mrindia Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 I had a blind date last night. But I was concerned -- What do I do if she's really unattractive? I'll be stuck with her all night. Turns out, There's an app for that. It's called "Mom Are You Ok". It schedules your phone to ring just after you meet her. If you like her, you ignore it. If you want to cut short the date, you answer with, "Mom? What's the matter? Are you okay?" It works every time. So I knocked on the girl's door. Turns out I needn't have worried. She was gorgeous! I couldn't get over how attractive she was!! Just as I was about to speak to her, her phone rang!!! She answered it and said, "Mom, what's the matter? Are you okay?" !!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ And the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!” ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "A" Certificate Joke A girl climbed a tree behind the church to pick fruits. While picking her fruits high above the tree a priest happens to walk by and sees the girl up above him and realized that the girl was not wearing any underwear. . He calls the girl down and tells her that it's dangerous to climb tress and gives her $20 to buy a pair of underwear to cover herself up. The girl went home and informed her mother how she got the $20. The next day, the mother went to the back of the church without an underwear and climbed the tree and waited for the priest to show up. The priest walks by and sees the mother in all her glory ... calls her down, and tells her that it's dangerous to climb trees and gives her $3. The mother then asked the priest why is only getting $3? The priest replied that's for you to by a disposable razor ... Go easy my first post. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "A" Certificate Joke A lady was laying on the doctor's table, waiting for her annual pap test. The doctor came in, and as he was preparing himself, she mentioned that she had 6 kids. He said, "Yeah, I can tell... you have the biggest box I have ever seen!" She was offended as hell, and after she got home, she went into the bathroom, took the mirror off the wall, and laid it on the floor so she could have a look for herself. As she squatted over the mirror, her husband walked in and saw her. When he asked her what she was doing, she said, "I am doing my exercises." He responds with concern, "Well, be careful. You're about to fall into that huge hole in the floor!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrindia Posted June 21, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 3 hours ago, mrindia said: I had a blind date last night. But I was concerned -- What do I do if she's really unattractive? I'll be stuck with her all night. Turns out, There's an app for that. It's called "Mom Are You Ok". It schedules your phone to ring just after you meet her. If you like her, you ignore it. If you want to cut short the date, you answer with, "Mom? What's the matter? Are you okay?" It works every time. So I knocked on the girl's door. Turns out I needn't have worried. She was gorgeous! I couldn't get over how attractive she was!! Just as I was about to speak to her, her phone rang!!! She answered it and said, "Mom, what's the matter? Are you okay?" !!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ And the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!” ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "A" Certificate Joke A girl climbed a tree behind the church to pick fruits. While picking her fruits high above the tree a priest happens to walk by and sees the girl up above him and realized that the girl was not wearing any underwear. . He calls the girl down and tells her that it's dangerous to climb tress and gives her $20 to buy a pair of underwear to cover herself up. The girl went home and informed her mother how she got the $20. The next day, the mother went to the back of the church without an underwear and climbed the tree and waited for the priest to show up. The priest walks by and sees the mother in all her glory ... calls her down, and tells her that it's dangerous to climb trees and gives her $3. The mother then asked the priest why is only getting $3? The priest replied that's for you to by a disposable razor ... Go easy my first post. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "A" Certificate Joke A lady was laying on the doctor's table, waiting for her annual pap test. The doctor came in, and as he was preparing himself, she mentioned that she had 6 kids. He said, "Yeah, I can tell... you have the biggest box I have ever seen!" She was offended as hell, and after she got home, she went into the bathroom, took the mirror off the wall, and laid it on the floor so she could have a look for herself. As she squatted over the mirror, her husband walked in and saw her. When he asked her what she was doing, she said, "I am doing my exercises." He responds with concern, "Well, be careful. You're about to fall into that huge hole in the floor!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryadaramanna Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tom bhayya Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chakram12 Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 51 minutes ago, tom bhayya said: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tom bhayya Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 6 minutes ago, Chakram12 said: elcome back baa, enti sangathulu? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butterthief Posted June 21, 2016 Report Share Posted June 21, 2016 1 hour ago, mrindia said: kottavi veyyi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrindia Posted June 22, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 22, 2016 18 hours ago, Butterthief said: kottavi veyyi Andariki kothaga anipichey jokes antu vundavu brother...edo okati evariko okariki telisi vuntadhi adhi patha joke ani pistadhi.... First time valaki time pass second time valaki time waste.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BARFl Posted June 22, 2016 Report Share Posted June 22, 2016 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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