Indian & western marriage system paina Joke

[tennisluvr]

1 minute ago, sboyr2r said:

Pichalite bro oka comment ki respect pothada, Ade virat Kohli duck out aithe or catch drop cheste malla chance ivvava idi ante. 

To tell greatness of one thing you have to give lame example of other right, may be Nee niche nerchukunnademo. Likewise virat kohli meeda threads esi indirect ga sachin ni miguthav kada ala annamata ani @Kool_SRG cheppamannadu 

Yeah ade le, but what he gave was an extreme example. Maybe happens in some backwaters of Alabama or Mississippi but then to extrapolate that and call it a cultural thing isn't right. It's the same as a Westerner calling all Indians rapists since there are some rapists in India. 

Both are extreme examples and we shouldn't support resorting to making generalizations based on extremities anedi naa godu

[tennisluvr]

2 minutes ago, sboyr2r said:

Vaadi sample size 1:10 

min reality it might 1:100000 so not everyone do that. 

I know but @Odales rants are funny

[JohnSnow]

3 minutes ago, tennisluvr said:

Lol go to any urban center in India and there are plenty of these examples, middle aged housewives sleeping around with younger guys since their husbands can't satisfy them anymore. Plenty of women in India now a days file false 498a cases and extort guys for money, maybe you chose to close your eyes when you see those cases. 

Their lives are as fcuked up as the lives of a lot of unhappy Indian youth are now a days. 

India has 1% divorce rate and America has 46% divorce rate.. .  Ikakda kuda alimony peru cheppi bane extortion untadhi. 

And ikkadi thella housewives padukora? Bore kotti bar ki poina, kottha BBC neighbour pakkintiki vacchina padukuntai ikakda. 

[tennisluvr]

Just now, JohnSnow said:

India has 1% divorce rate and America has 46% divorce rate.. .  Ikakda kuda alimony peru cheppi bane extortion untadhi. 

And ikkadi thella housewives padukora? Bore kotti bar ki poina, kottha BBC neighbour pakkintiki vacchina padukuntai ikakda. 

Divorce rates don't mean crap, plus the divorce rates in modern day urban India aren't 1%. Lots of unhappy couples who are stuck in marriages but can't divorce due to social stigma, etc how's that an indicator of success. 

Aa alimony peru tho extortion ikkadi nundi nerchukuni India lo inka pedda sthayi ki pattukellaru, maybe none of your friends have gone through it. I know people who lost almost everything they had in bad divorces. 

The examples you gave are a minority even here. As I said, using extreme examples to generalize things is a sign of desperation. 

[MagaMaharaju]

3 minutes ago, JohnSnow said:

India has 1% divorce rate and America has 46% divorce rate.. .  Ikakda kuda alimony peru cheppi bane extortion untadhi. 

And ikkadi thella housewives padukora? Bore kotti bar ki poina, kottha BBC neighbour pakkintiki vacchina padukuntai ikakda. 

1% ah? Ne stats report nuvve generating ah LOL

[JohnSnow]

Just now, MagaMaharaju said:

1% ah? Ne stats report nuvve generating ah LOL

There you go raja

https://www.indiatoday.in/education-today/gk-current-affairs/story/india-has-the-lowest-divorce-rate-in-the-world-1392407-2018-11-20

[sboyr2r]

2 minutes ago, tennisluvr said:

Yeah ade le, but what he gave was an extreme example. Maybe happens in some backwaters of Alabama or Mississippi but then to extrapolate that and call it a cultural thing isn't right. It's the same as a Westerner calling all Indians rapists since there are some rapists in India. 

Both are extreme examples and we shouldn't support resorting to making generalizations based on extremities anedi naa godu

Manaki telvaka. 

