Bad Places to Fart

[Julai]

Let's be perfectly clear on this:  just because we label something a bad place to fart doesn't mean we discourage you in any way from farting there as frequently as possible.

blow her away with your farting prowess.

1. In Santa's lap.

2. At the gym, in a row of treadmills (nobody can run away!)

3. During takeoff of a lunar space mission (you're stuck with these guys for months).

4. In American Apparel pants (so tight, the fart will get stuck like a bubble).

5. At a job interview (when they ask for your strongest skills).

4. At the Gyno.

5. On your grandmother's face.

6. On your grandmother's grave.

7. In a canoe with a rusty bottom (it's likely to sink).

8. While having s.e.x. with your dream girl for the first time.

9. While having s.e.x. with your dream girl for the last time.

10. When your wife asks you if she looks fat in her wedding dress.

11. When you have to take a .

12. In a rented car (if it's wet, they may charge you, as long as you leave as much fart in the car as when you picked it up).

13. While bending over to shake hands with an angry midget.

14. In a hot tub just after the jets power down.

15. When you girlfriend demands to know why you love her, but you just can't stop the bubbling in your ass.

16. In an elevator with Jerry Seinfeld (because he'll write a "dirty" routine about it).

17. While meeting your biological parents for the first time.

18. When you're a baby and your parents ask each other, "What's he going to do when he grows up?"

19. In the ball pit at McDonald's.

that's not where you breathe from.