Nerdy thread

[LastManStanding]

‘Murphy’s Law doesn’t meant that something bad will happen. It means that whatever can happen, will happen’ - Cooper

[Spartan]

If influenza was only contagious after symptoms appeared, it would have died out thousands of years ago. Somewhere between tool using and cave painting, homo habilis would have figured out to kill the guy with runny nose

[Spartan]

A physicist goes into an ice cream parlor every week. He always orders an ice cream sundae and offers one to the empty stool next to him. One day the owner of the shop asks the physicist, "Why do you do that?" The physicist replies, "Well, quantum mechanics teaches us that there is a chance that the matter above this stool will spontaneously transform into a beautiful woman who will accept my offer of an ice cream and fall in love with me." The owner says, "We have beautiful women come in here all the time. Why don't you offer one of them an ice cream and maybe she'll fall in love with you." And the physicist replies, "Yeah, right! What are the odds of THAT happening?"

[Spartan]

Smart? I’d have to lose 60 IQ points to be classified as smart.

[DrBeta]

1 minute ago, Spartan said:

Smart? I’d have to lose 60 IQ points to be classified as smart.

There is no lame option on the DB. Too bad. 

[DrBeta]

A logician comes out of the hospital where his wife has just given birth. A friend comes up to him and excitedly asks: "Is it a girl or a boy?" The logician replied, "yes".

[Spartan]

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H20."

The second one says, "I'll have some H20 too."

The second one dies.

[DrBeta]

7 minutes ago, Spartan said:

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H20."

The second one says, "I'll have some H20 too."

The second one dies.

These are so old. 

[Spartan]

Just now, DrBeta said:

These are so old. 

im getting old...

[DrBeta]

A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, "In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative." But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

[DrBeta]

2 minutes ago, Spartan said:

im getting old...

Age is just a number. 

[DrBeta]

Three logicians walk into a bar..

The bartender asks, "would all three of you like some beer?"

The first one replies,"I don't know"

The second one replies, "I don't know either"

The third replies, "Yes all three of us would like a beer"

[DrBeta]

[DrBeta]

[DrBeta]