Desire to return to India - faux nostalgia? An analogy.

[Tyrannosauraus_Rex]

When I was young - for every summer vacation we used to go to Rajahmundry, Kakinada and other small villages and towns in Andhra Pradesh. Although I am from Hyderabad - most of my relatives were/are from Andhra.

One of the relatives I loved really loved - was my Mavayya - my mother's younger brother. 

My affection for my uncle was so strong that I used to dream about the vacation almost a month in advance. He was a strongly built man, kind, showered immense love on our family and essentially I looked up to him.

It was one of those summer vacations when I was in Rajahmundry -and one evening my uncle and I went to a vegetable market. It rained pretty heavily earlier and we stepped out once the rains relented.

Ala nadusthu nenu  -  "Mavayya, varsham padinappudu Rajahmundry inka entha andamga undo kada" - 

To this my uncle's response was brutally sarcastic and I still remember it to this day.

He said "Orai, neeku naa meeda unna abhimaanamtho -naaku relatedga unna anni vishayaalu neeku andamga anipisthunnayi. 

"Neekemo varshamlo Rajahmundry andamga kanipisthundi - kaani naakemo road meda burada, domalu, open drainage meeda pandulu, nuvvu vesukunna hawai chappals valla nuvvu nadusthunnapudu aa chappals lonchi burada ni venkala shirt meeda padadam, nee aa burada shirt ni uthakaleka attayya padey kastaalu,  kaaseptalo current pothey vacchey ikkatlu - ivvani kanipisthunnai.

"Nuvveymo current pothey ee kovvathula veluthurulo mee illu entha bavundi mavayya antaavu - nenemo nee gurinchi mosquito net ready chesthuntey".

"Crux of the matter enti antey - neeku ivvani andamga, teeyaga anipisthayi endukantey - subconsciously you know in the heart of your hearts that you are only going to stay here for a week or two- you are actually not going to experience or live here in Rajahmundry on a permanent basis. So, intha short stay lo nee emotions anni baaga condense ayipoyi anni adbhuthamga, anni andamga anipisthayi. Adey nuvvu Hyderabad vadilesi puurthi ga Rajahmundry shift aithey nee paata verey laaga untundi.  Aina neeku ivvani ippudu artham kaavu - you will remember this conversation in the future.

 

My uncle died a few years later after that conversation and I was devastated. Kaani naaku chaala years taruvatha artham ayyindi what he actually meant ani.

 

Kontha mandi friends -  India vellinappudu for a few weeks - prathidi chaala nostalgic ga, andamga anipisthundi but maybe because they know they are not actually going to stay there permanently. They are secure in the knowledge that they will back in the US after a few weeks/months.

Asalu nijam ga antha India antey istam untey - asalu India vadilivelley vaallamey kadu kada. I still remember my Dad's tears at the airport when I first left India.

I am not saying that the nostalgic feeling we get is not genuine but I am convinced that some people get that strong feeling because they know they are actually not going to stay in India. I mean imagine- for example -  their true feelings while they are lamenting/longing about India - they got news that they got deported or their GC got canceled. Appudu nostalgia antha pooyi, India lo undey corruption, police brutality, politics, relatives tho lolli - ivvani gurthu vasthayi - if you were to stay back in India permanently.

So all those people who are in the US - count your lucky stars - you are in a much better country than India. And the fact that you chose to leave India is evidence of it.

Either way it was my uncle's death anniversary recently and I remembered that conversation in Rajahmundry all those years ago - just wanted to share it with you guys.

 

 

 

[Kakynada]

[nosugarplease]

eesari India trip was very hard hitting.. 

