Lost pretty much everything in divorce (California). Planning to move to Dallas, is it worth it?

[Vaampire]

9 minutes ago, falconspyder said:

To all those guys who are making a joke out of my life in this thread.

I lost both parents before marriage and don't have anyone in India. I went to the best comp sci schools in India and did masters from a well known top rated school in the US with 100% funded admit. Ex-wife was behind me for 4/5 years and she tried to reach out to me through various methods - matrimonial websites, mutual friends, relatives in India, brokers. One of my relatives convinced me that my ex-wife is the right one/good family etc (her native place is like a mile from my native) and since I don't have anyone in India or US everyone said she and her family would treat me like a SON.

Dowry - Given my education, work profile and what I make in bay area, do I really give a rat ass about that or do I've anyone to even ask on my behalf? Since you guys judged everything out of my life, feel free to decide however it suits you folks.

My age - I got married when I'm 30. It's just the whole divorce process dragged for 3 yrs in California (Courts LOVE long game, they punish anyone who wants short game). In total I lost like ~5yrs since the date of engagement.

Ex-wife is in touch with a famous divorce attorney in Bay area almost as soon as she landed in Bay area (she submitted the email conv between them as an evidence during the trial to prove to court that abuse is happening since day1 of marriage and she had to get in touch with a divorce attorney). Evidences were collected from day 1 like a detective, framed me like in movie "Gone girl", called cops on me, filed restraining order. I myself was very clueless and lot of things never made sense to me until recently when she shared 4350 pages of evidences, declaration, testimonies, msgs, emails, letters from lot of ppl in India and US who I don't even know. She wrote court briefs on her own and made her attorney ask for things which has 0 probability to stand in court (this is done to purely put pressume to break me) , she asked for a monthly support until my death or her marriage. In total she took me to court for 7 back to back trails (not court hearings) and rejected all settlement meetings and put so much pressure on me and broke me down as a person and gave up to the pressure and finally did the negotiations in the last and final settlement meeting just few days before the final trial (I had to take short term disability to get though my ordeal). I had no one to even ask her or family why she is doing this to me and that relative who convinced me also died due to COVID (my attempts to reach her family were used to file temporary restraining order on me).

Not expecting any sympathy from anyone here who are judging my life that I'm worried about money I lost - these are the things there is little meaning in my life. I've been pretty much become like a rock without any emotions, just trying to channel my time and energy into work.

Mods, I would really appreciate if guys can close and delete this read. I recently got out of from a big mess and I just want to be peaceful and don't want to get judged by random ppl.

Feel  for you.

is there anyway you can appeal on the settlement…

even if people think ur doing this for saving ur money, dont get bothered. Its ur hard earned money and you have every right to save it.

going by ur description, its very well planned and executed by ur ex. If u have to pay her even in unvested stocks,  that and take a low paying job. 
 

wait patiently… who knows u may get a chance to sue her in future

[Beerboob123]

14 minutes ago, falconspyder said:

To all those guys who are making a joke out of my life in this thread.

I lost both parents before marriage and don't have anyone in India. I went to the best comp sci schools in India and did masters from a well known top rated school in the US with 100% funded admit. Ex-wife was behind me for 4/5 years and she tried to reach out to me through various methods - matrimonial websites, mutual friends, relatives in India, brokers. One of my relatives convinced me that my ex-wife is the right one/good family etc (her native place is like a mile from my native) and since I don't have anyone in India or US everyone said she and her family would treat me like a SON.

Dowry - Given my education, work profile and what I make in bay area, do I really give a rat ass about that or do I've anyone to even ask on my behalf? Since you guys judged everything out of my life, feel free to decide however it suits you folks.

My age - I got married when I'm 30. It's just the whole divorce process dragged for 3 yrs in California (Courts LOVE long game, they punish anyone who wants short game). In total I lost like ~5yrs since the date of engagement.

