Please advice my situation

[Vaaaampire]

If its ur fathers hard earned money, let it go.

if its thatha muthathala asthi, call ur dad & tell him you deserve equal share in the property. But br prepaid to be considered as villain. Since its ur sister & bil who are taking care parents in hour of need, i feel they should get more share than you. But who am i to decide. Its ur decision.

[abulu]

1 hour ago, vithanda_vadhi said:

In old age, they feel someone sitting next to them, taking care of them is more important then money. I know few cases where old parents give outsiders got more priority then their own kids. In your case at least it is not outsider. Your sister is getting that priority.

When they are young, I took care all of the money responsbillties and now when they become old they are thinking sis bava are not well settled then me and they stay next to them when needed is ridiculous logic. 

[abulu]

1 hour ago, Vaaaampire said:

If its ur fathers hard earned money, let it go.

if its thatha muthathala asthi, call ur dad & tell him you deserve equal share in the property. But br prepaid to be considered as villain. Since its ur sister & bil who are taking care parents in hour of need, i feel they should get more share than you. But who am i to decide. Its ur decision.

Its my father hard work but ..... feeling cheated. Since my parents use to tell me akka pelli ayyaka all belongs to you know ani. Ipudu feeling plate phirayincharu, 

[pakeer_saab]

11 hours ago, Joker_007 said:

Your sister is doing what a sibling is supposed to do. Take away the personal savings, Ancestral Properties, Isolating you from  Family and Friends (this will be done either by you wife or siblings) then finally your Parents. 

While I do not know how much damage has been done to you in here so analyze your self. it is most important to have people around who can support you, if you have lost every one over there ( I am guessing that you are already isolated from your relatives and friends) then be prepared to loose the parents property in this case only option is engage your In-Laws if you are married this is to ensure that you will not abused mentally by your sibling and your parents again. you wonder how this is going to help but trust me just do this.

it is quite natural at this age of your parents thinking that your Sister and Son In law may look after them at their old age as you are far away from them, There might be some trigger points for them where they might have thought it would be safe to have him and your sibling around them, this most common mindset of a Indian who is aged. He might be a good person at this moment but remember people change over the period of time. Or he might have already sketched for the property and just acting at this moment.

Even though it is painful to you at this moment, soon you will get over it trust me on that part. Tell your parents that the property should be written to them only after their death and stand on to this firmly. Also tell them that your sibling can not pledge this property to any one to any bank with out your notice and Everything will be given to them after their death only. 

Once the property is transferred on their name you are the one who is going to get a call day and night from your sister complaining that your parents were changed and are not doing this and that.

As you already fell into your sibling trap and started hating your parents , you will also start verbal abuse with them. Eventually you will be showed as monster in front of your relatives and Your friends. 

FYI.. This happened to my father , my friends and my relatives .. this is a standard problem across every Indian family where Son goes out of city for better living and parents are adamant not to leave their home town or visit his son's family.

well thought and explained.

humans act in emotions, emotions are more powerful for those close to them than those in distance

giving property after parents death is safest way to please parents at this time instead of antagonizing entire family and appear as selfish.

 

[pakeer_saab]

7 minutes ago, abulu said:

Its my father hard work but ..... feeling cheated. Since my parents use to tell me akka pelli ayyaka all belongs to you know ani. Ipudu feeling plate phirayincharu, 

There is nothing written on your name until your parents give it with wholehearted way

if you think what you did for them is your responsibility, the matter settles

if you are in US, you can make more money than what your parents can ever give to you. dont waste your energy at wrong place

 

 

[Vaaaampire]

15 minutes ago, abulu said:

Its my father hard work but ..... feeling cheated. Since my parents use to tell me akka pelli ayyaka all belongs to you know ani. Ipudu feeling plate phirayincharu, 

In that case there is nothing u can do legally.

okkasari call chesi matladu. Ila akka pelli appudu annaru kada ani. Also tell them ur not making a lot here. Convince ayyi emaina isthey ok. Lekhapothey light thisuko. Mee parents tho relationship maintain chesthav anedhi nee istam.  U need to understand ur parents point of view too. Valla last days lo pakkana undi choosukuney vallaki ekkuva preference istharu. Manam aa age ki vachaka manam kooda alaney chestham emo.

