IL lo oka aunty post. Looks similar to post here

[kranthi111983]

IL lo oka aunty thana baadha panchukundhi. Similar story mana AFDB lo but from husbands point padindhi. Aa bhayya ikkada unte read this thread and understand her problem

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I have been married for 5 years(ARRANGED Marriage) and currently living outside of India. Before I tell my story, I would like to give a brief descripion of my husband's upbringing/past so that it would give you an insight on the reason and help me take a due course in my life.

My husband was brought up in a strict and orthodox family. My inlaws are decent people from middle class background who worked and sacrified a lot for their children. My husband right from childhood was a hardworking student and he is one of those kids who every parent dreams off and one who checks off on all the standards that indian parents look for. Ideal student, no bad friends/ no bad habits, no girl friends, always a topper, top university etc etc. He later moved overseas and started making good money. He too sacrificed a lot & built a big home for his parents & provided all luxuries like car etc for his parents. He lived for many years in US without Car, not spending on travelling, no expensive clothes, no personal comforts as he wanted to give his parents & family what he dreamed of. This I can tell based on what I heard from his relatives & my own interaction with him. He was kind of what his relatives wanted their kids to be like. We both are from same town and everyone said I was lucky to get him.

Coming to our marriage life, it was a very happy life for me right from engagemnet to marriage and first couple of months into marriage. He was a caring, loving & responsible husband. Everthing was just perfect. In short it was like living in a dream. Then everything came tumbling down and all because of my 'past'.

I was in a relationship with a guy from my college and it continued for a long time right until the point my marriage was fixed. We tried our best to get married but could not proceed due to parents opposition due to caste differeneces etc. My husband came to know about it and was upset. He questioned me & I accepted. During that conversation, I told him it's past and said that I was virgin and that I never did anything other than holding hands with my ex. But the truth was we did have physical relationship and I was still in touch with my ex(Just emails. No calls or chats. My ex was very depressed and I was just giving a shoulder to him to cry and giving him emotional support) But couple of weeks later, my husband foudn out the truth that we had physical relationship and was still in contact with him over emails. I used to maintain a separate email account to communicate with my ex. My husband was able to find out about it and had proof of everything like our physical relationship etc from that account. He was very depressed. He cried a lot but did not shout or hit me. He also found that I had one more BF in my school days. Eventually he got out of it or that's what I thought but that was not the case. He read all our emails after marriage, intimate chats before marriage, our intimate pics etc and was not able to forget them. He kept to himself. Later I found that he confided this whole thing to his trusted close person(not his parents) but that person just like everyone told him to keep this to himslef, that its's normal now-a-days and how past does not matter & only thing that matters is how I'm behaving with him now. I think this diturbed him more saying that even his side people are taking my side and not sympathetic towards him. We have been leading a normal life where we have happy days and not so happy days. Whenever something triggers him, he turns into this nasty person who talks sarcastically about my past and keeps bringing my past in a indirect way. But below behaviour is what is bothering me:

1. He has taken to smoking/drinking a lot. When I begged him to stop, he says "Now-a-days, this is normal etc etc"
2. Goes to late night parties with is guy frends on a regular basis. He replaced his Regular car with a very expensive Car. Spends too much on expensive clothes, $5000 watch, expensive vacations etc. In short he turned from a pauper guy who used to spend more on families comforts/luxuries to a a person who self indulges. Before all this happened, he had $100K in savings and was thinking of buying a house but he now, he has nothing as he spent everything on these unnecessary things. He had a plan for everything but now he does not think about future at all like house, kids etc.
3. He changed his tone on kids too. Initially we agreed on 2 kids. But now, he says 1 kid but that he has been delaying. We have been married for 5 years. I'm nearing my 30's but he says he is still not ready and wants 3-4 years. If I argue, he says "Now-a-days, this is normal to have 1 kid, have kids late or no kids at all". He sometimes says he does not want kids.
4. Though I'm a house wife, he used to help me with chores like cooking, cleaning dishes, vacumming, laundary etc. But now, he does not even put his coffee cup in sink. Though I can manage but I'm worried about his behaviour and wonder he will ever forget my past and come out of his bad feelings.

I even lost my parents trust & their support. I once bursted out to my parents after a fight I had with my husband and told them he came to know about my past and his change in his behaviour. I should not have done that. My father and my close uncle called and apologized to him and tried to reason with him and during their converstaion they sais something like 'This is common now-a-days but I know my daughter. She will never cross limits etc'. My husband then bursted out about my physical relationship and told them about my mis-adventures and how I was in contact even after marriage. My parents were shocked and now blame me for everything and say that they are ashamed of me. They simply say "You have brought upon your own problems. You deal with it".