Ex-wife is in touch with a famous divorce attorney in Bay area almost as soon as she landed in Bay area (she submitted the email conv between them as an evidence during the trial to prove to court that abuse is happening since day1 of marriage and she had to get in touch with a divorce attorney). Evidences were collected from day 1 like a detective, framed me like in movie "Gone girl", called cops on me, filed restraining order. I myself was very clueless and lot of things never made sense to me until recently when she shared 4350 pages of evidences, declaration, testimonies, msgs, emails, letters from lot of ppl in India and US who I don't even know. She wrote court briefs on her own and made her attorney ask for things which has 0 probability to stand in court (this is done to purely put pressume to break me) , she asked for a monthly support until my death or her marriage. In total she took me to court for 7 back to back trails (not court hearings) and rejected all settlement meetings and put so much pressure on me and broke me down as a person and gave up to the pressure and finally did the negotiations in the last and final settlement meeting just few days before the final trial (I had to take short term disability to get though my ordeal). I had no one to even ask her or family why she is doing this to me and that relative who convinced me also died due to COVID (my attempts to reach her family were used to file temporary restraining order on me).

Not expecting any sympathy from anyone here who are judging my life that I'm worried about money I lost - these are the things there is little meaning in my life. I've been pretty much become like a rock without any emotions, just trying to channel my time and energy into work.

Mods, I would really appreciate if guys can close and delete this read. I recently got out of from a big mess and I just want to be peaceful and don't want to get judged by random ppl.

Dude don’t worry, focus on your work as you seem to be a talented and a smart guy, don’t waste time on useless things and people. Focus, focus and focus.
If you got friends in bay area, hangout or chill and enjoy your life man!! 
don’t let ***g people decide your life like my friend @BeerBob123 always says!!

[JollyReddy]

21 minutes ago, falconspyder said:

To all those guys who are making a joke out of my life in this thread.

I lost both parents before marriage and don't have anyone in India. I went to the best comp sci schools in India and did masters from a well known top rated school in the US with 100% funded admit. Ex-wife was behind me for 4/5 years and she tried to reach out to me through various methods - matrimonial websites, mutual friends, relatives in India, brokers. One of my relatives convinced me that my ex-wife is the right one/good family etc (her native place is like a mile from my native) and since I don't have anyone in India or US everyone said she and her family would treat me like a SON.

Dowry - Given my education, work profile and what I make in bay area, do I really give a rat ass about that or do I've anyone to even ask on my behalf? Since you guys judged everything out of my life, feel free to decide however it suits you folks.

My age - I got married when I'm 30. It's just the whole divorce process dragged for 3 yrs in California (Courts LOVE long game, they punish anyone who wants short game). In total I lost like ~5yrs since the date of engagement.

Ex-wife is in touch with a famous divorce attorney in Bay area almost as soon as she landed in Bay area (she submitted the email conv between them as an evidence during the trial to prove to court that abuse is happening since day1 of marriage and she had to get in touch with a divorce attorney). Evidences were collected from day 1 like a detective, framed me like in movie "Gone girl", called cops on me, filed restraining order. I myself was very clueless and lot of things never made sense to me until recently when she shared 4350 pages of evidences, declaration, testimonies, msgs, emails, letters from lot of ppl in India and US who I don't even know. She wrote court briefs on her own and made her attorney ask for things which has 0 probability to stand in court (this is done to purely put pressume to break me) , she asked for a monthly support until my death or her marriage. In total she took me to court for 7 back to back trails (not court hearings) and rejected all settlement meetings and put so much pressure on me and broke me down as a person and gave up to the pressure and finally did the negotiations in the last and final settlement meeting just few days before the final trial (I had to take short term disability to get though my ordeal). I had no one to even ask her or family why she is doing this to me and that relative who convinced me also died due to COVID (my attempts to reach her family were used to file temporary restraining order on me).

Not expecting any sympathy from anyone here who are judging my life that I'm worried about money I lost - these are the things there is little meaning in my life. I've pretty much become like a rock without any emotions, just trying to channel my time and energy into work.

Mods, I would really appreciate if guys can close and delete this read. I recently got out of from a big mess and I just want to be peaceful and don't want to get judged by random ppl. Given that I've seen in this thread, blind would be even more polluted passing judgements by random folks.

 

13 hours ago, falconspyder said:

I work as an eng manager in FAANG companies in the Bay area and have ~14-16yrs exp. Recently lost pretty much everything including 401k due to heated divorce (California) despite short term marriage and no kids.

I was talking to a friend in Dallas and it feels like it's a more relaxed and better lifestyle over there compared to the Bay area and most of the houses are looking like resorts. I'm pretty much restarting my life from scratch, does it make sense to move to Dallas?

