Estory -1 : Uncle Thedgadu emo ani Aunty ki doubt .. niijamena :o

August 26, 2016

Where should I start !
Love marriage. Before marriage knew each other for 5 to 6 years. Before marriage, DH never touched me. He never tried to even hold my hand. He treated me as if I am his little sister.
We got married and I expected his behaviour to change but he did not. There were fights and no intimacy. I thought fights was causing lack of intimacy and put efforts to not fight but there was no intimacy. I realised he is facing impotency. Family pressure for baby. We had a baby after couple of yrs of marriage. Just for baby making sake we came closer with little help from doctor,Viagra. After I conceived, back to no intimacy or even slightest of touching.
I had even separated from my DH along with my baby for almost a year and was about to file a divorce not just because of his impotency or no touch, etc. but because of my DH and MILs bad attitude. They behaved very badly with me and my family. My DH had absolutely no guilt for making me go through all this in our relationship and when MIL made a huge drama one day, I told her about my DHs problem (this was 5 yrs after marraige). She replied to me "don't think you are doing a big thing by living with an impotent husband. Girls do that and it is no big deal." I cried a lot and when I saw my DH supporting his mother, I decided to separate.
DH pleaded and my insecurities about how to raise a girl in India by a single mother, if I marry next time - will the 2nd husand treat my baby nicely? ,etc. made me accept my DHs request to come back. He promised me that he will work on his intimacy issue.
I am living with him for more than a year now. There is no change in his physical relationship with me. He does not touch me AT ALL. Never even holds my hand even when he is in a good mood. I avoid fights and if there is a slightest clue that certain topic may lead to fight ,I give my best to avoid because I want to give a good environment to my baby. My DH is a good dad. Infact THE BEST DAD. He loves our baby a lot.
I asked him when he was cool, about his lack of intimacy (in a soft understanding voice). He looked here n there and said He does not know the reason. I said "please let me know if you have any other sexual preferences and I will still adjust but you owe me the reason behind lack of intimacy." He did not look into my eyes and said "No. I am not aware of any reason that I need to hide it from you."

How will I know the reason behind the problem? I just suspect that he is in closet and will never ever come out.

I have never observed him watching ****. He watched movies late night after I go to bed but I dont know if he watches **** and clears browsing history or uses incognito mode.

His mannerism is mostly manly.
He LOVES shopping but that does not make him gay.

He observes women or men, I really don't know.
Even if he does, he is way too smarter than me to make sure I don't notice.

I just have no proof to say he is gay but I suspect him to be gay or asexual.

What should I do next ?