Parents - how to handle

[quest]

 

6 minutes ago, Galactus said:

Indian parents never cut the cord bro, even if you are 50 they expect you to do everything as per their wish irrespective of whether that hurts your feelings or not, as they age it  becomes even more evident.

 You are being a good son by returning back to India and they are being unreasonable. 

 You have to cut the cord and live your life, your parents can’t expect to live your life too, they got theirs and are being greedy by living though you. Stop it.

 Also support your wife, as her situation may even be worse than you, she lost all her freedom and now have to bear sarcastic comments everyday on everything, if things go like this, Pelli petakulu avutundi due to overindulgence of parents, take care.

vaammo

[johnydanylee]

Move to hyderabad asap

[LakshmiParvathii]

3 hours ago, quest said:

chinnappatinundi amma ante chala istam, naaku papa puttakamundu varaku undoubtedly ammantene chala chala istam.. papa puttaka, iddaru first anelaa undi..
nanna ante gouravam tappa vipareetamaina istam yemi ledu...

Chala years america lo undi, recent ga India ki vachanu, parents pedda vallu avutunnaru, america lo forever undalenemo ani chala years nundi plan chesi final ga vachaanu

naa personal mentality avtali vallani artham chesukovatam, valla kosam nenu adjust avvatam ilaa untundi general ga... so, India ki vachinappudalla, amma nanna ista prakasaram naduchukune vaanni, yevaina suggestions unte cheppevanni, vallu kaadu koodadu ante vallista prakarame adjust ayyevaanni.

memu oka manchi town lo untaam, direct america to hyd kaakunda oka 1 year ayina intlo undamani parents annaru, nenu kooda manchi idea ani alaane untunnam.

ippudu andaram kalisi okechota untunnam kadaa, abhipraya bedhalu vastunnayi. nenu yedaina chepte innallu maa maata vinnadu, ippudu vinatledu ani basha padutunnaru.. nenu adjust avudaam ante jeevitaantam adjust avutooone undaalemo ani bayam, konni konni pillala (naa kids) matters lo adjust avvalekunna..

andarilaagane maa amma the best ani anukunna.. she is smart, very intelligent, family kosam yento sacrifice chesindi. kaani amma lo kooda swardham (naa kutumbam ye baagundaali), dabbulekkuva karchu pettakoodadu, kodali ni kooturilaa kaakundaa different ga choodatam (not raachi rampaalu pettadam) ilaantivi tattukolekunna

nanna age perigi, konchem chadastam vachi, chinna chinna paruvu poye panulu chestunnaru, avi ammaki kooda nachatledu.

amma naaku financial advise lu istundi, alaa kaadu amma, naaku telusu yem cheyyalo ante, badha padutundi.

iddariki health kooda anthanthamaatrame, memu intlo undatam tho inkaa burden yekkuvayyindi, panulu avi chesukolekundaa unnam andaram kalisi because of kids...

manaki sthomata undi full time driver and extended hours pani manishini pettukundaam ante antha dabbulu kallaku kanapatledaa ani malli koppadataaru..

pillala chaduvulu, birthday lu, memu vesukune battalu, nagalu anni vallaki nachinatle jaragali ani adamant ga untunnaru. at least memu yedaina cheppina, meekem telusu ani consider cheyyatleru..

oka flow lo kakundaa bits and pieces lo raastunnaduku sorry, naa thoughts vache daanni batti raastunna...

anadaram kalisi hyd lo undaam anna, maaku kudaradu, maaku ikkada pellillu, events, chaavulu untaay annaru.. amma kalla noppulatho yekkadiki velladu, kaani nanna kalla noppulu unna, annitiki vellalanukuntaadu.. sare konni years vallu oorlone untaam ani karaakhandigaa cheppesaaru

Next year hyd vellandi, pillalni baga chadivinchukondi annaru.. ee ooka year undamannaru so that society lo kodalu naalugu rojulu kooda lekundaa vellipoindi ani anukokundaa

pillalaki phone ivvoddu ante istaaru. pillalaki yevaina kathalu cheppandi ante chepparu.. yeppudu samajam, valla godava, vella godava, aa ilaa chinna chinna issues

nenu maa thata dagagrinundi yento manchi nerchukunna, naa pillalu kooda alaa undaali ani korukunna, kodaratledu

only complaints raasaanu, chala manchi vishayalu kooda unnay.. iddariki naa kids ante istam, kid ki yemaina ayite talladillipotaaaru.. kodalu athagaaritlo dieting cheyyatam impossible but maa vallu aa freedom icharu.. maa andari kante munde tintundi, tanu dieting kabatti, memu migilina rice tintaam. andarilo maa pillalu, manavadu, manavaraalu great ga undaali anukuntaaru... etc ilaa yenno good things.