Folks who moved to Dallas, how is it over there? How is your lifestyle in Dallas compared to Bay area.

I worked for FAANG entire career and also currently doing an executive MBA from Wharton. Will my career stagnate if I relocate to Dallas?

 

[BeerBob123]

3 hours ago, Beerboob123 said:

Relax bro bitchadhaniki daanam padeysina ani think.I wish you will be blessed with double the amount you lost and a good person in life cc @BeerBob123

Agreed ba

[Rushabhi]

Are you still supposed to pay spousal support? What happens if you take a low paying job? Is there a requirement that you need to pay certain amount? 
 

[Swatkat]

@falconspyder  bro. Karma is a biatch. Parents lerani chudakuna advantage teskundhi intha kshoba pettindhi ninnu one day she will get back. And nuvvu anni marchipoyi happy ga malla enjoy life.

[JollyReddy]

7 minutes ago, Beerboob123 said:

Dude don’t worry, focus on your work as you seem to be a talented and a smart guy, don’t waste time on useless things and people. Focus, focus and focus.
If you got friends in bay area, hangout or chill and enjoy your life man!! 
don’t let ***g people decide your life like my friend @BeerBob123 always says!!

he is already strong anta.. all he wants to know if dallas ela untundi.. 

[Beerboob123]

3 minutes ago, JollyReddy said:

he is already strong anta.. all he wants to know if dallas ela untundi.. 

jai ballaya

[Swatkat]

20 minutes ago, Beerboob123 said:

Calling idiot @anna_vendy cum and see this idiot

 @anna_vendy inkoka comment chesthy edane pandavedtha

[falconspyder]

24 minutes ago, Vaampire said:

Feel  for you.

is there anyway you can appeal on the settlement…

even if people think ur doing this for saving ur money, dont get bothered. Its ur hard earned money and you have every right to save it.

going by ur description, its very well planned and executed by ur ex. If u have to pay her even in unvested stocks,  that and take a low paying job. 
 

wait patiently… who knows u may get a chance to sue her in future

I caved in due to extreme pressure and that's the reason I had to agree to big nums during the final settlement meeting. She made me sign a stipulation order that I won't appeal in court, go near her, or reach out to her parents, give up jewelry worth 50k (small compared to other things I'm paying her)  I was made to give her during the engagement.

I don't have a knack of remembering every small thing due to many things that happened in my life. I really don't have any strength or mental capacity, I just want to be alone and peaceful. Felt like my life was getting started after marriage and I'll have my own family (which I never had before) but everything snatched from my hands.

Waiting for my 180 day thing (AOS application) to move out but the max damage is already done and stipulation orders are signed, money and stocks are getting transferred as we speak.

Last two years I made little more than $650k and I felt like I'm punished for making that money in court by the Judge - B**o*e B**c**r. Every single dollar is taken away by taxes, attorneys, forensic accountant, ex-wife.

Ex-wife didn't agree for legal separation and she made me file taxes as married separate which is worse than single status and that also damaged me in taxes.

[Rushabhi]

42 minutes ago, falconspyder said:

To all those guys who are making a joke out of my life in this thread.

I lost both parents before marriage and don't have anyone in India. I went to the best comp sci schools in India and did masters from a well known top rated school in the US with 100% funded admit. Ex-wife was behind me for 4/5 years and she tried to reach out to me through various methods - matrimonial websites, mutual friends, relatives in India, brokers. One of my relatives convinced me that my ex-wife is the right one/good family etc (her native place is like a mile from my native) and since I don't have anyone in India or US everyone said she and her family would treat me like a SON.

Dowry - Given my education, work profile and what I make in bay area, do I really give a rat ass about that or do I've anyone to even ask on my behalf? Since you guys judged everything out of my life, feel free to decide however it suits you folks.

My age - I got married when I'm 30. It's just the whole divorce process dragged for 3 yrs in California (Courts LOVE long game, they punish anyone who wants short game). In total I lost like ~5yrs since the date of engagement.

