marriage suggestion please

[Mediahypocrisy]

On 6/23/2022 at 12:14 PM, jajjanaka_jandri said:

dating this girl for 6 months.

pros:

she looks good

independent and earns decent

she can relate to what i say and i can make conversations easily with her

 

cons:

had lot of boy friends in the past and did one night stands(over used)

demanding

feminist

financially weak(have 100k debt and want to buy her parents a house)

lazy and unorganized

she is 31 and want kids next year.

she cant hear from one ear

her mom has depression and cant talk properly(no help from her when this girl gets pregnant)

Over used aa?

[Democraticcompulsion]

Made up story la undi. Serious replies!!

Ento le.

[jaathiratnalu]

7 hours ago, jajjanaka_jandri said:

haha naa bhayam kooda ade. Like she will do full drama if I say break up. TV9 lo ochina ascharyaponakkarle

She has seen many persons like you already and she knows how to handle with you. That’s why she is listening your words as of now. But, things will ne be same after marriage. Ikkada pelliayena first few yrs baga vunna ammayle will change after some time and they will try to control husbands by seeing others. And you already said feminism, dominating, lazy .. These are powerful cons in any relationship for a long term . Things will not be same after kids .you don’t have time to yourself only.

Make it clear you will prefer only for Live in,  don’t give commitment for marriage, if you have already given Come out front  that relation ship As soon as possible. 
 

Don’t make your life complicate for the sake of 6 months relationship with too many cons 

[nenesuperni]

1 hour ago, Democraticcompulsion said:

Made up story la undi. Serious replies!!

Ento le.

@jajjanaka_jandri please, nen nijam anukuni chaduvthuna. Already pelli ante bhayam tho unna. Idi nijama kaadha 

[jajjanaka_jandri]

2 hours ago, Democraticcompulsion said:

Made up story la undi. Serious replies!!

Ento le.

No man. I swear

[jajjanaka_jandri]

1 hour ago, nenesuperni said:

@jajjanaka_jandri please, nen nijam anukuni chaduvthuna. Already pelli ante bhayam tho unna. Idi nijama kaadha 

I swear buddy. I have been going to therapy classes aswell. Thought of sharing it here to see how people will advice objectively as I am blinded by the love/attraction.

[Rushabhi]

Having a lot of boyfriends depends on how she is behaving with you right now. Is she comparing you with them or is she taking your relationship seriously?

Demanding and feminism every girl is to an extent like this. But is this coming in between your relationship? Only demanding and not giving is a big con.  Relationship will become a one way street and you will be left deeply unsatisfied. 
 

Lazy and unorganized- bachelor life lo most will be like this. But when we settle down and age we will change. But being 31 and being in a live in, if she is still like this and you are doing most of the household work think twice. Relationship is a partnership. If she is not contributing in any way to household work you will be overwhelmed in future. 

debt is common these days. If she is working and earns good money and you both are fiscally responsible you can come out of debt and can even build house for parents.

Mother not able to help with children is not an issue although if helpful that is a major pro. But parents are not default babysitters and we cannot expect them to.

Being 31 her age is ticking. She may want kids soon. You may or may not want them at this point. Assuming you are older than her you are also not young. But the issue I see is the debt. With that debt kids will be a burden. And waiting longer girl may have problems conceiving. Not 100 percent guaranteed that she will have problems but she may since fertility declines after 35 and rapidly declines after 37. If you decide to marry her I would suggest go to India and do IVF and freeze embryos asap. Not eggs but embryos. 
 

So all of these depends on understanding between you both. You think and decide with a rational mind if you can adjust with her, she can adjust with you in future. And can you picture yourself with her in 10 years with kids and all the responsibilities. My 2 cents

[Raven_Rayes]

sounds like a lovely woman.

especially your description of her as 'overused' should be downright disgusting, but somehow only mildly amusing. says a lot about the kind of sites I've been visiting lately.

reminds me I should get better friends with better standards..

[Raven_Rayes]

frankly dude, if you can't even live by yourself, malli enduku anni conditions restrictions?

evaro okarni pelli cheskoni adjust ayyi pothu undu. perfect girl/guy doesn't exist.. coz relationships can't be engineered.

I don't even understand why people waste their time with marriage or even relationships. but to each their own.

[Raven_Rayes]

59 minutes ago, jajjanaka_jandri said:

I swear buddy. I have been going to therapy classes aswell. Thought of sharing it here to see how people will advice objectively as I am blinded by the love/attraction.

[Raven_Rayes]

risk teeskokunda, debbalu padakunda nerchukovaali antey etla annayya.

samsaara saagaram lo dooku first. taravatha chooskundaam.

ideal is to enjoy your own company, but if you can't do that, inka verey daari ledhu annai.

[Raven_Rayes]

I think consumerist culture valla prathidaanni oka consumer pov lo choosthunnaremo. including relationships. people are being extremely self centered.. may be because they are emotionally vulnerable.

nenaithey, I dont give a fcuk who I date. the only thing I concern myself with is - does this girl enjoy being around me? anthey.. not whether I enjoy being around her.. Its not even a question, coz if I don't I won't even talk to her.

finally I reach the conclusion that 99% girls can't stand me beyond a point, and I refuse to date anyone. I'm perfectly okay with it.

[jaathiratnalu]

23 hours ago, jaathiratnalu said:

@riashli  @Rushabhi.. please provide your valueble suggestions to TS 

 @Rushabhi response vachhindi .seems like well matured response 

waiting for @riashli response... 

 

@jajjanaka_jandri ..check and review your self from @Rushabhi response. 

[meri_zindagi]

1 hour ago, jajjanaka_jandri said:

I swear buddy. I have been going to therapy classes aswell. Thought of sharing it here to see how people will advice objectively as I am blinded by the love/attraction.

Forget and Move on.

People who have multiple relationships can’t settle for one. Vallaki alanti valle set avtaru. Even if you think she has left the past behind and committed to you, therapy classes ki veltunnav antey megalite inka aa pilla.

[jajjanaka_jandri]

On 6/24/2022 at 8:15 PM, Rushabhi said:

Having a lot of boyfriends depends on how she is behaving with you right now. Is she comparing you with them or is she taking your relationship seriously?

Demanding and feminism every girl is to an extent like this. But is this coming in between your relationship? Only demanding and not giving is a big con.  Relationship will become a one way street and you will be left deeply unsatisfied. 
 

Lazy and unorganized- bachelor life lo most will be like this. But when we settle down and age we will change. But being 31 and being in a live in, if she is still like this and you are doing most of the household work think twice. Relationship is a partnership. If she is not contributing in any way to household work you will be overwhelmed in future. 

debt is common these days. If she is working and earns good money and you both are fiscally responsible you can come out of debt and can even build house for parents.

Mother not able to help with children is not an issue although if helpful that is a major pro. But parents are not default babysitters and we cannot expect them to.

Being 31 her age is ticking. She may want kids soon. You may or may not want them at this point. Assuming you are older than her you are also not young. But the issue I see is the debt. With that debt kids will be a burden. And waiting longer girl may have problems conceiving. Not 100 percent guaranteed that she will have problems but she may since fertility declines after 35 and rapidly declines after 37. If you decide to marry her I would suggest go to India and do IVF and freeze embryos asap. Not eggs but embryos. 
 

So all of these depends on understanding between you both. You think and decide with a rational mind if you can adjust with her, she can adjust with you in future. And can you picture yourself with her in 10 years with kids and all the responsibilities. My 2 cents

thanks for the detailed explanation man.I appreciate the effort. Have to think about this for a while in solitude