Now, with no moral & emotional support, I dnot know what I have to do. Is there any chance of normal life with my husband. I still feel that depe inside of him, there is still that kind person and I just have to wait for him to get out of his depression. I suggested counselling/therapy but he says nothing is wrong with him and does not want to go. It has been more than 4 years that he came to know about my past and he still is stuck in that. May be my intimate pics, chats with my ex has dealt a blow to him. What should I do ?

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[Bhai]

Agreed 

[telugu_bidda]

clearly gals mistake...paina story lo after mrg kuda vaditho chatting, emails ani chesindi kada avi vulgar ga vundi vuntayi andukey disturb ayyadu 

[BommaliNinnodhala]

pelli ayinaka endku vaa past love contacts.....men/women should stay away from past kaaadal/s after marriage......so stupid...dhooola unte em cheyalem 

[argadorn]

 papam aunty ...k2s thatah ravlasindhey...

[KathiRamdaas]

Her husband is clearly disturbed....no way he is getting back to normal...I think they should split and go on with their own lives.

[KathiRamdaas]

Pelli chesukune tollu and pelli ayina vaalu..... pellala past dig cheyakandi...thattukoleru...nowadays girls ki common 

[TOM_BHAYYA]

4 minutes ago, KathiRamdaas said:

Pelli chesukune tollu and pelli ayina vaalu..... pellala past dig cheyakandi...thattukoleru...nowadays girls ki common 

Maname past ga unna ammayini cheskunte better antav.. 

[KathiRamdaas]

5 minutes ago, TOM_BHAYYA said:

Maname past ga unna ammayini cheskunte better antav.. 

tarvaata pastness catch cheyalev antunaadu maa @Bhai ... 

[Bhai]

45 minutes ago, BommaliNinnodhala said:

pelli ayinaka endku vaa past love contacts.....men/women should stay away from past kaaadal/s after marriage......so stupid...dhooola unte em cheyalem 

vuncle started aa 

[TOM_BHAYYA]

47 minutes ago, BommaliNinnodhala said:

pelli ayinaka endku vaa past love contacts.....men/women should stay away from past kaaadal/s after marriage......so stupid...dhooola unte em cheyalem 

Wife ikkadikochi mana Lappy ye vaadudhhi.. auto sign in undi sasthadhi logout b cheyaru.. wife Alaa tv chusthe sofa lo Padukunnaka lappy tho time pass chedhamanukunnappudu gmail kanipisthadhi.. arey emochhai mails ani chusthunte oka cute bouyy nundi chat o mail o konchem theda ga kanipisthadhi.. entabba ani aadi mail tho search chesthe kuppal kuppal mails with cho chweet language kanipisthai.. manaki uchhaagaka heartbeat raise ayyi chustham anthe khel khatam dukhaan bundh

[nandananditha]

52 minutes ago, BommaliNinnodhala said:

pelli ayinaka endku vaa past love contacts.....men/women should stay away from past kaaadal/s after marriage......so stupid...dhooola unte em cheyalem 

+1  ekada US lo unadhi kabatii ok just chats tho adhe india lo undi unte pakka ga physical ga continue sesedhi

 

husband change avadu  unless she becomes independent

[Feelingbad]

Get separated..... leave that dhoola b!tch...start over 

[BommaliNinnodhala]

10 minutes ago, TOM_BHAYYA said:

Wife ikkadikochi mana Lappy ye vaadudhhi.. auto sign in undi sasthadhi logout b cheyaru.. wife Alaa tv chusthe sofa lo Padukunnaka lappy tho time pass chedhamanukunnappudu gmail kanipisthadhi.. arey emochhai mails ani chusthunte oka cute bouyy nundi chat o mail o konchem theda ga kanipisthadhi.. entabba ani aadi mail tho search chesthe kuppal kuppal mails with cho chweet language kanipisthai.. manaki uchhaagaka heartbeat raise ayyi chustham anthe khel khatam dukhaan bundh

auto sign personal gmails ki petti mari antha laazy ithe em cheyalem baa...when starting new life ..erase all the past..past antey contact okkate kaadu emails bokka boshanam anni included.. thats it...

[TOM_BHAYYA]

2 minutes ago, BommaliNinnodhala said:

auto sign personal gmails ki petti mari antha laazy ithe em cheyalem baa...when starting new life ..erase all the past..past antey contact okkate kaadu emails bokka boshanam anni included.. thats it...

Adhi manam sesi sastam aaallu b sesi saaavali ga