Lost pretty much everything in divorce (California). Planning to move to Dallas, is it worth it?

[ahimsavaadhi1]

1 hour ago, Iriswest said:

Intha jarigaka Asalu Enduku Malli  pelli chesukovali. 
 

just stay single or just be like French folks . Live in relationship for the rest of the life. 
 

marriage in USA/india is just for people who care about society. 
 

if it’s between two hearts no need to actually go through the marriage as a process. 
 

Make mistake one time , second time it’s stupidity. 

[Vaampire]

35 minutes ago, dkchinnari said:

day 1 nunchi antha prepare ela avutharu asalu? pity asalu... antha preplan is it possible in real life?

 

 

Yaa very possible. My second cousin went through similar tragedy. Aa case lo amey husband inthakanna ekkva planning chesadu

[Sarvapindy]

3 minutes ago, NotSoBusy said:

Ikkada laude ke baal gaallu chesey comments ni don’t take it to heart , mostly labour batch gaallu untaaru atlantollu who put comments without having zero empathy , mostly They’ll be jealous people who can’t even dream about getting big in life , nuvvu 3M and Faang ante jealousy tho back burn ayyi pettey comments avi anni 

ee stone ekkado vinnattunde……i think cutting edge 

[Fish]

13 minutes ago, Beerboob123 said:

Put a case on her for mental harrasement and expose her evil intentions with proofs. Get a good attorney

Kashtam….court only believes in physical evidence….once she gets married again he need not pay her spouse support….hopefully she should be married again

[falconspyder]

36 minutes ago, Vaampire said:

Interesting.. something is missing bro. Dont mean to rub on ur wounds. But she created all the evidence.. then y dint she agree for legal separation. Whafs the missing piece. Why u had to initiate legal separation?

Divorce 101 - legal separation and divorce are two things. Getting legal separation lets a person get married again and move on with his life, file taxes as single or married together if gets married again etc but it doesn't change anything when it comes to divorce like money payments etc.

Most likely reason why she didn't agree for legal separation is to do with her visa. She came to the US as my dependent and I filed for her dependent visa extension (expires in mid 2023) despite divorce (I think her H1B got picked this year). Ex-wife may have feared that she would go out of visa status if she agrees for legal separation.

My reason to get legal separation is it won't affect her in any way (visa or money) and it will let me file taxes as single which is better than filing married separate.

[ahimsavaadhi1]

2 hours ago, falconspyder said:

To all those guys who are making a joke out of my life in this thread.

I lost both parents before marriage and don't have anyone in India. I went to the best comp sci schools in India and did masters from a well known top rated school in the US with 100% funded admit. Ex-wife was behind me for 4/5 years and she tried to reach out to me through various methods - matrimonial websites, mutual friends, relatives in India, brokers. One of my relatives convinced me that my ex-wife is the right one/good family etc (her native place is like a mile from my native) and since I don't have anyone in India or US everyone said she and her family would treat me like a SON.

Dowry - Given my education, work profile and what I make in bay area, do I really give a rat ass about that or do I've anyone to even ask on my behalf? Since you guys judged everything out of my life, feel free to decide however it suits you folks.

My age - I got married when I'm 30. It's just the whole divorce process dragged for 3 yrs in California (Courts LOVE long game, they punish anyone who wants short game). In total I lost like ~5yrs since the date of engagement.

Ex-wife is in touch with a famous divorce attorney in Bay area almost as soon as she landed in Bay area (she submitted the email conv between them as an evidence during the trial to prove to court that abuse is happening since day1 of marriage and she had to get in touch with a divorce attorney). Evidences were collected from day 1 like a detective, framed me like in movie "Gone girl", called cops on me, filed restraining order. I myself was very clueless and lot of things never made sense to me until recently when she shared 4350 pages of evidences, declaration, testimonies, msgs, emails, letters from lot of ppl in India and US who I don't even know. She wrote court briefs on her own and made her attorney ask for things which has 0 probability to stand in court (this is done to purely put pressume to break me) , she asked for a monthly support until my death or her marriage. In total she took me to court for 7 back to back trails (not court hearings) and rejected all settlement meetings and put so much pressure on me and broke me down as a person and gave up to the pressure and finally did the negotiations in the last and final settlement meeting just few days before the final trial (I had to take short term disability to get though my ordeal). I had no one to even ask her or family why she is doing this to me and that relative who convinced me also died due to COVID (my attempts to reach her family were used to file temporary restraining order on me).

