I have cheated on my own loving husband and daughter. i betrayed my self. i regret it

[MagaMaharaju]

2 hours ago, Spartan said:

@tom bhayya

 

i was looking for indian forums which is why i have ended up here. i have cheated on my own loving husband and daughter and my whole family. i am completely lost and while writing this i feel like crying and there are tears in my eyes. i have ruined my own life and my husbands too.. :'(

This is how it all happened.
my parents were looking for a groom for me, arranged marriage. so they found this guy who is now my husband. we did all background checks and everything was fine. he was really handsome and i fell for him the moment i met him. but after we got married, i always felt like he would cheat on me even though he had the reputation of being honest everywhere. anyways, i would always keep checks on him like his phone, emails, where he goes what he does with friends etc. i would always check what he is up to because i always felt like he would cheat on me(i always thought of this because of his looks). i always kept a check but i never found anything suspicious and i was sure that he is very trustworthy.
we then had a daughter who is now 4 years old.
everything was fine and i had a loving husband whom i loved and a sweet daughter.

fast forward to 3 months ago.. my husband told me he had to go for a business trip, i was sad at first. it was a months trip. so he left after saying to everyone else and me and daughter. and he promised he would call every night and talk. that kept on going and he would daily call and it was kind of getting boring for me to answer his calls and tell him what i did whole day so i started to ignore his calls sometimes :'( he was just being nice to me by calling me every night to ask me what i did all day and i would in turn not even talk back.
then i met this man who was really good looking and i was very attracted to him. i met him at this childrens day care place where i was dropping my daughter and going back to home. this man asked me to go get lunch with him and i agreed. i became friends with him and i was clearly attracted to him. so a week later i called him to my own house after my daughter was asleep . I regret this so badly if i could only go back in time.

he came to my house and we ended up sleeping together in the SAME bed where my husband and i slept. the next morning i was thinking to my self what have i done, i have betrayed everyone. and i talked to this man and told him that its over between us. he left and was gone and i havent talked to him till now. then a few days later my husband returned, and everytime i saw my husband it would remind me of what i had done behind his back and of how i would never answer his calls. my husband had bought some gifts for me on his way back and for my daughter as well. i would just keep getting flashbacks of what i had done when my husband was not here and i couldnt get over it.
so i was in the kitchen and my phone rang, i picked it up and it was the same man i had slept with. he was asking me to go out with him somewhere, i told him i could not and what i had done was a mistake and we would no longer talk. my husband heard all of my conversation on the phone while he was in the lounge. when i went back to the lounge to serve him dinner he asked me 'how long have you been cheating on me' and i was shocked and i dropped my phone and just ran away out of the house. he tried to stop me but i didnt stop and kept going and started to cry. it was a big drama. later that night when i came back home my husband was crying as well and i told him that i regret it baddly and i shouldnt have done it. my husband also saw that i would decline his calls and all that. i came clean to him and i told him that i regret it a lot and i wish i could just go back in time and change it. he cried a lot and said that he couldnt love me anymore because of what i had done. he also said that he would have divorced me right away for this but he isnt going to because of our daughter and her future. he said that he isnt going to get physical with me any more and we are no longer husband and wife. he said we are now going to live as room mates and thats just it. now it has been a month since this has happened.

my husband has stopped eating any food i cook, he says that i am not going to eat anything you cook because i know where your hands have been.
he doesnt sleep with me on the bed.
he has stopped talking to all his friends family everyone he has been cut off. all hes doing is just going for work and coming back and not talking to anyone. i feel so sad now i have tried apologizing so many times but he says he cant forgive me for what i have done. he also said that i could have done the same thing, but what is the point of it ? i love you and thats why i didnt do such a thing. u never loved me. this is all he has said to me. i really really love him and my daughter but i dont know what to do now I feel like killing my self i am so sad for what i have done. i have been crying every night ever since then.. I also saw my husbands phone and he has been talking to agencies about looking for a new home, which means he is going to live separately from now onwards. i havent told my parents about this nor his parents. its has been between me and him only. my daughter has also been sad because she thinks mommy and daddy are always fighting. what have i done

my life feels so empty now we used to go out for dinner every once in a while and now its no more. he used to always love me and now he doesnt. he says he loves me but whenever he tries to, he always thinks of some other man putting his hands on me and he backs off :'(

 

This husband seems so genuine and sweet 

[Unityunity]

1 hour ago, MagaMaharaju said:

I am humanist 

[ariel]

tappulu jarugutay vayya okosari life lo emptiness to .. okka chance antunnattu undi icheste potadi 

[Unityunity]

6 minutes ago, ariel said:

tappulu jarugutay vayya okosari life lo emptiness to .. okka chance antunnattu undi icheste potadi 

Yes bro. Realization is more important for any human 

[Rushabhi]

Akkada tappu jarigindi emptiness valla kaadhu vonti dhoola valla. He will take his sweet time. Until then aame bharinchaka tappadhu

[Manikyam]

4 hours ago, Diana said:

first spelling mistake jarigindi tarvata danni nijam cheyalane thought ni implement chesindi  

[ariel]

1 minute ago, Rushabhi said:

Akkada tappu jarigindi emptiness valla kaadhu vonti dhoola valla. He will take his sweet time. Until then aame bharinchaka tappadhu

Adu akada sweet time kadu divorce time tesukuntunnattu undi

[Unityunity]

7 minutes ago, Rushabhi said:

Akkada tappu jarigindi emptiness valla kaadhu vonti dhoola valla. He will take his sweet time. Until then aame bharinchaka tappadhu

Yes I agree with your view ... but realization ayendi kada .. so atleast he can accept her apologies 

[tom bhayya]

33 minutes ago, ariel said:

tappulu jarugutay vayya okosari life lo emptiness to .. okka chance antunnattu undi icheste potadi 

life long anumanam tho bathakalsi vasthundhi 

[tom bhayya]

13 minutes ago, Unityunity said:

Yes I agree with your view ... but realization ayendi kada .. so atleast he can accept her apologies 

husband call vinnadu kabatti thelisindhi ledhantey inkenni sarlu jarigedho 

[ariel]

1 minute ago, tom bhayya said:

life long anumanam tho bathakalsi vasthundhi 

inkosari chudadam repeat ayite apudu elagu option open undiddi ga

[iPhoneX]

2 hours ago, MagaMaharaju said:

I am humanist 

[iPhoneX]

1 minute ago, tom bhayya said:

husband call vinnadu kabatti thelisindhi ledhantey inkenni sarlu jarigedho 

[kiraak_poradu]

2 hours ago, MagaMaharaju said:

I am humanist 

oho inka papist anukunna

[ariel]

7 minutes ago, tom bhayya said:

husband call vinnadu kabatti thelisindhi ledhantey inkenni sarlu jarigedho 

ilanti thoughts unte kashtam bhayya e kalam lo ..madisannaka tappu lu jargutay okosari chusi chudanattu munduki povala