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Lost my father two weeks ago with CoViD. Feeling lost in life.


LifeLoser

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6 hours ago, LifeLoser said:

I am an active long time member in this db. But posting this as a getaway. Extreme stress lo vunnanu. Idi ayina ventane post cheddam ani ID create chesanu. Ippatiki approve ayyindi. There are only few people I love in this life. I had only three people left in this category. My mom, dad, and uncle. They live in India. Unfortunately, I lost my dad to Covid two weeks ago and my mom and uncle are in the hospital with covid. Dad chanipoyarannadi tattukolekapotunnanu. Health issues emi lekunde except sugar. adi kooda control lo vundi. Covid death ani body kooda ivvaledu. He was cremated by GHMC like an orphan. I am stuck in the US all alone. Moodella nundi nenu amma nee taggaraki vachi vuntamura ani adigaaru. Naaku tevaalane vundi kaani, prati summer postpone chesanu because naa career and jeevitham meeda naake santosham ledu. Edo cheyyali ekkadiko vellali aney aasa. Deeni vallane 35 vachina  pelli chesukokunda koorchunna. Pelli chesukora manavallatho aadukovalani vundi ani baaga adigaaru. Now I didn't even get to see him for the last time. He was always there for me in my life. When I met with accident, he was there again to teach me to walk. He feeds me in my mouth even at this age. Tana purse lo roopayi kooda leni time lo naa taggara vandalu vundevi (teens and college kada. Vyasanalu ekkuva). Naaku muppai yellu vachina haddukuni padukune vaadini. Antha kashta padi US pampina, tanani okka saari kooda US teesukuraaledu.. 14yrs avutundi vachi.. I cannot fathom that he is no longer with me and I did not treat him well. Chivari saariga tanani naalugella kritam choosanu. ee nalugellallo voice calls tappithey video chat kooda eppudu cheyaledu. I miss him badly and jeevitham enduko ardham kaatledu. India ki vellalante vanuku vastundi. aa environment dad thone alavatu ayyindi. Ippudu tanu leni chotiki vellalani ledu. My mom and uncle are still in the hospital. I hate myself. I want my dad back.

 

Stay strong. me amma situation ela untundo alochinchu.

Go to your mom and stay there for her. She needs you more than your misery. 

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Sorry bro.... Cry a lot and let those tears flush out completely..... Stay strong.

But dude I don't know whats stopping you from going to India???

Fck my life, career and fck US........ I would have left everything in heartbeat......... next 6 hours india flight.......  1 way ticket 50,000USD unna........ flight teeskuni vellipotunde.

Malli US vastanu raano thats all secondary and nothing matters......... India lo unna daanitho brathukuta if I have no options.

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Did you cry it out bro ... konchm eduvu .. it is ok ... you will feeL good ... time will cure everything... take care of mom and uncle ... try to get married .. may be your dad will show up as your son .. stay strong 

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6 hours ago, LifeLoser said:

I am an active long time member in this db. But posting this as a getaway. Extreme stress lo vunnanu. Idi ayina ventane post cheddam ani ID create chesanu. Ippatiki approve ayyindi. There are only few people I love in this life. I had only three people left in this category. My mom, dad, and uncle. They live in India. Unfortunately, I lost my dad to Covid two weeks ago and my mom and uncle are in the hospital with covid. Dad chanipoyarannadi tattukolekapotunnanu. Health issues emi lekunde except sugar. adi kooda control lo vundi. Covid death ani body kooda ivvaledu. He was cremated by GHMC like an orphan. I am stuck in the US all alone. Moodella nundi nenu amma nee taggaraki vachi vuntamura ani adigaaru. Naaku tevaalane vundi kaani, prati summer postpone chesanu because naa career and jeevitham meeda naake santosham ledu. Edo cheyyali ekkadiko vellali aney aasa. Deeni vallane 35 vachina  pelli chesukokunda koorchunna. Pelli chesukora manavallatho aadukovalani vundi ani baaga adigaaru. Now I didn't even get to see him for the last time. He was always there for me in my life. When I met with accident, he was there again to teach me to walk. He feeds me in my mouth even at this age. Tana purse lo roopayi kooda leni time lo naa taggara vandalu vundevi (teens and college kada. Vyasanalu ekkuva). Naaku muppai yellu vachina haddukuni padukune vaadini. Antha kashta padi US pampina, tanani okka saari kooda US teesukuraaledu.. 14yrs avutundi vachi.. I cannot fathom that he is no longer with me and I did not treat him well. Chivari saariga tanani naalugella kritam choosanu. ee nalugellallo voice calls tappithey video chat kooda eppudu cheyaledu. I miss him badly and jeevitham enduko ardham kaatledu. India ki vellalante vanuku vastundi. aa environment dad thone alavatu ayyindi. Ippudu tanu leni chotiki vellalani ledu. My mom and uncle are still in the hospital. I hate myself. I want my dad back.