I used to work with a white guy he retired working for Chevy. He told me abt his family, pretty much like yours and mine. He had 3/4 kids, his wife was house wife took care of house, they were married for ~50 yrs. he told that he was happiest man when his elder son was got married but when his son went through divorce he was telling me he was sad, she(daughter in law) wanted to play around left my son ani.

manaki telvaka ante. I know these kinda examples exist a lot with my acquaintances with my professor, my colleagues in lab I haven’t seen such example mentioned by TS yet ani @Meow cheppamannadu 

[tennisluvr]

Just now, MagaMaharaju said:

1% ah? Ne stats report nuvve generating ah LOL

Statistics collected from www.anta.com. Very very reliable

[JohnSnow]

Just now, tennisluvr said:

Statistics collected from www.anta.com. Very very reliable

Ee site lo unnai uncle. Nenem sollu cheppatla

https://www.indiatoday.in/education-today/gk-current-affairs/story/india-has-the-lowest-divorce-rate-in-the-world-1392407-2018-11-20

[tennisluvr]

1 minute ago, JohnSnow said:

There you go raja

https://www.indiatoday.in/education-today/gk-current-affairs/story/india-has-the-lowest-divorce-rate-in-the-world-1392407-2018-11-20

Here are five reasons the low divorce rate is not a good thing:

1.). Women have no voice

According to a study, within India, divorce rates are the lowest in Uttar Pradesh, Bihar, Haryana and Rajasthan, where patriarchy still has a stranglehold on society, while divorces are higher in more liberal north-eastern states.

This clearly shows that divorce rates are low because even today, too many women are not in a position to speak up against their families, or support themselves financially and emotionally if they choose to walk out of oppressive marriages.

A formal divorce would mean the woman being entitled to alimony, possible custody of the children and child support, whereas our society ensures men can mistreat or ignore their wives without too many questions being asked.

2.). Sanskar over happiness

Of course, it’s not just women who suffer bad marriages. Indians are just never taught to prioritise individual happiness.

The family’s ‘reputation’, the ‘feelings’ of the entire ecosystem around us are supposed to be more important than following our heart. Thus, divorce comes with the tremendous stigma of selfishly abandoning your familial duties, and damaging your family name in the process.

The Great Indian Joint Family is often the greatest upholder of regressive traditions. (Photo: YouTube screengrab/Still: Hum Saath Saath Hain)

Of course, gender plays a role here too — the woman who couldn’t ‘keep her man happy’ is both to be pitied and censured.

Important to note here is that according to census data, more women declared themselves divorced than men, which shows that men find it much easier to remarry than women.

3.). Long legal process

There are practical difficulties too. India is among the most progressive modern democracies as far as the law on divorce is concerned — the Hindu Code Bill, passed in Parliament in the very first decade after our Independence, granted divorce and remarriage rights to men and women equally.

But great intentions are ruined by bureaucratic inefficiencies. The legal system in India is so slow and long-drawn that simply initiating the process of divorce is intimidating. The legal battle, with adjourned hearings and perennial staff crunch in courts, takes up a lot of time — and a lot of money.

4.). Morality over legality

Even if you do choose to take the legal plunge, divorces in India are not easy to come by. Judges, after all, are products of our society, and their focus is on reconciliation rather than separation. Countless women have tales to narrate of judges asking them to ‘think of their family and kids’, despite presenting evidence of cruelty and abuse.

Couples seeking divorce through mutual consent are sent for endless rounds of counselling and mediation. Even if we assume the judges are well-intentioned, they ignore what two adults want for themselves, and force them to go through a process that delays their attempts to build a new life. 

5.). Religion

The last, but perhaps the most important cause behind the longevity of Indian marriages is religion. Hinduism is the dominant religion in India, where marriage is a sacred bond that is supposed to outlive rebirths.

The pheras are supposed to last seven lifetimes. (Photo: YouTube)

The dissolution of marriage like a civil contract is a distinctly modern concept for a lot of Indians, and is gaining acceptance very slowly.

Hopefully, as more women become financially independent and societal norms relax, divorce will be freed of social stigma, and people will be able to place their happiness above a sense of false morality.

[tennisluvr]

Just now, JohnSnow said:

Ee site lo unnai uncle. Nenem sollu cheppatla

https://www.indiatoday.in/education-today/gk-current-affairs/story/india-has-the-lowest-divorce-rate-in-the-world-1392407-2018-11-20

Doesn't matter, because the actual reality is 

Here are five reasons the low divorce rate is not a good thing:

1.). Women have no voice

According to a study, within India, divorce rates are the lowest in Uttar Pradesh, Bihar, Haryana and Rajasthan, where patriarchy still has a stranglehold on society, while divorces are higher in more liberal north-eastern states.

