other cities, i talk to them sometimes over call. our chex life is poor too. Given so much work at job, home and kids, I am not able to go out for sports or gym that I used to go few years back. I do 30-min workout at home 4-5 times a week which I enjoy.

these days I'm observing lot of mood swings in me, very happy for sometime and then suddenly very sad/angry for no reason. suddenly become so dull and outburst to tears even though I'm not thinking of anything. I should talk to a therapist maybe. This stress is going to kill me someday. getting lot of suicidal thoughts but then thinking of kids makes me not to take any drastic step. I went to my home in India sometime back, kadupu ninda trupti ga annam akkada tinna . she doesnt want to move to hyd for good also.

any help folks to how to manage myself? adagalante ne adola undi, never thought my life will be so much screwed up. is this normal at most households ?

hope you are getting fussy atleast ( don't mean to offend ) , most of the time that could be the problem. also , Hire a nanny if it can help