Desire to return to India - faux nostalgia? An analogy.

[Sarvapindy]

your parents our parents you and me..andariki time vastundi paiki poniki..konchem mundu venuka..dont overthink ..njoy life..

[pakeer_saab]

19 hours ago, Telugodura456 said:

As someone who stayed both in uk and us ...i say its far difficult to leave us than uk.

Far more telugu diaspora in us, racism is lesser, earning is more and in general more comfortable.

it is very easy to leave UK now, now that hell hole is going down to dogs

US is like living in any country in EU, if you dont like a state, move into another state

[Galactus]

good thread ba , abuse lekunda , on point discussions , like it

yeah , andariki unde issue ne idhi , how to take care of parents as they grow older ani?

There was some guy who posted in db about how all the cousins built an apartment complex just for all their parents and they all live happily together in India , however it is difficult and not easy to implement for everyone

unless you have another sibling who can care , it becomes a constant source of emotional guilt and pain 

Try to bring your parents here if they can travel , atleast 6 months a year they can spend here with you , no trips necessary , just home lo kids tho spend chesthe chalu , make it comfortable for them if you have money like business class tickets etc , they can sleep and come with out much issue in flights

also , I think if you have siblings here , try to be close to them or in their city , the amount of benefit it will bring to kids will be unparalleled as they will have a strong support system like we did during our younger years and will understand the importance of family

also , oka 1-2 good friends undali , not acquaintances or neighbors , or else you will feel lonely here and feel like missing life in India , its hard to make good friends here as most stay as acquaintances and the relationships feel fake , also with visa issues and job relocations it becomes really difficult to build lasting relationships here , you never know when someone will leave from your circle and it becomes an emotional drain with out you even realizing it

neeku mari antha la miss aithe , try to find companies which have offices in India , be it in Bangalore or Hyderabad and request for temporary relocation for a few months , could be possible in some instances I guess , you can spend some time and be back

also pay wise , if you plan and target senior management/director positions now a days few companies are paying top notch salaries like 80 lakhs - 1c , you can spend a couple of years in India to take care of parents

I'm saying lot of alternatives are there but you are the best judge of the situation and have to take action

[nosugarplease]

On 10/14/2022 at 6:38 AM, Galactus said:

good thread ba , abuse lekunda , on point discussions , like it

yeah , andariki unde issue ne idhi , how to take care of parents as they grow older ani?

There was some guy who posted in db about how all the cousins built an apartment complex just for all their parents and they all live happily together in India , however it is difficult and not easy to implement for everyone

unless you have another sibling who can care , it becomes a constant source of emotional guilt and pain 

Try to bring your parents here if they can travel , atleast 6 months a year they can spend here with you , no trips necessary , just home lo kids tho spend chesthe chalu , make it comfortable for them if you have money like business class tickets etc , they can sleep and come with out much issue in flights

also , I think if you have siblings here , try to be close to them or in their city , the amount of benefit it will bring to kids will be unparalleled as they will have a strong support system like we did during our younger years and will understand the importance of family

also , oka 1-2 good friends undali , not acquaintances or neighbors , or else you will feel lonely here and feel like missing life in India , its hard to make good friends here as most stay as acquaintances and the relationships feel fake , also with visa issues and job relocations it becomes really difficult to build lasting relationships here , you never know when someone will leave from your circle and it becomes an emotional drain with out you even realizing it

neeku mari antha la miss aithe , try to find companies which have offices in India , be it in Bangalore or Hyderabad and request for temporary relocation for a few months , could be possible in some instances I guess , you can spend some time and be back

also pay wise , if you plan and target senior management/director positions now a days few companies are paying top notch salaries like 80 lakhs - 1c , you can spend a couple of years in India to take care of parents

I'm saying lot of alternatives are there but you are the best judge of the situation and have to take action

Very well written. valid points/solution oriented..

Andariki relevant kadhue ee topic but ardham ayye vallaki chaala manchi suggestions and positiviy ichavu brother.

what you posted about - mana sibiings/their presence for our kids AND about real friends (not aquaintacne not neigbor) - is exactly what I was thinking too.

 

[RSUCHOU]

On 10/12/2022 at 11:07 PM, nosugarplease said:

my close friend father passed away recently..uncle very close to me also.
 i was affected and putting myself in his shoes and thinking like this..thats why may be not every one can relate to my posts about parents.

 

One of my friend could not travel to India when his father passed away. Another friend could not come when his dad was in the hospital. By the time he came, his dad almost was breathing his last. I can understand what you are saying. One of the reasons, I would never be able to settle down in the US. But, each person and each family are different. Everyone has their own story on whether to go back or stay. Settling in US is not for me anthe.