This clearly shows that divorce rates are low because even today, too many women are not in a position to speak up against their families, or support themselves financially and emotionally if they choose to walk out of oppressive marriages.

A formal divorce would mean the woman being entitled to alimony, possible custody of the children and child support, whereas our society ensures men can mistreat or ignore their wives without too many questions being asked.

2.). Sanskar over happiness

Of course, it’s not just women who suffer bad marriages. Indians are just never taught to prioritise individual happiness.

The family’s ‘reputation’, the ‘feelings’ of the entire ecosystem around us are supposed to be more important than following our heart. Thus, divorce comes with the tremendous stigma of selfishly abandoning your familial duties, and damaging your family name in the process.

The Great Indian Joint Family is often the greatest upholder of regressive traditions. (Photo: YouTube screengrab/Still: Hum Saath Saath Hain)

Of course, gender plays a role here too — the woman who couldn’t ‘keep her man happy’ is both to be pitied and censured.

Important to note here is that according to census data, more women declared themselves divorced than men, which shows that men find it much easier to remarry than women.

3.). Long legal process

There are practical difficulties too. India is among the most progressive modern democracies as far as the law on divorce is concerned — the Hindu Code Bill, passed in Parliament in the very first decade after our Independence, granted divorce and remarriage rights to men and women equally.

But great intentions are ruined by bureaucratic inefficiencies. The legal system in India is so slow and long-drawn that simply initiating the process of divorce is intimidating. The legal battle, with adjourned hearings and perennial staff crunch in courts, takes up a lot of time — and a lot of money.

4.). Morality over legality

Even if you do choose to take the legal plunge, divorces in India are not easy to come by. Judges, after all, are products of our society, and their focus is on reconciliation rather than separation. Countless women have tales to narrate of judges asking them to ‘think of their family and kids’, despite presenting evidence of cruelty and abuse.

Couples seeking divorce through mutual consent are sent for endless rounds of counselling and mediation. Even if we assume the judges are well-intentioned, they ignore what two adults want for themselves, and force them to go through a process that delays their attempts to build a new life. 

5.). Religion

The last, but perhaps the most important cause behind the longevity of Indian marriages is religion. Hinduism is the dominant religion in India, where marriage is a sacred bond that is supposed to outlive rebirths.

The pheras are supposed to last seven lifetimes. (Photo: YouTube)

The dissolution of marriage like a civil contract is a distinctly modern concept for a lot of Indians, and is gaining acceptance very slowly.

Hopefully, as more women become financially independent and societal norms relax, divorce will be freed of social stigma, and people will be able to place their happiness above a sense of false morality.

[JohnSnow]

1 minute ago, tennisluvr said:

Doesn't matter, because the actual reality is 

Here are five reasons the low divorce rate is not a good thing:

1.). Women have no voice

According to a study, within India, divorce rates are the lowest in Uttar Pradesh, Bihar, Haryana and Rajasthan, where patriarchy still has a stranglehold on society, while divorces are higher in more liberal north-eastern states.

This clearly shows that divorce rates are low because even today, too many women are not in a position to speak up against their families, or support themselves financially and emotionally if they choose to walk out of oppressive marriages.

A formal divorce would mean the woman being entitled to alimony, possible custody of the children and child support, whereas our society ensures men can mistreat or ignore their wives without too many questions being asked.

2.). Sanskar over happiness

Of course, it’s not just women who suffer bad marriages. Indians are just never taught to prioritise individual happiness.

The family’s ‘reputation’, the ‘feelings’ of the entire ecosystem around us are supposed to be more important than following our heart. Thus, divorce comes with the tremendous stigma of selfishly abandoning your familial duties, and damaging your family name in the process.

The Great Indian Joint Family is often the greatest upholder of regressive traditions. (Photo: YouTube screengrab/Still: Hum Saath Saath Hain)

Of course, gender plays a role here too — the woman who couldn’t ‘keep her man happy’ is both to be pitied and censured.

