Sadistic Behavior

[Android_Halwa]

Just now, Anushri said:

Sure will take time and see how things go between us 

Good luck and hope things will be better tomorrow than yesterday...It takes time to heal mental wounds but it will heal eventually...

intaki emi koora chesinav iyala mee intla ?

[Anushri]

Just now, Android_Halwa said:

Good luck and hope things will be better tomorrow than yesterday...It takes time to heal mental wounds but it will heal eventually...

intaki emi koora chesinav iyala mee intla ?

No koora...chicken dum biryani with raitha 

[MobileMusic]

3 hours ago, Anushri said:

How to esacape from husbands sadistic behavior like 

snapping fingers many times while driving to scare me off...even though we didn’t had any argument...don’t know what reminded him

making faces as if he hates me and giving weird expressions.....saying things like you are fit for nothing, See your face in the mirror (he looks handsome)

I told my parents and in-laws many times about his behavior....I even told him that it hurts me very much but he is the same...I know I need to take him to counseling but he will not agree...I do not want to break my marriage for kids sake 

he is seriously having some kind of psychological issue which needs to be treated but don’t know how to do that

COUPLE-COUNSELING. Period.

Divorce is a major-life decision and the very last option when you have kids and so, do not even think about it now. If you are in the the US and if your husband is not a citizen, if he continues his abusive behavior into domestic violence, his a$s will be packed, sealed and deported back to India as a felon the moment he is released from the jail for the crime (ICE places a hold on him with the prison and he is whisked away right after release). In the event of any violent incident, things get blown out of proportion quickly before you know it due to racial profiling - if you are neither a white nor a black but an alien. Abusive behaviors continue for years before they result in an incident. People continue abusive behaviors out of ignorance of laws, think this is India where anything goes and end up in legal sh*t. Not to mention, any incident of violence would result in CPS taking away your children, putting them at foster homes (the worst place for a kid to grow up where kids could get raped) and it would take years before you see them again or get them back.

Speaking of divorce rates - in the US, 50% of all first marriages, 70% of all second marriages and 90% of all third marriages result in divorces. In India, these rates may be a bit low? Due to these glaring stats, some states have made it prerequisite/mandatory for couples to go through pre-marital counseling. Divorce rates fell drastically wherever pre-marital counseling was made mandatory. That is how effective counseling is because it is "education". However, if he has mental health issues, he also needs some diagnosis and treatment.

Why did he marry you if he never liked you? For money? Parental pressure? What are those parents doing now when he is abusing you? There is usually no elderly support in love marriages against parent's wishes but in arranged marriages, elders do intervene and try everything to keep the marriage intact as their responsibility because it was they who arranged it. What about the Wedding Vows ("in sickness and health...") - why doesn't he respect them? There should be "balance-of-power" in a relationship for it to be healthy. Otherwise, if one spouse has upper hand over the other, it will result in a begging situation and that relationship is over even before it started.

First marriage is the only decent marriage one can ever have! Once that is over, all you find is mediocre people with serious issues (there is a reason why they were divorced, after all). Divorce is like killing your family! You people should realize the VALUE of people/things/peace-of-mind you have in your lives while you have them. Once they are gone, it will never be the same again!

Talking about couple-counseling: Your husband is very likely to get offended at the very suggestion which is normal but you need to make him understand that you want to go couple-counseling only because you love him and the kids and you want to keep the marriage and make it better. Show him some online stuff and its benefits - he should then appreciate it.

Couples - https://www.google.com/search?q=couple+counseling+benefits

Convince spouse - https://www.google.com/search?q=couple+counseling+convince+spouse

Pre-marital - https://www.google.com/search?q=benefits+of+couples+counseling+before+marriage

Academic education does not teach us money-management skills and relationship-management skills. That is the reason why so many lottery winners end up homeless and so many couples end up in divorces (even over silly matters). Special education/counseling solves these issues as it will empower you with the necessary knowledge and skills to keep the marriage intact.

Good luck!

[Anushri]

Thankyou @MobileMusic for the post

What u said is true but not everyone is so matured to understand the issues and go for counseling

[Anushri]

Why flights get late on weekends...Is it due to air traffic?

[JollyBoy]

1 minute ago, Anushri said:

Why flights get late on weekends...Is it due to air traffic?

vatiki rest kavali kada

[MagaMaharaju]

1 minute ago, Anushri said:

Why flights get late on weekends...Is it due to air traffic?

one problem at a time Anushri. Take it easy 

[Anushri]

2 minutes ago, JollyBoy said:

vatiki rest kavali kada

  Once again proved that mana iddariki IQ and EQ ekkuva ani 

[Anushri]

1 minute ago, MagaMaharaju said:

one problem at a time Anushri. Take it easy 

Anthe antaava

[JollyBoy]

Just now, Anushri said:

  One again proved mana iddariki IQ and EQ ekkuva ani 

nenepudo cheppa.. nuv nammaledu. mana best friend lokesh cm ayyaka india move aipota

[JollyBoy]

2 minutes ago, MagaMaharaju said:

one problem at a time Anushri. Take it easy 

kastam... problems ni chicken nuggets la vestadi @Anushri

[Anushri]

1 minute ago, JollyBoy said:

nenepudo cheppa.. nuv nammaledu. mana best friend lokesh cm ayyaka india move aipota

[Anushri]

1 minute ago, JollyBoy said:

kastam... problems ni chicken nuggets la vestadi @Anushri

[Piscop]

3 hours ago, riashli said:

Marriage system is bull sh1t n u can't escape 

Aunty 😕

[Pentaya2]

1 hour ago, Android_Halwa said:

@Anushri Dear member, You are making the biggest blunder in your marriage by asking for suggestions from this DB members.

I saw some of the responses by a few DB members and I was shocked to see those responses.

It's not your husband's behavior that things are getting worse but it's because of free suggestions by such people are driving you in the wrong direction and creating unnecessary issues in your marriage life.

I know you not a child to listen to such advice but trust me, such things do have an effect on your neutral thinking. 

 

1 hour ago, Android_Halwa said:

Dear DB members,

Are you guys some kind of stupids? Are you guys grown-ups? or some random dumb heads who know how to type?

What do you know about @anushri's problems to give LIFE CHANGING pieces of advice such as divorce or file legal cases?

Do you know that such stupid advices can have an effect on @Anushri's neutral thinking to take a decision on her life?

 

 

@Android_Halwa super advice ra. I truly appreciate it.

@Anushri ... dont get into depression or take any drastic decisions. I had anger issues in the past. It took me yrs to change my personality by doing some yoga, meditation and change in food habits.

My wife explained me what she is thinking and at the same time she doesn’t want to lose me (me like wise). We both sat and spoke for hours which straightened up most of the things. Its been a year I shouted on her or breaking phones/coffee cups. I have probably apologised her hundred thousand times.

I used to bring her plants whenever I shouted on her. Over the years I stopped buying plants :). For few things time will answer and DONOT LISTEN TO FEW IDIOTS here and DONOT share any PERSONAL INFO. 

Btw, I have Atention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder since childhood and my wife identified it  NOT PARENTS.