Some jokes- ppl after drinking

[master123]

A drunk`s logic!

A drunk, after having had one too many, called up the bartender and asked him the distance between Dalhousie Square and Ballygunge in Calcutta.

The bartender in all honesty answered, "Why Sir, it is 15 kilometers."

The drunk then asked him the distance between Ballygunge and Dalhousie Square, which again the bartender answered as 15 kilometers.

Whereupon the drunk accused the bartender of being heavy on the booze, asking how his answers could be correct as Monday to Friday and Friday to Monday could not be the same distance.

Dead drunk!

A man leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away. 200 yards further he’s stopped by a police officer.

Officer: "Good evening sir. We’re testing drivers for drunken driving. Would you please blow into this machine?"

Man: "I`m , I can’t do that. I have asthma. If I blow on that machine I will get out of air".

Officer: "Please come along to the office and we can give you a blood test".

Man: "I can’t do that. I have anemia and if you stick a needle in me I will bleed to death".

Officer: "Then you’ll have to get out and walk 5 yards along this white line".

Man: "Can’t do that either".

?Officer: "Why not?"

Man: "Because I’m dead drunk".

Man in a Bar !!!

A man goes into a bar and tells the bartender to give him a double. Then he slams it down and takes a picture out of his pocket, looks at it for a moment, then puts it back. He then asks the bartender for another double. He drinks it, looks at the picture, puts it back, and asks for another drink.

This time, the bartender is overcome by curiosity. "What`s that a picture of?" the bartender asks.

"It`s a picture of my wife," the man slurs, "and when she finally starts looking good I`ll go home!