- parents aging and what are next steps anedhi konchem serious ayyindi topic
- before trips puporse was marriage or function or bday or quick trip or visa issue - ee sari only purpose was spending time and living with them and involved in their day-to-day life  - no vacation trips/just daily grind
- ee trip lo confirm ayndhi, India ki move kalenu ani, be it money or other factors but at the same time this decision has huge impact - how to cater for aging parents or what if one of them passes away etc.. (beacuse hearing more deaths in friends parents now)

- US ki vachaka ekkadki vachanu ra ani feeling potha ledhu inka.. came lonely first , then family came later. 
- visiting after 5 long year or staying long like 2.5 months - between these two which one was the major reson dont know - but edo different vundhi ee sari trip

- okate positive - friends/relatives aythe re-connect ayyindru since was able to spend more time with them this time..

 

[bhaigan]

[JambaKrantu]

20 cr+ Money unte India pondi.. Life will be luxury, you never have to drive, never have to cook..

lekapote mooskuni ikkade dobbinchukondi

daaniki inta essays waste

[pakeer_saab]

4 hours ago, Tyrannosauraus_Rex said:

When I was young - for every summer vacation we used to go to Rajahmundry, Kakinada and other small villages and towns in Andhra Pradesh. Although I am from Hyderabad - most of my relatives were/are from Andhra.

One of the relatives I loved really loved - was my Mavayya - my mother's younger brother. 

My affection for my uncle was so strong that I used to dream about the vacation almost a month in advance. He was a strongly built man, kind, showered immense love on our family and essentially I looked up to him.

It was one of those summer vacations when I was in Rajahmundry -and one evening my uncle and I went to a vegetable market. It rained pretty heavily earlier and we stepped out once the rains relented.

Ala nadusthu nenu  -  "Mavayya, varsham padinappudu Rajahmundry inka entha andamga undo kada" - 

To this my uncle's response was brutally sarcastic and I still remember it to this day.

He said "Orai, neeku naa meeda unna abhimaanamtho -naaku relatedga unna anni vishayaalu neeku andamga anipisthunnayi. 

"Neekemo varshamlo Rajahmundry andamga kanipisthundi - kaani naakemo road meda burada, domalu, open drainage meeda pandulu, nuvvu vesukunna hawai chappals valla nuvvu nadusthunnapudu aa chappals lonchi burada ni venkala shirt meeda padadam, nee aa burada shirt ni uthakaleka attayya padey kastaalu,  kaaseptalo current pothey vacchey ikkatlu - ivvani kanipisthunnai.

"Nuvveymo current pothey ee kovvathula veluthurulo mee illu entha bavundi mavayya antaavu - nenemo nee gurinchi mosquito net ready chesthuntey".

"Crux of the matter enti antey - neeku ivvani andamga, teeyaga anipisthayi endukantey - subconsciously you know in the heart of your hearts that you are only going to stay here for a week or two- you are actually not going to experience or live here in Rajahmundry on a permanent basis. So, intha short stay lo nee emotions anni baaga condense ayipoyi anni adbhuthamga, anni andamga anipisthayi. Adey nuvvu Hyderabad vadilesi puurthi ga Rajahmundry shift aithey nee paata verey laaga untundi.  Aina neeku ivvani ippudu artham kaavu - you will remember this conversation in the future.

 

My uncle died a few years later after that conversation and I was devastated. Kaani naaku chaala years taruvatha artham ayyindi what he actually meant ani.

 

Kontha mandi friends -  India vellinappudu for a few weeks - prathidi chaala nostalgic ga, andamga anipisthundi but maybe because they know they are not actually going to stay there permanently. They are secure in the knowledge that they will back in the US after a few weeks/months.

Asalu nijam ga antha India antey istam untey - asalu India vadilivelley vaallamey kadu kada. I still remember my Dad's tears at the airport when I first left India.

I am not saying that the nostalgic feeling we get is not genuine but I am convinced that some people get that strong feeling because they know they are actually not going to stay in India. I mean imagine- for example -  their true feelings while they are lamenting/longing about India - they got news that they got deported or their GC got canceled. Appudu nostalgia antha pooyi, India lo undey corruption, police brutality, politics, relatives tho lolli - ivvani gurthu vasthayi - if you were to stay back in India permanently.