Important to note here is that according to census data, more women declared themselves divorced than men, which shows that men find it much easier to remarry than women.

3.). Long legal process

There are practical difficulties too. India is among the most progressive modern democracies as far as the law on divorce is concerned — the Hindu Code Bill, passed in Parliament in the very first decade after our Independence, granted divorce and remarriage rights to men and women equally.

But great intentions are ruined by bureaucratic inefficiencies. The legal system in India is so slow and long-drawn that simply initiating the process of divorce is intimidating. The legal battle, with adjourned hearings and perennial staff crunch in courts, takes up a lot of time — and a lot of money.

4.). Morality over legality

Even if you do choose to take the legal plunge, divorces in India are not easy to come by. Judges, after all, are products of our society, and their focus is on reconciliation rather than separation. Countless women have tales to narrate of judges asking them to ‘think of their family and kids’, despite presenting evidence of cruelty and abuse.

Couples seeking divorce through mutual consent are sent for endless rounds of counselling and mediation. Even if we assume the judges are well-intentioned, they ignore what two adults want for themselves, and force them to go through a process that delays their attempts to build a new life. 

5.). Religion

The last, but perhaps the most important cause behind the longevity of Indian marriages is religion. Hinduism is the dominant religion in India, where marriage is a sacred bond that is supposed to outlive rebirths.

The pheras are supposed to last seven lifetimes. (Photo: YouTube)

The dissolution of marriage like a civil contract is a distinctly modern concept for a lot of Indians, and is gaining acceptance very slowly.

Hopefully, as more women become financially independent and societal norms relax, divorce will be freed of social stigma, and people will be able to place their happiness above a sense of false morality.

Idhi inti intiki velli research chesina opinion aa uncle , divorce rate statistics laga.. 

[tennisluvr]

1 minute ago, sboyr2r said:

Manaki telvaka. 

I used to work with a white guy he retired working for Chevy. He told me abt his family, pretty much like yours and mine. He had 3/4 kids, his wife was house wife took care of house, they were married for ~50 yrs. he told that he was happiest man when his elder son was got married but when his son went through divorce he was telling me he was sad, she(daughter in law) wanted to play around left my son ani.

manaki telvaka ante. I know these kinda examples exist a lot with my acquaintances with my professor, my colleagues in lab I haven’t seen such example mentioned by TS yet ani @Meow cheppamannadu 

I have plenty of tella and nalla friends, some of them went through bad divorces and some went through amicable divorces where they stayed friends even after they split up. 

But most of them have stayed together for more than a decade and one of my neighbors has been with his wife for 35 years now. All his kids are married too and seem to be doing good. I also knew a few Christian men and women here who haven't had sex till after their marriage as is required by Christianity, so to generalize all people here to have multiple sex partners and cheat on their partners is an indicator of the extreme ignorance the people who make such comments possess. 

[tennisluvr]

Just now, JohnSnow said:

Idhi inti intiki velli research chesina opinion aa uncle , divorce rate statistics laga.. 

Nuvve cheppu whatever suits your implicit bias ade consider cheddamu

[JohnSnow]

6 minutes ago, tennisluvr said:

Divorce rates don't mean crap, plus the divorce rates in modern day urban India aren't 1%. Lots of unhappy couples who are stuck in marriages but can't divorce due to social stigma, etc how's that an indicator of success. 

Aa alimony peru tho extortion ikkadi nundi nerchukuni India lo inka pedda sthayi ki pattukellaru, maybe none of your friends have gone through it. I know people who lost almost everything they had in bad divorces. 

The examples you gave are a minority even here. As I said, using extreme examples to generalize things is a sign of desperation. 

I am just saying what I am seeing in the American society. My friends, relatives and co workers are happy with their lives while I was in india.  May be 1 in 100 of them has some family issues like divorce and other things..

America lo team mate tho beer thaagina sare prathi vadu open aipotadu, divorce and she is a bi**h, stepson, stepdaughter lanti edava sodhi tho