 

idhi chadhuvuthunte naa kallalo nundi tears ochesayi bro...no one can replace our parents bro....

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53 minutes ago, Laffut said:

bro, I can understand what you are going through...listen to my story and then decide what to do....nuvvu India velli hotel lo untava, mi elntlo untava anedi ni estam but mi mom tondaraga kolukovalate you have to provide enough moral support to her right now being outside the hospital or what ever means that may be but not in US posting on Andhra friends(this is a hard fact and I am sorry to say that), now listen to my story

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ma dad 2 months back passed away....how it started and how he got it is still a mystery....ma parents gatha 8 months nundi almost lockdown lone unaru with very limited contact...my dad had preexisting conditions so they were taking precautions but one day my dad went outside to meet his friends, stayed with them for 5 mins wearing mask and came back home with driver so it may be through driver or meeting his friends....fever start aindi ayana pcp/cardio daggariki velaru he prescribed all the tests and covid test came back negative, antibiotics started fever taggindi 5 days tarvata and  malli start aindi so doctor daggariki vellaru (dad has copd and he didn't cough at all) so atanu pulmonologist ki refer chesaru, ct tesaru and asked to join in hospital immediately so manchi hospital in anantapur asked to come tomorrow because beds were full and joined in a not so great hospital and they said there is no chance of survival (na story in us....I have two kids 6 & 4 and I was in dilemma whole day to either go or stay...my wife stopped talking to me because she thought she and kids might lose me if I go to India but morally she was supportive but couldn't digest the fact ...but I decided to go to India anyhow because if something happens to my father and if I stay back nannu nenu epudu kshaminchukolenu...it may be fine for people who can live with such a burden and I am not that kind....so wife tho matladi and she also felt that I should go and then Air India flight ekki Hyd Vella) elopu na childhood freind was with my mom and nenu vadiki ee life motham runa padi unta...he was my savior and three days passed by dad level emi improve kale...nenu India vellelopu naku unna circle lo friends lo doctors tho ma friend ni link chesi nidra pokunda we were monitoring situation and decided that we should move him to Hyderabad...ambulances in anantapur are crap so finally using some influence oka pedda hospital lo matladi and vallu ambulance pamparu and shifted him to Hyderabad..malla rapid test chest -ve and rt pcr ki +ve vachindi...12 hrs gadichaka we should put him on ventilator annaru and I was traveling so my mom said okay...nenu ventilator mede pettaka land ayya so ma dad ni chudaledu other than talking to him on video call when he was being shifted to Hyderabad..he was on ventilator for 6 days fought hard and lost his life....nenu India lo land aina momemt nundi mom pakkane unna and she got so much strength...dad chanipoinapati nundi body tesukune varaku the tension I faced and state I was in was the worst in my life(8PM to 3AM next day and that is a separate story, face chupettykunda wrap chesaru)...ma in-laws hyd lone untaru, my mom was exposed already and tested negative twice and we were reluctant to got to my in-laws place and thought of staying at hotel but they were really great at that time inviting us because we needed enough emotional support....ma dad ni Anantapur tesukelli burial etc chesam(this is separate story again to keep body at house etc obviously contacts and influence worked)....mom ki light cough started, I and my mother in law lost smell and taste and my father in law was down with fever and body pains...so naku ediche time ledu and andaram velli ct scan cheyinchukunnam, father in law and mother ki lung infection undi but my mom was asymptomatic so ma mom ni anantapur lo oka family friend Anna(he is a dr) and he stayed with my mom monitoring her daily and nenu ma in-laws tesukoni hyd velli ma father in law ni enko big corporate lo refer cheyinchukoni join chesa..luckily he survived but he is still recovering with aftermaths since two months...nenu ma mom ni tesukoni vacha 1 month India lo undi formalities anni chusukoni....time should heal her but she is happy that she is with us now.....nenu alochichaledu 6 months undale tarvata ela ani...time will decide what to do at present I thought or had this solution....India lo friends and in-laws tappa oka relative kuda help ki raledu other than giving instructions and suggesting what I should do with my mom karyalu etc....ignored every single f**k and followed my heart