So all those people who are in the US - count your lucky stars - you are in a much better country than India. And the fact that you chose to leave India is evidence of it.

Either way it was my uncle's death anniversary recently and I remembered that conversation in Rajahmundry all those years ago - just wanted to share it with you guys.

 

 

 

what appears to be a boon now will become a bane in future and vice versa

now apply the above sentence and remember me after 15 yrs that your arrival into US should not have occured, once you age you will start seeing the monotonous life in US and you start missing india

 

[Sarvapindy]

4 hours ago, Tyrannosauraus_Rex said:

When I was young - for every summer vacation we used to go to Rajahmundry, Kakinada and other small villages and towns in Andhra Pradesh. Although I am from Hyderabad - most of my relatives were/are from Andhra.

One of the relatives I loved really loved - was my Mavayya - my mother's younger brother. 

My affection for my uncle was so strong that I used to dream about the vacation almost a month in advance. He was a strongly built man, kind, showered immense love on our family and essentially I looked up to him.

It was one of those summer vacations when I was in Rajahmundry -and one evening my uncle and I went to a vegetable market. It rained pretty heavily earlier and we stepped out once the rains relented.

Ala nadusthu nenu  -  "Mavayya, varsham padinappudu Rajahmundry inka entha andamga undo kada" - 

To this my uncle's response was brutally sarcastic and I still remember it to this day.

He said "Orai, neeku naa meeda unna abhimaanamtho -naaku relatedga unna anni vishayaalu neeku andamga anipisthunnayi. 

"Neekemo varshamlo Rajahmundry andamga kanipisthundi - kaani naakemo road meda burada, domalu, open drainage meeda pandulu, nuvvu vesukunna hawai chappals valla nuvvu nadusthunnapudu aa chappals lonchi burada ni venkala shirt meeda padadam, nee aa burada shirt ni uthakaleka attayya padey kastaalu,  kaaseptalo current pothey vacchey ikkatlu - ivvani kanipisthunnai.

"Nuvveymo current pothey ee kovvathula veluthurulo mee illu entha bavundi mavayya antaavu - nenemo nee gurinchi mosquito net ready chesthuntey".

"Crux of the matter enti antey - neeku ivvani andamga, teeyaga anipisthayi endukantey - subconsciously you know in the heart of your hearts that you are only going to stay here for a week or two- you are actually not going to experience or live here in Rajahmundry on a permanent basis. So, intha short stay lo nee emotions anni baaga condense ayipoyi anni adbhuthamga, anni andamga anipisthayi. Adey nuvvu Hyderabad vadilesi puurthi ga Rajahmundry shift aithey nee paata verey laaga untundi.  Aina neeku ivvani ippudu artham kaavu - you will remember this conversation in the future.

 

My uncle died a few years later after that conversation and I was devastated. Kaani naaku chaala years taruvatha artham ayyindi what he actually meant ani.

 

Kontha mandi friends -  India vellinappudu for a few weeks - prathidi chaala nostalgic ga, andamga anipisthundi but maybe because they know they are not actually going to stay there permanently. They are secure in the knowledge that they will back in the US after a few weeks/months.

Asalu nijam ga antha India antey istam untey - asalu India vadilivelley vaallamey kadu kada. I still remember my Dad's tears at the airport when I first left India.

I am not saying that the nostalgic feeling we get is not genuine but I am convinced that some people get that strong feeling because they know they are actually not going to stay in India. I mean imagine- for example -  their true feelings while they are lamenting/longing about India - they got news that they got deported or their GC got canceled. Appudu nostalgia antha pooyi, India lo undey corruption, police brutality, politics, relatives tho lolli - ivvani gurthu vasthayi - if you were to stay back in India permanently.

So all those people who are in the US - count your lucky stars - you are in a much better country than India. And the fact that you chose to leave India is evidence of it.