Ex-wife is in touch with a famous divorce attorney in Bay area almost as soon as she landed in Bay area (she submitted the email conv between them as an evidence during the trial to prove to court that abuse is happening since day1 of marriage and she had to get in touch with a divorce attorney). Evidences were collected from day 1 like a detective, framed me like in movie "Gone girl", called cops on me, filed restraining order. I myself was very clueless and lot of things never made sense to me until recently when she shared 4350 pages of evidences, declaration, testimonies, msgs, emails, letters from lot of ppl in India and US who I don't even know. She wrote court briefs on her own and made her attorney ask for things which has 0 probability to stand in court (this is done to purely put pressume to break me) , she asked for a monthly support until my death or her marriage. In total she took me to court for 7 back to back trails (not court hearings) and rejected all settlement meetings and put so much pressure on me and broke me down as a person and gave up to the pressure and finally did the negotiations in the last and final settlement meeting just few days before the final trial (I had to take short term disability to get though my ordeal). I had no one to even ask her or family why she is doing this to me and that relative who convinced me also died due to COVID (my attempts to reach her family were used to file temporary restraining order on me).

Not expecting any sympathy from anyone here who are judging my life that I'm worried about money I lost - these are the things there is little meaning in my life. I've pretty much become like a rock without any emotions, just trying to channel my time and energy into work.

Mods, I would really appreciate if guys can close and delete this read. I recently got out of from a big mess and I just want to be peaceful and don't want to get judged by random ppl. Given that I've seen in this thread, blind would be even more polluted passing judgements by random folks.

Bold chesina daaniki (if whatever you say is true) one probable reason is to extract money from you. They may not be as rich as you think.
Gender reverse chesthe same thing happened to a person I know. Well planned marriage just to fleece the family.
Papam that person still did not recover. Do whatever you can to get over the marriage. 

[odhu_le_macha]

2 hours ago, Raja_Returns said:

dallas ki move ayi e app isntall chesuko kaka

నేటి కాలంలో డేటింగ్ అనేది సమయానుకూలంగా ఉండదు. మార్కెట్ లో ఒంటరిగా ఉండే వివిధ వయసుల వారి కోసం యాప్లు రూపొందించబడ్డాయి. వారితోనే ఆ యాప్స్ నిండిపోయాయి. తాజాగా అమెరికాలోని భారతీయుల కోసం  'ఆంటీ నోస్ బెస్ట్' అనే పదబంధానికి అనుగుణంగా టెక్సాస్కు చెందిన భారతీయ-అమెరికన్ సీరియల్ వ్యవస్థాపకుడు రాధా పటేల్ దక్షిణాసియాకు చెందిన ఒంటరి పురుషులు/మహిళలు.. వారి కుటుంబాల కోసం ఉద్దేశించిన టెక్-ఆధారిత డేటింగ్ సేవ కోసం 'ది ఆంటీ నెట్వర్క్'ని ప్రారంభించారు.

 ఆన్లైన్ మ్యాచ్ మేకింగ్ పోర్టల్ అనేది ఉత్తర అమెరికాలోని భారతీయుల కోసం ఏర్పాటు చేసిన డేటింగ్ యాప్ ఇది. శ్రేయోభిలాషులైన స్నేహితులు.. కుటుంబ సభ్యులు ఈ డేటింగ్ యాప్ని సులభతరం చేస్తారు. జీవితకాల సాంగత్యానికి దారితీసే పరిచయాలను పెంపొందించడం ద్వారా వారి ఒంటరి  వివాహ ప్రక్రియను సులభతరం చేస్తారు.

కొన్ని దశాబ్దాలుగా ప్రపంచంలోని సంబంధాలు చూసే ఆంటీలు (నెట్ఫ్లిక్స్లో భారతీయ మ్యాచ్మేకింగ్ చేసేవారు) కాబోయే జీవిత భాగస్వాములకు ఒంటరి పురుషులు మరియు మహిళలను పరిచయం చేయడానికి నెట్వర్క్లను ఉపయోగించారు. అందుకే దీనికి   ఆంటీ నెట్వర్క్ అని పేరు పెట్టానని వ్యవస్థాపకుడు.. సీఈవో  పటేల్ తెలిపారు.