final ga naa badha yentante... nenu anukunnadaanikante maa parents kooda andari parents laagane swardham, pisinaritanam, chadastam etc
prati kshnam nannu inkaa chinna pilladilaa choostoo, naa decisions ki value ivvakapovadam nachatledu, pillalaki tablets iche vishayam lo kooda naa mata negganivvatledu... nenu sasemiraa tablets veyyanu ante rojanta gonagatam.. etc

ee 1 year kallumoosukuni koorchotamaa, 2-3 months lo hyd shift avvatamaa ani oka alochana

inkaa pedda samasya yentane, raanu raanu ee behaviour ni yelaa handle cheyyatam..

---- meelo yevarina face chesi, vallanu hurt cheyyakunda yedaina solution alochinchi implement chesi unte, please cheppagalaru/

@ANNA_PLEASE_PETTU nuvenna 

[phatposts]

nee aatma ghosha naaku ardham avtondi. strict formula or SOP emi undadu. 

just nee write up ki naa feelings

1. konni chotla nuvvu wife vs amma teesukochav - adi chesi saavaku. iddaru kalisi ninnu mixey lo vesestaru. NEVER take sides. they allow my wife to do dieting, amma cheppindi wife pettindi pilla kakkindi - especially ilantivi nuvvu mindset maarchuko. leka pothe nidra pattanivvaru. above example lo "allowing wife to diet" will result in a trigger situation for your wife to retaliate against you. 

2. pick the battles antaru kada - deniki react avvali deniki react avvakoodado figure it out. enta fast gaa telusukunte anta better. 

3. epppudaina you disagree with mom and wife also does, you try to be the one that voices to your mom than her. endukante soon you will be moving out. very long run lo aithe they need to get together. wife ki acknowledge - i dont agree with her, but cant say every disagreement. lets handle it ani. i handled several things but did not "say" that to wife and she she thought i was supporting mom despite me not saying anything to anyone. 

overall gaa needi maree bad emi kaadu - kaneesam mee wife, parents, kids kalisi 1 year untunnaru. ippati jamana lo adi lottery eee. dont let this time dictate the next 10-20 years. 

mee wife ki ok aithe pillalni peddollakichi (your parnets or her parents) meeru oka 2-3 days trip veyyandi. future lo avanni luxuries avtayi

[Ara_Tenkai]

1 hour ago, quest said:

35
 

but those are major things for mom and wife.. anni vodili 10gi peace kosam yoga cheddam anukuni sadhguru inner engineering package konna

atha kodalu fighting is common... as per your plan stay in hyd and visit your parents frequently... don't try to live all together unless they need you physically.

[Konebhar6]

3 hours ago, quest said:

chinnappatinundi amma ante chala istam, naaku papa puttakamundu varaku undoubtedly ammantene chala chala istam.. papa puttaka, iddaru first anelaa undi..
nanna ante gouravam tappa vipareetamaina istam yemi ledu...

Chala years america lo undi, recent ga India ki vachanu, parents pedda vallu avutunnaru, america lo forever undalenemo ani chala years nundi plan chesi final ga vachaanu

naa personal mentality avtali vallani artham chesukovatam, valla kosam nenu adjust avvatam ilaa untundi general ga... so, India ki vachinappudalla, amma nanna ista prakasaram naduchukune vaanni, yevaina suggestions unte cheppevanni, vallu kaadu koodadu ante vallista prakarame adjust ayyevaanni.

memu oka manchi town lo untaam, direct america to hyd kaakunda oka 1 year ayina intlo undamani parents annaru, nenu kooda manchi idea ani alaane untunnam.

ippudu andaram kalisi okechota untunnam kadaa, abhipraya bedhalu vastunnayi. nenu yedaina chepte innallu maa maata vinnadu, ippudu vinatledu ani basha padutunnaru.. nenu adjust avudaam ante jeevitaantam adjust avutooone undaalemo ani bayam, konni konni pillala (naa kids) matters lo adjust avvalekunna..

andarilaagane maa amma the best ani anukunna.. she is smart, very intelligent, family kosam yento sacrifice chesindi. kaani amma lo kooda swardham (naa kutumbam ye baagundaali), dabbulekkuva karchu pettakoodadu, kodali ni kooturilaa kaakundaa different ga choodatam (not raachi rampaalu pettadam) ilaantivi tattukolekunna

nanna age perigi, konchem chadastam vachi, chinna chinna paruvu poye panulu chestunnaru, avi ammaki kooda nachatledu.

amma naaku financial advise lu istundi, alaa kaadu amma, naaku telusu yem cheyyalo ante, badha padutundi.