Either way it was my uncle's death anniversary recently and I remembered that conversation in Rajahmundry all those years ago - just wanted to share it with you guys.

 

 

 

anduke yearly oka 2,3 months india trip pothe e lolli undadh....but ee visa job kids lolli tho adi andariki not possible....

[Sarvapindy]

8 minutes ago, pakeer_saab said:

what appears to be a boon now will become a bane in future and vice versa

now apply the above sentence and remember me after 15 yrs that your arrival into US should not have occured, once you age you will start seeing the monotonous life in US and you start missing india

 

uncle vachi already 15 yrs aipoyi untadi anduke ee post esadu

[nosugarplease]

38 minutes ago, pakeer_saab said:

what appears to be a boon now will become a bane in future and vice versa

now apply the above sentence and remember me after 15 yrs that your arrival into US should not have occured, once you age you will start seeing the monotonous life in US and you start missing india

 

Just to clarify - day to day life is good here and no regrets. all happies..
but only when parents health or our future outlook questions come into mind - i feel clueless.

solution vundhi; US janda ethesi India ki povali...but easier said than done.
Naakaithe ee sari India ki pothe double-confirm ayndhi - unless you have wealth and/or power - you cannot live there .

looking back - asalu ravalsindhe kadhu.. ee prapancham chusaka (again my personal perspective) - and stayin in this country so long - cannot go back easily...

US ki vachina ..6 H1B years aypogangaane  return povali..

it all depends on our thinking also.. kontha mandiki asalu endhuku ee topic antaru... ekkadunna happy ga vuntaru.

 

[Thokkalee]

I try to go every year or at least once in two years.. if we do it without postponing and if our parents live for another 10-15 years, we will hardly see them 10-15 times before they leave us.. 

last 2 times nunchi spending time only with parents and friends and close relatives… no trips or packed schedules when we go to India.. 

[AnotherTeluguBidda]

bro ....rajahmundry nijangane varsham lo chala bauntundi.  Memu kooda ilaage vellevallam hyd nundi rjy... return vasthu echevadini. I know people who settled in rjy after retirement. Its all perception....

[sreeeeeeee]

We ourself made our lifes like this.When we are young, we chase life for money as we dont have enough money and our desires are high..we need  big cars,big houses.We have to move US.After we reach old age, the same situtation in US, we cant afford life in US with medical expenses and other expenses.We have to look towards south america.Unfortunately we are caught up in this materialistic life.

[krishnaaa]

26 minutes ago, nosugarplease said:

Just to clarify - day to day life is good here and no regrets. all happies..
but only when parents health or our future outlook questions come into mind - i feel clueless.

solution vundhi; US janda ethesi India ki povali...but easier said than done.
Naakaithe ee sari India ki pothe double-confirm ayndhi - unless you have wealth and/or power - you cannot live there .

looking back - asalu ravalsindhe kadhu.. ee prapancham chusaka (again my personal perspective) - and stayin in this country so long - cannot go back easily...

US ki vachina ..6 H1B years aypogangaane  return povali..

it all depends on our thinking also.. kontha mandiki asalu endhuku ee topic antaru... ekkadunna happy ga vuntaru.

 

I went through the exact same emotions.

Now I am very happy here.

Raising kids in India is equivalent to child abuse......everything is polluted there ....even the people.

You have to have a good family and friends near you ....then life is good in US.

There are lot of people in India....but no use.....even though they want to be positive, that environment makes them negative. They are lonelier even though they are surrounded with people.

Try to exercise daily and try to find yourself......its much easier in US as you will have lot of time and space at your disposal.

Ledhu......adhe kampu loki veltha ante ...your choice.

[sreeeeeeee]

I see many of us running towards west for futuristic life  and caught up in the web of life.On the other side, i see many americans settling in GAO as they can live a life with 5X less than the expenses in US.

[Khaidino6093]

good write up @Tyrannosauraus_Rex