ఉత్తర అమెరికా అంతటా ఉన్న ఒంటరి భారతీయుల కోసం చివరికి ప్రపంచవ్యాప్తంగా ఉన్న వారికి కూడా ఈ  సింగిల్స్ నెట్వర్క్ను తెరవడానికి సిమా ఆంటీల అనుభవాన్ని ఉపయోగించాలనే ఆలోచనతో ఈ పనిచేసినట్టు పటేల్ తెలిపారు. డిజిటల్గా ఏర్పాటు చేసిన వివాహం ఆలోచనతో సుఖంగా లేని భారతీయ సింగిల్స్ కోసం సురక్షితమైన  అధునాతన గ్రామాన్ని అందించడానికి ఇది ఒక వేదిక అని నెట్వర్క్ చెబుతోంది.

మొదటి దశలో తల్లిదండ్రుల ఖాతాను తయారు చేయడం. ఆపై స్థానం సంఘం మరియు అనేక ఇతర శోధన ఎంపికల వారీగా అర్హత గల సరిపోలికలను కనుగొనవలసి ఉంటుంది. అమ్మానాన్నలు ఆంటీలను కలవడం మూడో అడుగు.

నాలుగో దశలో పిల్లల కోసం  పెళ్లిసంబంధాలను సిఫార్సు చేయడం ముఖ్యమైంది. ఈ ఆంటీ నెట్వర్క్ ప్రస్తుతం అమెరికాలో  లైవ్లో ఉంది. కుటుంబ సభ్యులు ఒక నెల ట్రయల్ కోసం ఉచితంగా సైన్ అప్ చేసుకోవచ్చు. నచ్చితే మంచి భాగస్వామిని ఎంచుకొని డేటింగ్ చేయవచ్చు. ఈ ఆంటీ నెట్ వర్క్ ఇప్పుడు అమెరికాలో వైరల్ అవుతోంది.

any luck bro?

[hydusguy]

11 minutes ago, falconspyder said:

I caved in due to extreme pressure and that's the reason I had to agree to big nums during the final settlement meeting. She made me sign a stipulation order that I won't appeal in court, go near her, or reach out to her parents, give up jewelry worth 50k (small compared to other things I'm paying her)  I was made to give her during the engagement.

I don't have a knack of remembering every small thing due to many things that happened in my life. I really don't have any strength or mental capacity, I just want to be alone and peaceful. Felt like my life was getting started after marriage and I'll have my own family (which I never had before) but everything snatched from my hands.

Waiting for my 180 day thing (AOS application) to move out but the max damage is already done and stipulation orders are signed, money and stocks are getting transferred as we speak.

Last two years I made little more than $650k and I felt like I'm punished for making that money in court by the Judge - B**o*e B**c**r. Every single dollar is taken away by taxes, attorneys, forensic accountant, ex-wife.

Ex-wife didn't agree for legal separation and she made me file taxes as married separate which is worse than single status and that also damaged me in taxes.

seems all pre planned

[ramabeer]

13 hours ago, falconspyder said:

I work as an eng manager in FAANG companies in the Bay area and have ~14-16yrs exp. Recently lost pretty much everything including 401k due to heated divorce (California) despite short term marriage and no kids.

I was talking to a friend in Dallas and it feels like it's a more relaxed and better lifestyle over there compared to the Bay area and most of the houses are looking like resorts. I'm pretty much restarting my life from scratch, does it make sense to move to Dallas?

Folks who moved to Dallas, how is it over there? How is your lifestyle in Dallas compared to Bay area.

I worked for FAANG entire career and also currently doing an executive MBA from Wharton. Will my career stagnate if I relocate to Dallas?

Moving to Dallas will be the worst decision after divorce. People here may make u feel suicidal with their words/ actions/ demoralized behavior 

[odhu_le_macha]

13 hours ago, falconspyder said:

I work as an eng manager in FAANG companies in the Bay area and have ~14-16yrs exp. Recently lost pretty much everything including 401k due to heated divorce (California) despite short term marriage and no kids.

I was talking to a friend in Dallas and it feels like it's a more relaxed and better lifestyle over there compared to the Bay area and most of the houses are looking like resorts. I'm pretty much restarting my life from scratch, does it make sense to move to Dallas?

Folks who moved to Dallas, how is it over there? How is your lifestyle in Dallas compared to Bay area.

I worked for FAANG entire career and also currently doing an executive MBA from Wharton. Will my career stagnate if I relocate to Dallas?

Next time aina prenup sign cheyinchuko bro