------------------------------------

so bro to my first comment about you being with your mom is highly subjective in nature and I am not judging you or anything as an unknown friend hope you get some emotional support from my story and stay strong...bayam veru badhyata veru...take a wise decision and decide...mi mom n uncle tappakunda kolukuntaru...safety precautions in India are a myth as people don't follow social distancing and stuff like that and another thing my mom, mother in law and I tested negative multiple times only antibody test revealed we had it)...incase if you go don't even remove mask...nenu India lo unna 30 days I kept my mask on indoors and outdoors when people are around...

Sorry for your loss bro ☹️

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2 hours ago, perugu_vada said:

Sorry for ur loss bro, there is personal tragedy in almost every family due to covid

@Assam_Bhayya uncle, i’ve seen these kind of stories alot in this covid time, andhu k i wax reluctant to say it is like flu

Uncle oka thed esthunna.. . motham ee medical world lk galla nu naked chesi chupistha aagu

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2 hours ago, LungiLingaraju said:

Did you cry it out bro ... konchm eduvu .. it is ok ... you will feeL good ... time will cure everything... take care of mom and uncle ... try to get married .. may be your dad will show up as your son .. stay strong 

ee time lo shock tho edupu raadu man..... eppudo one month tarvatha deni gurinchi ma nanna ni adagali ani oka thought vachindapudu start aithaye kanneellu.

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9 hours ago, LifeLoser said:

I am an active long time member in this db. But posting this as a getaway. Extreme stress lo vunnanu. Idi ayina ventane post cheddam ani ID create chesanu. Ippatiki approve ayyindi. There are only few people I love in this life. I had only three people left in this category. My mom, dad, and uncle. They live in India. Unfortunately, I lost my dad to Covid two weeks ago and my mom and uncle are in the hospital with covid. Dad chanipoyarannadi tattukolekapotunnanu. Health issues emi lekunde except sugar. adi kooda control lo vundi. Covid death ani body kooda ivvaledu. He was cremated by GHMC like an orphan. I am stuck in the US all alone. Moodella nundi nenu amma nee taggaraki vachi vuntamura ani adigaaru. Naaku tevaalane vundi kaani, prati summer postpone chesanu because naa career and jeevitham meeda naake santosham ledu. Edo cheyyali ekkadiko vellali aney aasa. Deeni vallane 35 vachina  pelli chesukokunda koorchunna. Pelli chesukora manavallatho aadukovalani vundi ani baaga adigaaru. Now I didn't even get to see him for the last time. He was always there for me in my life. When I met with accident, he was there again to teach me to walk. He feeds me in my mouth even at this age. Tana purse lo roopayi kooda leni time lo naa taggara vandalu vundevi (teens and college kada. Vyasanalu ekkuva). Naaku muppai yellu vachina haddukuni padukune vaadini. Antha kashta padi US pampina, tanani okka saari kooda US teesukuraaledu.. 14yrs avutundi vachi.. I cannot fathom that he is no longer with me and I did not treat him well. Chivari saariga tanani naalugella kritam choosanu. ee nalugellallo voice calls tappithey video chat kooda eppudu cheyaledu. I miss him badly and jeevitham enduko ardham kaatledu. India ki vellalante vanuku vastundi. aa environment dad thone alavatu ayyindi. Ippudu tanu leni chotiki vellalani ledu. My mom and uncle are still in the hospital. I hate myself. I want my dad back.