Not expecting any sympathy from anyone here who are judging my life that I'm worried about money I lost - these are the things there is little meaning in my life. I've pretty much become like a rock without any emotions, just trying to channel my time and energy into work.

Mods, I would really appreciate if guys can close and delete this read. I recently got out of from a big mess and I just want to be peaceful and don't want to get judged by random ppl. Given that I've seen in this thread, blind would be even more polluted passing judgements by random folks.

Bro I’m really  that you went through all of this if it’s genuine. 
 

You have a right to be happy and I wish you all the best for future.

lot of peace and happiness going forward. 
 

make changes to lifestyle and make true friends and if you have any siblings make sure you are close to them and be there for them. 
 

 

[NotSoBusy]

4 minutes ago, Sarvapindy said:

ee stone ekkado vinnattunde……i think cutting edge 

Means what Anna , I dint understand 

[veerigadu]

First of all, you seem to be very talented and you have skills. With all this legal issues you don’t have life here in vomericaaa anymore. Move to some other country and start everything from scratch. One you can still make 80% of what you make here and yet you can evade all this spousal support crap. 

  if you really wanted to stay here then working on consulting jobs for a couple of years and run your pay cheques for much lower value than what you really make. It’s clear she is after your money.

Don’t let her take more from you. Eventually she will marry someone and you will be fine. Since you don’t have kids with her. You should be able to get away from this crap very soon. ATB

[Iriswest]

15 minutes ago, ahimsavaadhi1 said:

Intha jarigaka Asalu Enduku Malli  pelli chesukovali. 
 

just stay single or just be like French folks . Live in relationship for the rest of the life. 
 

marriage in USA/india is just for people who care about society. 
 

if it’s between two hearts no need to actually go through the marriage as a process. 
 

Make mistake one time , second time it’s stupidity. 

Ts choice. But livein will complicate things if you have kids. Just my opinion.

[NotSoBusy]

4 minutes ago, veerigadu said:

First of all, you seem to be very talented and you have skills. With all this legal issues you don’t have life here in vomericaaa anymore. Move to some other country and start everything from scratch. One you can still make 80% of what you make here and yet you can evade all this spousal support crap. 

  if you really wanted to stay here then working on consulting jobs for a couple of years and run your pay cheques for much lower value than what you really make. It’s clear she is after your money.

Don’t let her take more from you. Eventually she will marry someone and you will be fine. 
 

I actually know a girl who got separated and still takes the monthly cheques from my cousin despite being married again , okka photo ledu from her new wedding and their marriage isn’t registered in the US , and veedu PD ni petti US lo evidences kosam try chesthey she claimed it’s just her live in Partner .

She’s pure psycho pro max , she got to know that my cousin has actually started going out with a very pretty girl and actually called him saying she’s pregnant and she’s not happy and the hubby is abusing her ( which is actually false btw ) , she doesn’t want him to be happy at all costs , psycho di

[veerigadu]

3 minutes ago, NotSoBusy said:

I actually know a girl who got separated and still takes the monthly cheques from my cousin despite being married again , okka photo ledu from her new wedding and veedu PD ni petti US lo evidences kosam try chesthey she claimed it’s just her live in Partner 

She is smart. Why will she lose free money by officially marrying another bf. Anduke pay cheque low ga run cheyyali…. First paisal cut chestheee mondaaa luuuu dharikiii vastharuuu. In the process couple of years slack phase thappadhuuuu. 

[Telugodura456]

Short term marriage lo aasthi pampakaal peddaga undave. Sounds like a troll post.

[NotSoBusy]

Just now, veerigadu said:

She is smart. Why will she lose free money by officially marrying another bf. Anduke pay cheque low ga run cheyyali…. First paisal cut chestheee mondaaa luuuu dharikiii vastharuuu. In the process couple of years slack phase thappadhuuuu. 

Problem is actually with this fellow also, adi antha chesina he still tried to help her thinking whatever she was saying was true 

[veerigadu]

Just now, NotSoBusy said:

Problem is actually with this fellow also, adi antha chesina he still tried to help her thinking whatever she was saying was true 

Yeah ninjaaalaniiiii handleee seyyaliii anteee talent thooo patuuuu tacticeeee kudaaa undaliii. Lekapotheee M kudipestharuuuu labor moon da luuuu

[NotSoBusy]

Just now, veerigadu said:

Yeah ninjaaalaniiiii handleee seyyaliii anteee talent thooo patuuuu tacticeeee kudaaa undaliii. Lekapotheee M kudipestharuuuu labor moon da luuuu

Yeah no doubt , especially because the laws are all usually in their favor and they know it very well