Random Jokes/one-Liners..

[summer27]

Nice girls blush when they see sexy scenes in movies; naughty girls smile because they know they can do it better.

[summer27]

A man from Bangladesh named Futh was bragging that in his country there is 79 different ways to make mad passionate love.

A gent form Florida listened incredulously. "Why that's amazing. Where I come from there's only one way."

"Just one?", Futh asked. "And which way is that?"

"Well," the Florida gent began, "there's a man and there's a woman--"

"Praise Allah!!", exclaims Futh, "Number 80!"

[summer27]

A man took his wife to a Broadway show. During the first intermission he had to take a leak in the meanest way, so he hurried to find the bathrooms.

He searched in vain for the bathrooms, but he finally found a beautiful fountain with foliage, and nobody was watching, so he decided to take a leak right there.

When he finally got back into the auditorium, the second act had already begun. He searched in the dark until he found his wife. "Did I miss much of the second act?" he asked.

"Miss it?" she said, "You were in it!"

[summer27]

Three guys were having an argument about who was better endowed. Finally to settle tha matter they went up to the top of the Empire State Building and proceeded to unzip their flies.

"Pretty, good, huh?" said Mort , whose cock hung down all the way to the fifty-third floor.

"Hell, I can beat that", said Bill, whose cock was dangling past a window on the twenty-ninth floor.

They looked over at the third guy, who was looking over the edge, swaying back and forth, jumping from one foot to the other, and moving curiously about.

"What the hell are you doing, Thorn?", Bill asked.

"having fun dodging traffic with mine."

[summer27]

A woman posts an ad in the newspaper that looks like this... 'Looking for man with these qualifications; won't beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.'

She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day.

The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away."

So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?"

Bob replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?"

[khiraak]

[quote name='summer27' timestamp='1340281420' post='1302003500']
A woman posts an ad in the newspaper that looks like this... 'Looking for man with these qualifications; won't beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.'

She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day.

The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away."

So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?"

Bob replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?"
[/quote]
[img]http://www.bewarsetalk.net/discus/movieanimated3/bemmi.lol1.gif[/img][img]http://www.bewarsetalk.net/discus/movieanimated3/bemmi.lol1.gif[/img][img]http://www.bewarsetalk.net/discus/movieanimated3/bemmi.lol1.gif[/img][img]http://www.bewarsetalk.net/discus/movieanimated3/bemmi.lol1.gif[/img][img]http://www.bewarsetalk.net/discus/movieanimated3/bemmi.lol1.gif[/img][img]http://www.bewarsetalk.net/discus/movieanimated3/bemmi.lol1.gif[/img]

[massraja]

[quote name='summer27' timestamp='1335185940' post='1301674922']
[color=#333333][font=HelveticaNeue,]Rajnikant doesn't masturbate.. He just stares at his penis and says.. . TAMBI 'FIRE[/font][/color]
[/quote]


[img]http://i45.tinypic.com/210d74z.gif[/img]

[Gachibowli_Diwakar]

this is an epic post ..

[summer27]

A man came to work Monday with two black eyes. "Where did you get them black eyes?" a co-worker asked.

"In church," the man replied. "As we were standing," the man continued, "I noticed the dress of the woman in front of me was stuck up the crack of her ass. So, I pulled it out. She turned and belted me in the eye."

"Well, how did you get the second black eye?"

"Evidently, she didn't like me pulling her dress out of the crack of her ass, so I pushed it back."

[summer27]

A guy was getting really involved with his girlfriend, so he went to a tattoo parlor and got her name tattooed on his p*enis.

When his p*enis was at erect it said "Wendy", and when it was limp it says "Wy".

Well, one day he and "Wendy" went to this nude beach. They were walking along, and he saw a guy's p*enis that said "Wy".

He approached him and asked him if his girlfriend's name was "Wendy". He said "No, mine says 'Welcome to the beach and have a nice day.'"

[summer27]

A guy walks into the bar and orders 9 shots of tequila. So the bartender pours nine shots and the man downs one after the other.

"Holy sh*it!" the bartender exclaims "That the most tequila I've ever seen anyone drink that fast before - what's the occasion!?!"

"My first blow job" the man announces quite plainly

"Well" the bartender replies "let me buy you another!"

"Listen, if 9 doesn't take the taste out of my mouth, another one won't help

[summer27]

The two loaded gentlemen stood at the bar near closing time.

"I've an idea." said one, "lesh have one more drink and then go find us shum girls,"

"Naw," replied the other. "I've got more than I can handle at home."

"Great ! " replied the idea man, " then lesh have one more drink and go up to your place,"

[summer27]

One complained to the other, "Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to lose my f*cking ass!"

Too late -- he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language.

"That's okay," the blonde replied, "I have a very similar problem... If I don't sell more ass this month, I'm going to lose my f*cking car!"

[vuvuzela]

[summer27]

One day there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it and the other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the bush so long.

The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the steam.

All of a sudden the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away so he took off after his friend. Finally he caught up to him and asked why he ran away.

The boy said to his friend," My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard so I ran."