[Tyrannosauraus_Rex]

I used to send around Rs. 25,000 every month for a very long time - then I cut it down to Rs. 20,000 and that is the standard amount that I send my parents.

Problem enti antey - and - adhi maa parents thappu ani kaadu - they only ask or know about how much I make. They have zero idea or interest in knowing what are my expenses here.

I sometimes get a feeling that - basically entha kasta padithey aa Rs. 20,000 prathi nela pampagaluguthunnanu without fail ani parents ki purthiga artham kakapovacchu. In other words they take it for granted that I am able to send this money without fail every month.

Manamu perigina cultural atmosphere valla - I feel even guilty - eemaathram ikkada rayataaniki kuda.

But mana own future financial security kuda chusukovali.

 

Bottomline is the money that I sent or continue to send - I have written it off to doing my duty as a son. And I genuinely have no expectations as to what I might receive from my parents. I am prepared for any eventuality. 

And honestly it is not that my parents are sitting on a massive pile of money. So, I have reconciled myself to that fact.

 

All I can advise you brother is that - you are not at all wrong in securing your own financial future which includes your wife and kids. Mohamaatalaki pokunda be firm, fair and straightforward in whatever you want to say.

 

[vithanda_vadhi]

2 hours ago, abulu said:

When they are young, I took care all of the money responsbillties and now when they become old they are thinking sis bava are not well settled then me and they stay next to them when needed is ridiculous logic. 

How much money at stake in terms of your annual income?

[vkk]

OP, I know of multiple such stories in real life. To be honest there is not much you can do other than expressing your displeasure to your parents and that too within a limit. Just say you feel you deserve at least a share considering it is ancestral property. 

Think of it this way: as you are far away , you have someone in the same town to take care of your parents. So if your sister gets the property it is not that unfair anyways. Staying closeby and taking care of elders does amount to something. You contributing monetary wise and your sister side contributing by their presence and assistance towards your parents.

Going forward tone down sending money unless you feel is really needed. Relations once spoilt are difficult to repair. So don't take an aggressive approach on this issue.

[nuvvu_naakina_paalem]

20 hours ago, abulu said:

Spent all my earnings for my initial 5 years of career on sisters marriage.

I came us and working hard to susutain..and parents thinking I am well settled and want to write on property on sister and her husband Name despite giving dowry.

I told them that's not fair as thy told what ever left after sister marriage is me and my kids.

Advantage for sister and family is they stay In same town and take care every thing.. including bava who will take multiple leaves and take care like own parents when they sick taking hyd and all staying 10 days with LOP in job. And their son always stays home so my parents have got super bonding with them and on other hand loosing my family bonding with parents. Good one way but writing all property of them feeling sad.

I feel heavy heartened as feeling cheated by own parents and I stopped talking to them( that's killing me inside but want to show I am upset) surprisingly they Not even bothering..don't know how to carry for rest of life or leave and surrender?

If it's bellow 2cr 

Lite thesko, you will earn it in US and that money will not make any difference to your life, even if you get it

[enigmatic]

less than 10 cr light teesukondi

10-20 cr request 

25 cr or above shift to india 

 

[venky7]

Me dad earned property antunav my guess according to your details it would be less than 2c. Leave it man- my suggestion. 

second thing both you and your wife working and make peace with your mental state first. I saw other thread car pooling issue. 
 

intha age vachi, if you are seeking for solutions then posting your problems here make sense of receiving broader spectral ideas. Instead I only see your complaining nature of posts.

You are not just seeing broader picture just because you don’t want to see it. 

neeku ravalsindi elagaina vastadi. Be happy with what you are buddy. mental peace lekapothe you can’t even lift it properly. You know what I mean

[AndhraPickles]

Nuvvu dooram ga undatam...vaallu advantage teesukuntunnaaru bro.....inka time minchi poledu...u can bring in your parents here to US..so that the bond breaks with Son in law...