Funny News....not Applicable For Everyone ;)

[katharnak]

An extremely intoxicated couple were arrested Sunday afternoon after having
sex on a southbound subway train. “At about 2:30 p.m., a couple was seen by
other passengers engaged in intercourse on the train,” said TTC spokesman Brad
Ross. Making no attempts to be discreet, the amorous couple soon prompted a
fellow passenger to press the subway’s yellow emergency strip, which brought the
train to a stop at Spadina Station. It took 14 minutes for police to arrive.

In the meantime, as trains all along the north end of the University line snarled to halt, the couple staggered onto the platform to continue. The final seconds of their romantic entanglement were captured in a cellphone video now posted online. The face of the woman is not shown, although the man, whose pants are around his ankles, appears to be in his 20s.
After arresting the couple and charging them with engaging in a lewd act, police brought them to a hospital because “they both appeared to be quite intoxicated,” said Mr. Ross.

[katharnak]

[b]man receives sexual acts from male pros thinking he was a female[/b]
this funny incident is some 4 months old and happened in california.
[img]http://pzy.be/i/1/prostitutiona.jpg[/img]
Bryan Oster, 36, and Misael Ruiz, 31, were jailed Tuesday after Oster hired a male prostitute believing that he was a female. The two men came to blows with weapons on Highway 101.

According to the Monterey County Sheriff's Office, Bryan Oster was prostitute shopping Tuesday night when he found Misael Ruiz, a male prostitute who was dressed and made-up like a woman.

Investigators say Oster offered to pay Ruiz $60 for sexual acts, thinking Ruiz was a female prostitute. Ruiz climbed into Oster's 1986 Nissan and performed the requested sex acts.

Police believe Ruiz attempted to take more money from Oster than the agreed upon $60. When Oster attempted to get his money back, a fist fight ensued...... That's when Oster learned that he had just received sexual acts from a male.

Oster then produced a stun gun and repeatedly used it on Ruiz in an attempt to get his money back. Ruiz grabbed a large rock and used it to fight back.

The brawl eventually spilled out onto Highway 101. Both men were still fighting when deputies arrived and took them into custody.

Oster and Ruiz were booked into the Monterey County Jail. Oster was charged with assault with a deadly weapon while Ruiz was charged with prostitution.

[katharnak]

[b]man leaves clothes behind and runs away after police raid brothel in china[/b]
another funny one. An unnamed China man made a hasty getaway this week when Chinese authorities raided an illegal brothel in the city of Changchung.

As police burst through the brothel's front door, the alleged customer left his clothes behind, ran across a rooftop, shimmied down a rusty pipe, and fled down the alleyway. A few women dressed only a towel were also seen following him across the rooftop.


People visiting brothels are willing to risk their life to escape police raids rather than face fines, two weeks in prison and having their identity published.

[katharnak]

[b]man jailed after calling police to complain about prostittute's bad service[/b]
[b]A BIG THANKS thanks to all of you who have been reading my posts.[/b]

one more funny post from Pennsylvania.
[img]http://pzy.be/i/1/jerrystreng.jpg[/img]

Jerry Eugene Streng, a 63-year-old man was jailed after he allegedly called 911 to complain after two hookers charged him for sex, but failed to include him in the act.


According to Pennsylvania state police, Streng hired two Berlin area hookers, Jacqueline Eubanks, 50, and Tonia Good, 34, for $400 under the agreement that he would be in the middle of the women as they all engaged in sexual activities at his residence.

The women got undressed, and began smoking Streng's marijuana, but when it came to sex, they seemed to be more interested in pleasing each other rather than Streng.



Investigators say Streng took off his clothes and got into bed with the women. However, instead of being in the middle of the women, he was relegated to a corner of the bed as the two women had sex with one another.



When the women were finished, they reportedly took Streng's money without giving him the "full service" he had paid for.

Streng called 911 to report what he referred to as a robbery. When officers arrived on the scene, they arrested Streng. Eubanks and Good were also apprehended.


A few hours later, Steng called 911 a second time when one of the prostitutes returned to his home to use the restroom. She and Streng were taken into custody.

Streng was booked into jail and charged with patronization of prostitution. Eubanks and Good were also booked into jail on prostitution charges.