[Manishican]

On 10/14/2022 at 6:07 AM, pakeer_saab said:

it is very easy to leave UK now, now that hell hole is going down to dogs

US is like living in any country in EU, if you dont like a state, move into another state

Without free health care, very tough to retire early in US even if you have lot of savings.

[kasi]

On 10/13/2022 at 12:18 PM, andhra_jp said:

I am very happy for returning to india after staying in UK for 12yrs..

It all depends on mindset about what exactly you want in life..

For some india is best and others US might be home away home...

I rejected onsite opportunities after returning to india as unless compelled for any family reasons i dont want to leave India till my death.

Lol..... I heard UK usually kicks people out.....

So we're u kicked out or did u go

 back..... Lol

 

I have friends in my company, that came to US, after getting kick out of UK

Just want to know

 

[kasi]

16 hours ago, RSUCHOU said:

One of my friend could not travel to India when his father passed away. Another friend could not come when his dad was in the hospital. By the time he came, his dad almost was breathing his last. I can understand what you are saying. One of the reasons, I would never be able to settle down in the US. But, each person and each family are different. Everyone has their own story on whether to go back or stay. Settling in US is not for me anthe.

Grammatical mistake.....could not kadu, did not( because they chose not to)

[kasi]

On 10/14/2022 at 9:38 AM, Galactus said:

good thread ba , abuse lekunda , on point discussions , like it

yeah , andariki unde issue ne idhi , how to take care of parents as they grow older ani?

There was some guy who posted in db about how all the cousins built an apartment complex just for all their parents and they all live happily together in India , however it is difficult and not easy to implement for everyone

unless you have another sibling who can care , it becomes a constant source of emotional guilt and pain 

Try to bring your parents here if they can travel , atleast 6 months a year they can spend here with you , no trips necessary , just home lo kids tho spend chesthe chalu , make it comfortable for them if you have money like business class tickets etc , they can sleep and come with out much issue in flights

also , I think if you have siblings here , try to be close to them or in their city , the amount of benefit it will bring to kids will be unparalleled as they will have a strong support system like we did during our younger years and will understand the importance of family

also , oka 1-2 good friends undali , not acquaintances or neighbors , or else you will feel lonely here and feel like missing life in India , its hard to make good friends here as most stay as acquaintances and the relationships feel fake , also with visa issues and job relocations it becomes really difficult to build lasting relationships here , you never know when someone will leave from your circle and it becomes an emotional drain with out you even realizing it

neeku mari antha la miss aithe , try to find companies which have offices in India , be it in Bangalore or Hyderabad and request for temporary relocation for a few months , could be possible in some instances I guess , you can spend some time and be back

also pay wise , if you plan and target senior management/director positions now a days few companies are paying top notch salaries like 80 lakhs - 1c , you can spend a couple of years in India to take care of parents

I'm saying lot of alternatives are there but you are the best judge of the situation and have to take action

Lol..... So what did u think will happen when u attended the visa interview for the first time

It's something lying to visa office and it's something else lying to urself (next level hypocrisy)

 

Sarea youth lo u didn't think thro anuko......after before kids, thoughts lo parents lera???

 

Sarea kids, vallu college ki vellaka povochuga India, apati dagara every nu Po India ki or get them here every 2yrs once.....malla dabbu karchu kada.......manam 1Mill konali kada

 

Enti lavada lasku threadlu......mana parents ni vadildemgam........ period 

 

PS...repu manaki adhea gathi....inka worse, mana ki India cousin/neighbors unaru........manaki Adi kuda ledu 

 

 

 

 

 

[kasi]

14 hours ago, nosugarplease said:

Very well written. valid points/solution oriented..

Andariki relevant kadhue ee topic but ardham ayye vallaki chaala manchi suggestions and positiviy ichavu brother.

what you posted about - mana sibiings/their presence for our kids AND about real friends (not aquaintacne not neigbor) - is exactly what I was thinking too.

 

This is what is called sunakandham...... And running away from reality n living in hypocritic disillusional land

[kasi]

On 10/13/2022 at 1:03 PM, Telugodura456 said:

As someone who stayed both in uk and us ...i say its far difficult to leave us than uk.

Far more telugu diaspora in us, racism is lesser, earning is more and in general more comfortable.

Leaving aa bokka...UK therimidenguthundu.......US unchukoni demguthundhi......Anthea simple

 

[kasi]

On 10/12/2022 at 6:14 PM, Tyrannosauraus_Rex said:

When I was young - for every summer vacation we used to go to Rajahmundry, Kakinada and other small villages and towns in Andhra Pradesh. Although I am from Hyderabad - most of my relatives were/are from Andhra.

