Random Jokes/one-Liners..

[summer27]

Manny is almost 29 years old, his friends have already gotten married, and Manny just dates and dates.

Finally a friend asks him, "What's the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you that particular? Can't you find anyone who suits you?"

"No," Manny replies. "I meet many nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them. So I keep on looking!"

"Listen," his friend suggests, "Why don't you find a girl who's just like your dear ol' mom?"

Many weeks go by and again Manny and his friend get together. "So, Manny. Did you find the perfect girl yet? One that's just like your mother?"

Manny shrugs his shoulders, "Yes I found one just like mom. My mother loved her, they became fast friends."

"So, do I owe you a Mazel Tov? Are you and this girl engaged, yet?"

"I'm afraid not... My dad can't stand her!"

[summer27]

A guy was getting really involved with his girlfriend, so he went to a tattoo parlor and got her name tattooed on his penis.

When his penis was at erect it said "Wendy", and when it was limp it says "Wy".

Well, one day he and "Wendy" went to this nude beach. They were walking along, and he saw a guy's penis that said "Wy".

He approached him and asked him if his girlfriend's name was "Wendy". He said "No, mine says 'Welcome to the beach and have a nice day.'"

[khiraak]

[quote name='summer27' timestamp='1345212749' post='1302325579']
A guy was getting really involved with his girlfriend, so he went to a tattoo parlor and got her name tattooed on his penis.

When his penis was at erect it said "Wendy", and when it was limp it says "Wy".

Well, one day he and "Wendy" went to this nude beach. They were walking along, and he saw a guy's penis that said "Wy".

He approached him and asked him if his girlfriend's name was "Wendy". He said "No, mine says 'Welcome to the beach and have a nice day.'"
[/quote]

sshhoooooooo bigggg........ [img]http://www.gifsoup.com/view/301427/gay-omkar-clapping-o.gif[/img][img]http://www.gifsoup.com/view/301427/gay-omkar-clapping-o.gif[/img]

[Anta Assamey]

[img]http://www.desigifs.com/sites/default/files/bemmi.lol5_.gif?1290450399[/img]

[summer27]

Miss China wins Miss World. Dare anyone says now that Chinese maal hain, nahi chalegi...

[summer27]

Hey girls, two reasons why a guy doesn't text you back :- 1. He has a girlfriend. 2. You are his girlfriend.

[summer27]

The Difference Between Being Religious and Horny Is Knowing The Difference Between "I Am Doing Pooja" & "I Am Doing Pooja".

[ManOnFire]

[quote name='summer27' timestamp='1346245449' post='1302398882']
The Difference Between Being Religious and Horny Is Knowing The Difference Between "I Am Doing Pooja" & "I Am Doing Pooja".
[/quote]


[img]http://lh6.ggpht.com/-viy583ZsUhk/Ti7kEsLNl8I/AAAAAAAAQAY/Ia-bvDlq2Ck/s600/a07574cadc1f45edbeb99692dadd4730.gif[/img][img]http://lh6.ggpht.com/-viy583ZsUhk/Ti7kEsLNl8I/AAAAAAAAQAY/Ia-bvDlq2Ck/s600/a07574cadc1f45edbeb99692dadd4730.gif[/img][img]http://lh6.ggpht.com/-viy583ZsUhk/Ti7kEsLNl8I/AAAAAAAAQAY/Ia-bvDlq2Ck/s600/a07574cadc1f45edbeb99692dadd4730.gif[/img][img]http://lh6.ggpht.com/-viy583ZsUhk/Ti7kEsLNl8I/AAAAAAAAQAY/Ia-bvDlq2Ck/s600/a07574cadc1f45edbeb99692dadd4730.gif[/img]



Ultimatum of the day

[summer27]

ltt

[whosdadnolisten]

[size=6][color=#000000][font=tahoma]Q. Why is $ex like shaving?
A. Well, because no matter how well you do it today... tomorrow you'll have to do it again... :x[/font][/color][/size]

[summer27]

[color=#333333][font=Arial, sans-serif][background=rgb(245, 245, 245)]Sperm has 37.5MB ofDNA info in it.Tht means a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of1587 GB in abt 3secs & people think 3G is fast[/background][/font][/color]

[summer27]

Reality is an illusion caused by alcohol deficiency...

[ManOnFire]

[quote name='summer27' timestamp='1348324197' post='1302520993']
Reality is an illusion caused by alcohol deficiency...
[/quote]

[summer27]

Wear jeans every day and nobody cares. Wear a shirt twice in a row and you’re suddenly homeless in the eyes of everyone.

[summer27]

To avoid expensive weekend, just follow 1 rule, Sex in mind, solution in hand