Random Jokes/one-Liners..

[baa]

[quote name='summer27' timestamp='1336743645' post='1301775877']
[size=4][font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif][color=#000000]Q: Three words to ruin a man's ego...?[/color][/font][/size]
[size=4][font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif][color=#000000]A: "Is it in?" [/color][/font][/size]
[/quote]
[img]http://lh3.ggpht.com/_KVkPY2XIbRQ/TWAgXprYLuI/AAAAAAAABCo/VzL0ae41lc4/brahmilaugh.gif[/img]

[baa]

[quote name='summer27' timestamp='1336715445' post='1301774464']
Funny fact - [color=#333333][font=HelveticaNeue,]Having a eye contact for more than 6 seconds without looking away or blinking reveals a desire for either sex or murder.[/font][/color]
[/quote]
super

[summer27]

[color=#000000][size=4][font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif][b]Q. What is a zebra?
A. 26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.[/b][/font][/size][/color]

[baa]

[quote name='summer27' timestamp='1336727356' post='1301775151']
[color=#333333][font=HelveticaNeue,]The Judge asked the prostitute-So when did u realize that u were Raped?? Prostitute-When the cheque bounced!!![/font][/color]
[/quote]
[img]http://lh3.ggpht.com/_KVkPY2XIbRQ/TWAgXprYLuI/AAAAAAAABCo/VzL0ae41lc4/brahmilaugh.gif[/img]

[baa]

[quote name='summer27' timestamp='1336730417' post='1301775207']
[color=#333333][font=HelveticaNeue,]the best smell in the world is that of the woman you love =)[/font][/color]
[/quote]

[baa]

[quote name='summer27' timestamp='1336730493' post='1301775211']
[color=#333333][font=HelveticaNeue,]Man married a traffic officer.[/font][/color]
[color=#333333][font=HelveticaNeue,]Friend-How was ur 1st night? [/font][/color]
[color=#333333][font=HelveticaNeue,]Man-she took Rs100 from me for overspeed Rs200 for wrongside entry and Rs500 for no helmet![/font][/color]
[/quote]
[img]http://lh3.ggpht.com/_KVkPY2XIbRQ/TWAgXprYLuI/AAAAAAAABCo/VzL0ae41lc4/brahmilaugh.gif[/img]

[summer27]

[size=4][font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif][color=#000000]A guys walks into his house one night with a duck under his arm, his wife comes to the door to greet him and he says; [/color]

[color=#000000]"Honey, this is the pig I've been f*ucking."[/color]

[color=#000000]His wife says; [/color]

[color=#000000]"Uh, John, that isn't a pig."[/color]

[color=#000000]Husband replies;[/color]

[color=#000000]"I wasn't talking to you..."[/color][/font][/size]

[baa]

[quote name='summer27' timestamp='1336732204' post='1301775288']
[color=#333333][font=HelveticaNeue,]3-year-old Odiyam [/font][/color][color=#333333][font=HelveticaNeue,] examined his balls while taking his bath "Mom" he asked "Are these my brains?" "Not yet" She replied.[/font][/color]
[/quote]
[img]http://lh3.ggpht.com/_KVkPY2XIbRQ/TWAgXprYLuI/AAAAAAAABCo/VzL0ae41lc4/brahmilaugh.gif[/img]

[summer27]

Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mom.

[summer27]

[size=4][font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif][color=#000000]Two old people, a man and a woman, walk into a hospital. [/color]
[color=#000000]The doctor says to the old man, "I'll need a urine sample, a feces sample, and a semen sample." [/color]
[color=#000000]The old man says, "What? I can't hear" [/color]
[color=#000000]Old woman turns to the old man and says, "He needs a pair of your underwear!"[/color][/font][/size]

[summer27]

[size=4][font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif][color=#000000]Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed.[/color][/font][/size]
[size=4][font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif][color=#000000]In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" [/color][/font][/size]
[size=4][font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif][color=#000000]The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. [/color][/font][/size]
[size=4][font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif][color=#000000]Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!" [/color][/font][/size]

[summer27]

[size=4][font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif][color=#000000]A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, ", I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!" [/color][/font][/size]

[summer27]

[color=#000000][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[size=4][font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif]HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.[/font][/size][/font][/color][color=#000000][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[size=4][font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif]BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.[/font][/size][/font][/color][color=#000000][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[size=4][font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif]HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "F*UCK YOU"[/font][/size][/font][/color][color=#000000][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[size=4][font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif]COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer f*uck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.[/font][/size][/font][/color]

[summer27]

[color=#000000][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[size=4][font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif]A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this...[/font][/size][/font][/color][color=#000000][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[size=4][font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif]'Looking for man with these qualifications; won't beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.'

She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day. The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away."[/font][/size][/font][/color][color=#000000][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[size=4][font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif]So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?"

Bob replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?"[/font][/size][/font][/color]

[summer27]

[size=4][font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif][color=#000000]Husband says; "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me".[/color]
[color=#000000]Wife replied; "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"[/color][/font][/size]