funny

September 16, 2009

Entry to heaven

There was an Englishman, an Indian and a Pakistani driving along, when they rolled the car and the three of them got killed. They went to Heaven and met St Peter at the Pearly Gates. They explained that they'd been killed and needed a place to stay.

St Peter replied, "I'd love to help you boys but we're full up after the holiday season. I'm afraid you'll have to go into Limbo till there's a vacancy."

The Englishman slipped St Pete £50 and asked if that'd make any difference.

St Peter said, "For that mate, you can go back to Earth."

By the time the Englishman got back, there were police everywhere and an ambulance. They all got a real shock when he sat up.

"What happened? You've been dead for half and hour," asked the ambulance driver.

He told them about St Peter and the £50, so the ambulance driver asked why the other two didn't come back.

"Well," says the Englishman, "the Indian is trying to bargain him down and the Pakistani reckons the government should pay for it!"

A man told his doctor

A man told his doctor he wasn't able to do all the things around the house like he used to.

When the examination was complete, he said "Now Doc, tell me in plain English what is wrong with me."

"Well in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy."

"Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."