[Chandrabhai5]

[quote name='katharnak' timestamp='1336357407' post='1301748484']
[b]man leaves clothes behind and runs away after police raid brothel in china[/b]
another funny one. An unnamed China man made a hasty getaway this week when Chinese authorities raided an illegal brothel in the city of Changchung.

As police burst through the brothel's front door, the alleged customer left his clothes behind, ran across a rooftop, shimmied down a rusty pipe, and fled down the alleyway. A few women dressed only a towel were also seen following him across the rooftop.


People visiting brothels are willing to risk their life to escape police raids rather than face fines, two weeks in prison and having their identity published.
[/quote]

Indulo vadu antakaantey emi chestadu. Police chetulo chikkitey inka live choopedataru tv channels aadini bithal meeda so running better


[img]http://lh6.ggpht.com/_KVkPY2XIbRQ/TW1-So96ZVI/AAAAAAAABOA/5K0OebWybkM/brahmi%20RT.gif[/img]

[katharnak]

[quote name='Chandrabhai5' timestamp='1336357674' post='1301748510']
Indulo vadu antakaantey emi chestadu. Police chetulo chikkitey inka live choopedataru tv channels aadini bithal meeda so running better


[img]http://lh6.ggpht.com/_KVkPY2XIbRQ/TW1-So96ZVI/AAAAAAAABOA/5K0OebWybkM/brahmi%20RT.gif[/img]
[/quote]


[url="http://pzy.be/v/1/nakedchina"]http://pzy.be/v/1/nakedchina[/url]

[mtkr]

[katharnak]

[b]Man Caught Having Sex With Donkey Claims Animal Was Actually Shape-Shifting Prostitut[/b]
A MAN caught having sex with a donkey told a court the beast was actually a prostitute who turned into an animal overnight. Zimbabwean Sunday Moyo, 28, was found by police officers performing a sex act on the donkey, who was lying on the ground tied to a tree, a court heard.

He was arrested in the township of Zvishavane and charged with bestiality, the New Zimbabwe newspaper reported. Admitting the crime, Moyo told the court: "Your worship, I only came to know that I was being intimate with a donkey when I got arrested.

"I had hired a prostitute and paid US$20 for the service at Down Town nightclub, and I don't know how she then became a donkey."

[katharnak]

[indent]A Texas man was behind bars Monday after breaking into a stranger's apartment and biting her neck, claiming he was a 500-year-old vampire who "needed to feed." Lyle Monroe Bensley, 19, is being held on a charge of burglary with intent to commit assault after the incident, which occurred early Saturday in Galveston, Texas, about 50 miles (80 km) southeast of Houston.[/indent][indent]Wearing only boxer shorts, Bensley forced his way into the apartment of a woman he did not know and made growling and hissing noises while biting and hitting his victim in her bed, officers told the Houston Chronicle. The woman managed to get away and call police, who found Bensley in the parking lot of the apartment complex.[/indent][indent]"He was begging us to restrain him because he didn't want to kill us," Galveston Officer Daniel Erickson told the Chronicle. "He said he needed to feed." Bensley also told police, "I'm a vampire and I've been alive for over 500 years," according to Erickson.[/indent]

[katharnak]

[url="http://www.dumbassdaily.com/2011/07/cops-arrest-middle-school-principal-for.html"][color="#2288bb"]Cops Arrest Middle School Principal For Masturbating in Public Park[/color][/url]

Avalon Middle School will be looking for a new principal after cops arrested Steven McHenry for allegedly masturbating while following an undercover police office in a public park.
[indent]According to an arrest report obtained by the News Journal on Sunday, detectives with the Pensacola Police Department Vice and Narcotics Unit arrested McHenry shortly before 8 p.m. Thursday while patrolling nature trails at Chimney Park, located on Scenic Highway near Langley Avenue in Pensacola.

McHenry, 39, was wearing a pair of “extremely tight spandex pants” and was observed rubbing himself through the pants “in a motion that simulated masturbation,” detectives said.

An undercover detective walked past McHenry multiple times, and after exchanging greetings, McHenry began following behind the plain-clothes detective.

The detective turned around and walked past McHenry again. At that time, McHenry stopped under some trees and began rubbing himself through his pants again in clear view of the detective.

