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4Vikram

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I'm probably going to commit suicide because I can't live like this anymore. I really want to live.

I am a 22 year old woman, I was born in Saudi Arabia to a very strict Muslim parents. I was taught to follow Islam blindly and never question it.

I hated the religion and I hated how everyone I know was so comitted to it even though it's so unfair, almost every woman I knew was a slave, including my mother. My dad yells at her, embaresses her in public, and she continues to serve him because it's her duty, he can’t even serve himself water. Most women I know think like my mother and they don't want freedom.

I stopped being a muslim in my teens, after reading a lot about the religion and because of how silly everyone around me is acting. I had to hide it and act like everyone else because I will probably get beaten or killed if anyone finds out. It's very lonely, I feel isolated, and I can't leave, I need my father's permission to do anything, I can't leave the house, let alone the country.

I couldn't study what I wanted, I'm stuck studying something I don't like because my father didn't let me study in a different city, he wouldn't allow me to pursue what I want because I’ll have to leave the city and he doesn't believe girls should be without a man.

I have only one friend, I met him online and we became very close, I told him everything, he was the only person I could talk to normally, but recently things went bad between us and we don't talk anymore. I don't blame him, I'm a mess.

I’ve been depressed and suicidal for so long, it's been worse these past few weeks because of losing my friend, I'm tired of pretending to be someone else, I don't want to wear the hijab, I don’t want to pretend to pray, I want to leave before I'm too old. But I can't.

I feel it's a waste to kill myself, I could be somebody if I get the chance, and I’m scared of dying, there's so much I want to experience.

I’m also scared for my mom, she will be hurt if I die like that, she's very fragile…

I don't know what to do with myself.

Edit: Thank you for all the comments, you gave me hope.

:3D_Smiles_216:

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24 minutes ago, 4Vikram said:

I'm probably going to commit suicide because I can't live like this anymore. I really want to live.

I am a 22 year old woman, I was born in Saudi Arabia to a very strict Muslim parents. I was taught to follow Islam blindly and never question it.

I hated the religion and I hated how everyone I know was so comitted to it even though it's so unfair, almost every woman I knew was a slave, including my mother. My dad yells at her, embaresses her in public, and she continues to serve him because it's her duty, he can’t even serve himself water. Most women I know think like my mother and they don't want freedom.

I stopped being a muslim in my teens, after reading a lot about the religion and because of how silly everyone around me is acting. I had to hide it and act like everyone else because I will probably get beaten or killed if anyone finds out. It's very lonely, I feel isolated, and I can't leave, I need my father's permission to do anything, I can't leave the house, let alone the country.

I couldn't study what I wanted, I'm stuck studying something I don't like because my father didn't let me study in a different city, he wouldn't allow me to pursue what I want because I’ll have to leave the city and he doesn't believe girls should be without a man.

I have only one friend, I met him online and we became very close, I told him everything, he was the only person I could talk to normally, but recently things went bad between us and we don't talk anymore. I don't blame him, I'm a mess.

I’ve been depressed and suicidal for so long, it's been worse these past few weeks because of losing my friend, I'm tired of pretending to be someone else, I don't want to wear the hijab, I don’t want to pretend to pray, I want to leave before I'm too old. But I can't.

I feel it's a waste to kill myself, I could be somebody if I get the chance, and I’m scared of dying, there's so much I want to experience.

I’m also scared for my mom, she will be hurt if I die like that, she's very fragile…

I don't know what to do with myself.

Edit: Thank you for all the comments, you gave me hope.

:3D_Smiles_216:

Saudi Arabia lo antha orthodox family lo periginda... mari Urdu kakunda English baagaane nerpichadu kada valla father.. online lo friends ni cheskunentha freedom ichadu kada.. antha kante turka poreelaki swecha em kavalanta.... ?

TS find her details.. break iddam

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2 minutes ago, Quickgun_murugan said:

Saudi Arabia lo antha orthodox family lo periginda... mari Urdu kakunda English baagaane nerpichadu kada valla father.. online lo friends ni cheskunentha freedom ichadu kada.. antha kante turka poreelaki swecha em kavalanta.... ?

TS find her details.. break iddam

email address undi kavala myan? link post sestha ikada

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4 minutes ago, Quickgun_murugan said:

Saudi Arabia lo antha orthodox family lo periginda... mari Urdu kakunda English baagaane nerpichadu kada valla father.. online lo friends ni cheskunentha freedom ichadu kada.. antha kante turka poreelaki swecha em kavalanta.... ?

TS find her details.. break iddam

16eza2.gif16eza2.gif

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12 minutes ago, Quickgun_murugan said:

Saudi Arabia lo antha orthodox family lo periginda... mari Urdu kakunda English baagaane nerpichadu kada valla father.. online lo friends ni cheskunentha freedom ichadu kada.. antha kante turka poreelaki swecha em kavalanta.... ?

TS find her details.. break iddam

valla ayya ki telsithe...nee next birthday ki nuvvu vundav

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Just now, siru said:

valla ayya ki telsithe...nee next birthday ki nuvvu vundav

ilaantollani aadukovataanikey nenu birthdays cheskotle eppatinundo... so valla ayya and motham eye sis digochina nannem peekaleru..

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1 minute ago, ronitreddy said:

Nu trap aypoyevu tempt ayyi..Ninnu American News Channels lo chudalsi osthadi

Trump thatha ki cheppi oka ministry ippiyy @ronitreddy ... me and trump thatha has plans to destroy the yey sis.. and we can easily do that..

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