One of the relatives I loved really loved - was my Mavayya - my mother's younger brother. 

My affection for my uncle was so strong that I used to dream about the vacation almost a month in advance. He was a strongly built man, kind, showered immense love on our family and essentially I looked up to him.

It was one of those summer vacations when I was in Rajahmundry -and one evening my uncle and I went to a vegetable market. It rained pretty heavily earlier and we stepped out once the rains relented.

Ala nadusthu nenu  -  "Mavayya, varsham padinappudu Rajahmundry inka entha andamga undo kada" - 

To this my uncle's response was brutally sarcastic and I still remember it to this day.

He said "Orai, neeku naa meeda unna abhimaanamtho -naaku relatedga unna anni vishayaalu neeku andamga anipisthunnayi. 

"Neekemo varshamlo Rajahmundry andamga kanipisthundi - kaani naakemo road meda burada, domalu, open drainage meeda pandulu, nuvvu vesukunna hawai chappals valla nuvvu nadusthunnapudu aa chappals lonchi burada ni venkala shirt meeda padadam, nee aa burada shirt ni uthakaleka attayya padey kastaalu,  kaaseptalo current pothey vacchey ikkatlu - ivvani kanipisthunnai.

"Nuvveymo current pothey ee kovvathula veluthurulo mee illu entha bavundi mavayya antaavu - nenemo nee gurinchi mosquito net ready chesthuntey".

"Crux of the matter enti antey - neeku ivvani andamga, teeyaga anipisthayi endukantey - subconsciously you know in the heart of your hearts that you are only going to stay here for a week or two- you are actually not going to experience or live here in Rajahmundry on a permanent basis. So, intha short stay lo nee emotions anni baaga condense ayipoyi anni adbhuthamga, anni andamga anipisthayi. Adey nuvvu Hyderabad vadilesi puurthi ga Rajahmundry shift aithey nee paata verey laaga untundi.  Aina neeku ivvani ippudu artham kaavu - you will remember this conversation in the future.

 

My uncle died a few years later after that conversation and I was devastated. Kaani naaku chaala years taruvatha artham ayyindi what he actually meant ani.

 

Kontha mandi friends -  India vellinappudu for a few weeks - prathidi chaala nostalgic ga, andamga anipisthundi but maybe because they know they are not actually going to stay there permanently. They are secure in the knowledge that they will back in the US after a few weeks/months.

Asalu nijam ga antha India antey istam untey - asalu India vadilivelley vaallamey kadu kada. I still remember my Dad's tears at the airport when I first left India.

I am not saying that the nostalgic feeling we get is not genuine but I am convinced that some people get that strong feeling because they know they are actually not going to stay in India. I mean imagine- for example -  their true feelings while they are lamenting/longing about India - they got news that they got deported or their GC got canceled. Appudu nostalgia antha pooyi, India lo undey corruption, police brutality, politics, relatives tho lolli - ivvani gurthu vasthayi - if you were to stay back in India permanently.

So all those people who are in the US - count your lucky stars - you are in a much better country than India. And the fact that you chose to leave India is evidence of it.

Either way it was my uncle's death anniversary recently and I remembered that conversation in Rajahmundry all those years ago - just wanted to share it with you guys.

 

 

 

Demga......nuvu mee 22yrs unav....aa burada!! Aa power cut....aa mosquitos nuvu epuudu chudaleda???

Endhi kaka....why f are u lying to urself??

 

Endhi kada intha delusional lands lo unara??? 

[Hector8]

On 10/12/2022 at 10:35 PM, Thokkalee said:

I try to go every year or at least once in two years.. if we do it without postponing and if our parents live for another 10-15 years, we will hardly see them 10-15 times before they leave us.. 

last 2 times nunchi spending time only with parents and friends and close relatives… no trips or packed schedules when we go to India.. 

never thought like this...  thanks for this post 

okkasari grandparents, close relatives gurthocharu.... 

[andhra_jp]

9 hours ago, kasi said:

Lol..... I heard UK usually kicks people out.....

So we're u kicked out or did u go

 back..... Lol

 

I have friends in my company, that came to US, after getting kick out of UK

Just want to know

 

 

I came back myself Bro as kids are growing and its easy for children to adjust to india and indian schools in primary school age rather than coming to india at later stages.

I have many old collegues who are happily settled in UK

[kasi]

1 hour ago, andhra_jp said:

 

I came back myself Bro as kids are growing and its easy for children to adjust to india and indian schools in primary school age rather than coming to india at later stages.

I have many old collegues who are happily settled in UK