“He then turned away from me as if he was looking around,” the detective said. “When he turned back toward me, he had his erect penis out, in his hand, and was slowly masturbating it. I then began to walk towards McHenry. The closer I got to him, the faster he masturbated.”

The officer then grabbed McHenry by the arm, identified himself as a police officer and escorted McHenry to a waiting squad car, according to the arrest report. [/indent]

[katharnak]

[b]Woman Tries to Sneak Boyfriend Out of Mexican Prison in Suitcase[/b]
[img]http://pzy.be/i/1/SuitcasePrisoner295.jpg[/img][indent]A spokesman for police in the Caribbean state of Quintana Roo said that staff at the prison in Chetumal noticed that the woman seemed nervous and was pulling a black, wheeled suitcase that looked bulky. According to Public Security Secretary Carlos Viviano Villa Castillo the woman had trouble pulling the suitcase.

"We immediately found out. It was a large suitcase with a thin person, 1.6 meters tall, curled up inside," Castillo said. Prison guards checked the bag of 19-year-old Maria del Mar Arjona and found inmate Juan Ramirez Tijerina curled up inside in the foetal position. [/indent]

[katharnak]

[b]Video surveillance catches man having sex with a horse[/b]
Cirilo Castillo, 41, of Edinburg, Texas was caught by video surveillance having sex with a horse, he has now been charged with having sex with horses on at least two different ranches. A horse owner, who had set up video surveillance, caught Castillo who was her neighbour breaking into her barn, tying her brown mare to a fence and tying her back legs together and having sex with her.
Cirilo Castillo is accused of two counts of cruelty to animals and two counts of criminal trespass and has bonds set at $60,000 by Justice of the Peace Charlie Espinoza. Investigators identified Castillo from the videos and he was arrested last Tuesday according to records.
Also another rancher in nearby Alberta had spoken to investigators too after catching Castillo with his mares on four occasions, allegedly, according to court records. The rancher claimed he had watched Castillo tying up the horses and having sex with them, he then identified Castillo from a photo line-up.
Castillo admitted to police during an interview that he had sex with his neighbour’s horse and also having sex with another horse at a different ranch.
Cirilo Castillo is accused of two counts of cruelty to animals and two counts of criminal trespass and has bonds set at $60,000 by Justice of the Peace Charlie Espinoza. Investigators identified Castillo from the videos and he was arrested last Tuesday according to records.
Also another rancher in nearby Alberta had spoken to investigators too after catching Castillo with his mares on four occasions, allegedly, according to court records. The rancher claimed he had watched Castillo tying up the horses and having sex with them, he then identified Castillo from a photo line-up.
Castillo admitted to police during an interview that he had sex with his neighbour’s horse and also having sex with another horse at a different ranch.

[katharnak]

[b]Drunk Teacher Fired From Job After Spraying Cops With Breast Milk From Her Right Boob[/b]
This true incident happened in july 2011. courtsey columbus dispatch
[img]http://pzy.be/i/1/stephanierobinette.jpg[/img]

When we first heard about this story we thought this lady had taken a bottle of already expressed breast milk and sprayed it on arresting officers. But no, she actually did it the old fashioned way, whipping out her right breast while locked in a car during a domestic dispute and spaying the cops with her own milk like it was mace, but more nutritious. The fact that Stephanie Robinette, 30, was also a teacher is just icing on the cake.[indent]The woman who sprayed Delaware County sheriff's deputies with breast milk while resisting arrest last weekend has been fired from her teaching job, according to documents obtained by The Dispatch today after a public-records request.[/indent][indent]Stephanie Robinette, 30, of Westerville, had been a teacher at Summit Academy on Columbus' East Side. A letter in her personal file dated Wednesday states that she was terminated "as a result of recent developments." The school informed the state board of education yesterday that she had been fired for engaging in "conduct unbecoming" the profession.[/indent][indent]She was arrested early Saturday morning at Bridgewater Banquet facility on Sawmill Parkway in Delaware County, after deputies arrived to break up a fight between Robinette and her husband.[/indent][indent][img]http://pzy.be/i/1/imagerobinettecourt.jpg[/img][/indent][indent]Witnesses and her husband told deputies that he and his wife, who was drunk, were arguing and she struck him multiple times, before locking herself in the car.[/indent][indent]Story continues below[/indent][indent]Advertisement[/indent][indent]According to the sheriff's office, Mrs. Robinette began yelling profanities when they approached the car and refused to get out. She then told them she is a breastfeeding mother, removed her right breast from her dress and began spraying deputies and the car with her breast milk.[/indent][indent]She pleaded not guilty on Monday to charges of domestic violence, assault, obstructing official business, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct, all misdemeanors, in Delaware County Municipal Court.[/indent]

