Is it unreasonable/unrealistic to expect bride with no past(excluding crushes, short/not-so-serious relationship with no intimacy) in arranged marriage. I am born and bred in Andhra.

[someguy]

Hi,

I am a 29 year old male. I come from a middle class, traditional family background. I am actually a bit introverted and don't know much on what goes around(really!), loka gnanam koncham takkuva, eppudu chuttu em jaruguthundani pattichchukoledu, just na pani nenu chesukuntu velle rakam. Marriage gurinchi eppudu serious ga alochinchaledu kaani, ippudu serious matches chustunnaru parents, and ee doubt vachchindi. Until today, nenu mostly still inka paatha kalam la (our parents generation la) undochchane anukunna, I mean, ekkado konni exceptions undochchu kaani, maximum andaru ala(boyfriends culture, premarital etc..) undarani anukunna. But, kontha research chesthe telisindi, ippudu asala ala lerani!!. chala mandi almost 60-90% ammaylu either boyfriends undadamo or love (might or might not be serious) undochchu and they might have done almost everything before marriage (i.e not just holding hangs and maybe kissing/hugging, which is a bit fine). Ippudu andaru (even men) "past is past", "past does not matter, ippudu sarigga unte saripotundi" ane opinions tho unnaru ani telisindi.

Dentlo entha nijam undi naaku sarigga teliyadamledu. 

"Idanta exaggerated stuff, its still like old times, at least mostly" ane daniki arguments: 

-> Nenu chusina vallayithe ela leru (even boys), kontha mandi unnaru(undochchu), but most ayithe ala leru. And these from my college and work. Most of the girls/women are traditional types (not orthodox, but just traditional), but then again, I cannot confidently say what goes around under the shade (as previously mentioned, antha loka gnanam ledu, eppudu ilanti vati gurinchi inquire cheyyaledu)

-> boyfriends culture anthaga undakapovachchu, at least in the traditional families, which are the most common in arranged marriages. the usual arranged marriage would be a risk to them (fear of getting cancelled etc..). serious committed relationship (love) appears to be the only possibility. And, not so serious relationships lo ammaylu antha easy ga everything ki oppukoru(ani na feeling), mostly these type of not-so-serious relationships will just end with just being friends, with just some flirt or first base involved and thats it.

against arguments: 

-> Chala mandi ide cheptunnaru, so it may very well be true. kanipinchedanta pachachaga undakunovadam can turn out to be foolishness. but then again, I might be asking/looking in wrong demographic. Most of the people are from online forums, they could be young, upper class people from metros and they cannot represent everyone. And as for real people I know, I got mixed answers!

-> Times have changed. Ippudu there is more and easy communication between boys and girls(restraints, judgements ekkuva levu), job/income undi, they can live on their own. So it is relatively easier to get into relationships nowadays. but, still this point can be argued, especially when we are talking about your typical traditional girls. And it would be a lot easier for girls than boys.

Please try to be broad minded. Meedi orthodox family background kabatti andaru alane undakapovachchu, at the same time, modern/rich/upper class family nunchi vachcharu, chala cases chusaru, kabatti ammaylandaru (regardless of whether they are modern/rich/upper class) alane untaru anadam kuda wrong ani naa opinion (unless, you genuinely think that is the case).  

Also, I am not a hypocrite.. I don't have any kinds of relationships. Andukani nenu alanti ammayne expect chestunna ani kaadu, thats just childish. And yes, to some extent it is lack of oppurtunity, but only until teenage/post teenage. that too, only because I was more focused on studies, career, earning money, making ends meet and didn't have much time or interest for any of this. but yes, had an oppurtunity landed, I would have most probably done it. but the important thing is - now that I am mature, I am very glad I didn't get involved in any of it. The reason I am looking for partner with no past relationship is simple, I just cant digest it! (retroactive jealousy i guess), naa valla kaadu!. quite frankly I don't know how many men can stomach it! (even the non virgin ones). And i am saving myself because it would be unfair if i had any past. on the top of it, personally I think it is a great gift. nee partner ki ,neeku elanti past ledu, you are the first(and hopefully last) ani telisthe unde mental satisfaction is priceless. past leni ammay dorike chances takkuva ayina parledu, I will stay the same. Chances takkuvani aa tappu chesesthe, repo naa luck bavundi past leni ammay vasthe i'll feel like crap!

Sorry for the long post too, hope its not a bore

Thanks in advance

A separate question: Ikkada max andaru NRIs ee naa? (kinda got a feeling that most people here might be NRIs, not sure though)

[Prince_Fan]

Rey mods...pani m leda miku ?

[someguy]

!!?. I am not a mod

oh! okay, ante post delete cheyyamana meaning!?

[Catalpha]

@Arey_enti_ra_idi

[Anta Assamey]

[TrollBait]

4 minutes ago, Catalpha said:

@Arey_enti_ra_idi

motham sadivaava? first saduvu.

taravatha ye question undadhu.

 

[Catalpha]

Just now, TrollBait said:

motham sadivaava? first saduvu.

taravatha ye question undadhu.

 

Readed everything ya

[dasara_bullodu1]

nijam cheppu nuv Vendy kada

[ShruteSastry]

Expecting Seetha when you are Ram is totally normal.

I'm sure, most of your points are valid, and yes traditional arranged marriages and traditional girls inka unnaru.

Hope you get what you deserve.

[kothavani]

Nee opika paduganu antha peddagq ela rasav anna

[LadiesTailor]

@someguy are you still virgin ? 

[kothavani]

1 minute ago, LadiesTailor said:

@someguy are you still virgin ? 

Will strip clubs, HJ and BJ at massage parlors count ani adugutunadu?

[LadiesTailor]

1 minute ago, kothavani said:

Will strip clubs, HJ and BJ at massage parlors count ani adugutunadu?

 (i.e not just holding hangs and maybe kissing/hugging, which is a bit fine)
 

Pina statement choodu kaka... nuvvu cheppina vi aa list lo levu  nuvvu not a virgin 😜😜

[someguy]

evadi mental tensions vadivi! .

but i was serious about all this, lockdown effect e emo, making me very restless, thinking too much.. 

[someguy]

14 minutes ago, dasara_bullodu1 said:

nijam cheppu nuv Vendy kada

"Vendy" ?