 

sorry for your loss .....

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@RedThupaki You judged me too early mama. Look at my later responses. I never missed him bro. I love them both. Okka roju kharchu entha pettaru ani alochinchaledu. Almost roju call chesi matladataanu. Visa evadiki kavali bro. Vellipodaam aney anukunna. Kaani nenu USA lo vundalannadi valla kala. Nenu akkada bratakalenu kopam ekkuva ani pampinchesaru. Visa and dabbula gurinchi kaadu. Chinnappati nundi em chesina best avvu. Barre lu pettukunna best paalu and avasaramaina vallaki panchu annaru. Kaani pedda rakamga prapanchaaniki upayoga padu anedi petti pencharu. Prapanchaniki emi cheyyalo telika kottukuntunna. aa frustration loney 20s and 30s gadustunnayi. Amma raavoddu ani cheppinde kaakunda doctor kooda advise chesaru. Nuvvu vachi chesedi ledu. Vallaki mental torture neeku ekkada ekkistaro ani. Malli nenu prayanam lo techina vallani risk lo pedutunnattu. Memu choosukuntamuley annaru. Amma ki other issues vunnayi complicate avutundemo ani. Amma doctor tho roju ide antundi anta. valla kosam intha kashtapaddamu vallaki emanna avute tattukolemu. India ki ravoddu ani.

@csrcsr @Waffle @LadiesTailor @friesNfrappe @nag @Kurrodu1 @Gaali_Gottam_Govinda

 

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10 hours ago, LungiLingaraju said:

Did you cry it out bro ... konchm eduvu .. it is ok ... you will feeL good ... time will cure everything... take care of mom and uncle ... try to get married .. may be your dad will show up as your son .. stay strong 

 

8 hours ago, Kootami said:

ee time lo shock tho edupu raadu man..... eppudo one month tarvatha deni gurinchi ma nanna ni adagali ani oka thought vachindapudu start aithaye kanneellu.

Entha edchina dad gurtostunnaru.. Covid mundu kooda akkada emi leka enni kashtalu padutunnavo ani rendu suitcases ninda food pamparu.. vellinappudu naaku nachevi anni teppinche vallu. time ki tinakunda arogyam paduchesukunta ani vachi notlo kalipi pettevaaru. maa amma pettetappudu kooda vachi inka pettu idi pettu ani plate lo vaddinche vaallu.

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If possible, come to India and stay with ur mom for few days, u will feel better.. dooram ga unte badha perugutundi..manam mother ki strength istamu anukuntam gani, it's other way around..mother can make her kid strong, no matter whatever the situation is.. being a mother I can tell u that.. 

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54 minutes ago, riashli said:

If possible, come to India and stay with ur mom for few days, u will feel better.. dooram ga unte badha perugutundi..manam mother ki strength istamu anukuntam gani, it's other way around..mother can make her kid strong, no matter whatever the situation is.. being a mother I can tell u that.. 

i want to. not for few days but months. Tanu bayataki vaste veltanu.

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Hope your dad rests in peace ,

few things I did not understand in your post, why did you not do any video calls for 4 years? this is unbelievable man , voice is one thing and seeing them live is another thing

bad justification on your part that your parents want you to be in us , can't you convince them that you want to be with them? this is also not believable to be honest 

looking from your answers it appears that you are trying to cope with whatever decisions you have taken in your life that made you reach this point

hope you make wise decisions that make you live life with out regrets from now on

there is nothing like losing someone you love , Sorry for your loss

stay strong for your mother

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