[katharnak]

[b]Banana sex cult leader hunted by police in Papua New Guinea[/b]
[b]Police in Papua New Guinea police are hunting the leader of a sex cult who promised villagers a bumper banana harvest if they had sex in public.[/b]
The man and his followers fled naked into the wilderness when police tried to arrest them at the weekend, the [i]Post Courier[/i] newspaper reported.

It said the villagers in Morobe province, about 120 miles north of the capital Port Moresby, had been promised their banana harvest would increase 10-fold every time they had sex in public.

It said the cult leader was wanted for a range of alleged offences over the past four months, including threatening people and illegal sexual activity.

Inspector Adam Busil said officers had surrounded the man's hut early on Saturday but he refused to come out. The suspect then made a dash for freedom with about seven naked followers.

"He used his two wives as a human shield to avoid being shot at by the policemen," he said.

"They were called on to surrender but they refused."
He said extra officers were being called in to track down the members of the group.

[katharnak]

[b]Husband catches wife having sex in car with boyfriend at their son's funeral[/b]
news from africa

A Norton man has been left [b]traumatised after he stumbled upon his wife bonking with another man in a car, [/b]just two days after burying their son.
Mourners were left shell-shocked after Nelia Mhlanga (25) was found pants down with Jason Sibanda who is also married in the back seat of the car parked near Kudzanai Beerhall.
“What we witnessed here in Norton this morning is taboo,” said one of the mourners. “Imagine a woman who buried her child two days ago is already having sex with a married man before the relatives depart.
“Kusiya murume wake akarara nehanzvadzi yake iye kwava kunotora murume wemunhu; zvinonyadzisa,” said one of the mourners. (She left her husband and her brother who were both asleep in the house and proceeded to go out and have sex with a married man; it is shameful.) Nelia buried her child on Friday and relatives were still gathered at House No. K1219 Katanga where she sneaked and had a quality time with Jason over night.
Nelia told her husband Hardlife Manduka (30) that she was going to collect her mobile phone from a friend before spending the whole night with Jason.
Nelia confirmed that she had been having an affair with Jason.
“Yes I was found having sex with Jason this morning,” said Nelia. “We have been doing this since June in the car and in my house when my husband occasionally visits Botswana.
“I discovered later that Jason was married and we continued after his wife stumbled upon us twice in my bedroom as we had sex.”
“Hardlife has not been supporting me and the two kids financially. In fact my child died due to malnutrition. If he fails to forgive me I will go to South Africa to look for a job because all my relatives are against me after this,” said Nelia.
Jason fled the house leaving his car.
Jason’s wife Melissa Shoko (27) said that she discovered the affair after Jason left Nelia’s mobile phone in his pocket.
“He lied to me that he was arrested for public drinking last night and I quickly suspected that he was with Nelia,” said Melissa.
“I found him twice on Nelia’s bed. I knew that he was lying to me this time around. At one time I called his sister named Charity and we found them naked in Nelia’s bedroom some time in June when my child was just three-months-old.”
Hardlife said that he was lucky to discover this while Nelia’s parents were there and he will leave everything to them to decide the way forward.
Hardlife felt pained as he was still mourning his one-year-old child who passed away last week. “I am still mourning my child and this pains me very much,” said Hardlife. “I did not look for her after she told me that she was going to collect her phone from a friend. Little did I know that it was a boyfriend she was with before I was called by my friends at around 6am to find them busy in that dirty old car!”
“I am lucky that her relatives are here including her brother who disciplined her with a whip. They will talk to me and help me find a way forward. As of me; I love my wife and I did not expect this from her,” said Hardlife.
“Ndabatwa sha chihure chaicho handichazvipamhidza zvakare,” said Jason. “It is my third time being found having sex with that woman and I feel ashamed of that now. As we speak my wife is very cross about it and I love my wife I will never bonk that woman again, it is over.”