Random Jokes/one-Liners..

[summer27]

Three men were drinking at a bar -- a doctor, an attorney and a biker.

As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, "For her birthday I'm going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. This way if she doesn't like the fur coat she will still love me because she got a diamond ring."

As the attorney was drinking his martini he said, "For my wife's birthday I'm going to buy her a designer dress and a gold bracelet. This way if she doesn't like the dress she will still love me because she got the gold bracelet."

As the biker was drinking his shots of whiskey he said, "I'm going to buy my wife a T-shirt and a vibrator. This way if she doesn't like the T-shirt she can go f*uck herself!"

[summer27]

Sardarni after sex: kaha tha na, condom ki jagah rumal se mat karo. Ab andar reh gaya na.
Sardar: oye,positive thinking rakh, bacha pagdi pahen k niklega

[summer27]

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them.

Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"

[summer27]

If Madhubala was Replaced with Sunny leone in the film Mughal-e-Azam..., What would it be . . . ??? Muh-me-Orgasm

[summer27]

Dear young girls losing your virginity - If your age is on the clock, youre too young for the cock.

[summer27]

The only person a woman listens to- a photographer!

[summer27]

Even chemistry says, ALCOHOL is a solution

[summer27]

Teacher: What do u know about Sensex?
Pappu When we have sex with Riya Sen, Raima Sen, Rimi Sen, Konkana Sen & Sushmita Sen etc. it's called Sen Sex!

[summer27]

Todays generation:

Six year old boy to a four year old boy: Dude, I found a condom in the balcony.
Four year old boy: What’s a balcony ?

[summer27]

The young couple were holding hands in the Nudist camp.
Guy: When I tell you I love you why do you always lower your eyes?
Girl answered shyly: To see if it's true

[summer27]

How do you define a computer geek?

That's a guy who knows 2, 985 ways to have sex, but doesn't know any gals.

[Maximus]

[quote name='summer27' timestamp='1342508600' post='1302148918']
If Madhubala was Replaced with Sunny leone in the film Mughal-e-Azam..., What would it be . . . ??? Muh-me-Orgasm
[/quote]
[quote name='summer27' timestamp='1342508651' post='1302148919']
Dear young girls losing your virginity - If your age is on the clock, youre too young for the cock.
[/quote]
[quote name='summer27' timestamp='1342533709' post='1302149326']
Even chemistry says, ALCOHOL is a solution
[/quote]
[quote name='summer27' timestamp='1342534739' post='1302149403']
Teacher: What do u know about Sensex?
Pappu When we have sex with Riya Sen, Raima Sen, Rimi Sen, Konkana Sen & Sushmita Sen etc. it's called Sen Sex!
[/quote][img]http://www.bewarsetalk.net/discus/movieanimated3/bemmi.lol4.gif[/img]

[summer27]

Tom: Did you hear about the new documentary they are making about Madonna?

Jerry : What's it called?

Tom : Missionary Position Impossible.

[summer27]

Bob: "My doctor says if I don't give up sex, I'll be dead in a week."

Bill: "Why is that?"

Bob: "I've been screwing his wife.

[summer27]

In a party, a General proudly said that he did 10 times with his wife on his wedding night.

A Brigadier next to him said that he did it 6 times before going to sleep 1st night.

A Colonel claimed he did it 4 times on his first night.

General turned towards a young Lieutenant and asked how many times did he do on his wedding night..

Lieutenant replied: Only once sir.

General laughed loudly and asked: WHY??

Lieutenant replied: My wife wasn't used to it sir..!