iddariki health kooda anthanthamaatrame, memu intlo undatam tho inkaa burden yekkuvayyindi, panulu avi chesukolekundaa unnam andaram kalisi because of kids...

manaki sthomata undi full time driver and extended hours pani manishini pettukundaam ante antha dabbulu kallaku kanapatledaa ani malli koppadataaru..

pillala chaduvulu, birthday lu, memu vesukune battalu, nagalu anni vallaki nachinatle jaragali ani adamant ga untunnaru. at least memu yedaina cheppina, meekem telusu ani consider cheyyatleru..

oka flow lo kakundaa bits and pieces lo raastunnaduku sorry, naa thoughts vache daanni batti raastunna...

anadaram kalisi hyd lo undaam anna, maaku kudaradu, maaku ikkada pellillu, events, chaavulu untaay annaru.. amma kalla noppulatho yekkadiki velladu, kaani nanna kalla noppulu unna, annitiki vellalanukuntaadu.. sare konni years vallu oorlone untaam ani karaakhandigaa cheppesaaru

Next year hyd vellandi, pillalni baga chadivinchukondi annaru.. ee ooka year undamannaru so that society lo kodalu naalugu rojulu kooda lekundaa vellipoindi ani anukokundaa

pillalaki phone ivvoddu ante istaaru. pillalaki yevaina kathalu cheppandi ante chepparu.. yeppudu samajam, valla godava, vella godava, aa ilaa chinna chinna issues

nenu maa thata dagagrinundi yento manchi nerchukunna, naa pillalu kooda alaa undaali ani korukunna, kodaratledu

only complaints raasaanu, chala manchi vishayalu kooda unnay.. iddariki naa kids ante istam, kid ki yemaina ayite talladillipotaaaru.. kodalu athagaaritlo dieting cheyyatam impossible but maa vallu aa freedom icharu.. maa andari kante munde tintundi, tanu dieting kabatti, memu migilina rice tintaam. andarilo maa pillalu, manavadu, manavaraalu great ga undaali anukuntaaru... etc ilaa yenno good things.

final ga naa badha yentante... nenu anukunnadaanikante maa parents kooda andari parents laagane swardham, pisinaritanam, chadastam etc
prati kshnam nannu inkaa chinna pilladilaa choostoo, naa decisions ki value ivvakapovadam nachatledu, pillalaki tablets iche vishayam lo kooda naa mata negganivvatledu... nenu sasemiraa tablets veyyanu ante rojanta gonagatam.. etc

ee 1 year kallumoosukuni koorchotamaa, 2-3 months lo hyd shift avvatamaa ani oka alochana

inkaa pedda samasya yentane, raanu raanu ee behaviour ni yelaa handle cheyyatam..

---- meelo yevarina face chesi, vallanu hurt cheyyakunda yedaina solution alochinchi implement chesi unte, please cheppagalaru/

• Its not them who changed. Its YOU. We have to change as per the country we are in, society around us and financial status. Changes will naturally occur. and Its not BAD. Understand they are stuck in the same old world and are comfortable only in their lifestyle. 
• Regarding driver and other expenses, they do feel that way as they never had. Its OK. When they stay with you (get them to hyd) and see your lifestyle, they will understand why you need these. Tell them in a nice way why you need these and these are not considered luxuries now.
• For a guy's mom, no matter how good DIL is, she is still distant. Accept the fact and move on. 
• Parents become stubborn when they get old. Ignore what they say and do what you need to do. Its OK if they feel bad. They will understand coz they are parents.
• Premalu eppudaina dooram gane untee baguntai. Move to Hyd, do what you need to do and visit parents often. Convince them to get to hyd and stay every now and then for short periods.

Vallu feel avtharu, vellu feel avtharu anukunte chivariki nuvvu feel avthavu. evaro okallu feel avvadam guarantee. Adi evaro nuvvu decide chesko. As the man of the house, you need to strike that balance. Following last point above will resolve a lot of your issues.  

 

[quest]

23 minutes ago, phatposts said:

nee aatma ghosha naaku ardham avtondi. strict formula or SOP emi undadu. 

just nee write up ki naa feelings

1. konni chotla nuvvu wife vs amma teesukochav - adi chesi saavaku. iddaru kalisi ninnu mixey lo vesestaru. NEVER take sides. they allow my wife to do dieting, amma cheppindi wife pettindi pilla kakkindi - especially ilantivi nuvvu mindset maarchuko. leka pothe nidra pattanivvaru. above example lo "allowing wife to diet" will result in a trigger situation for your wife to retaliate against you. 

2. pick the battles antaru kada - deniki react avvali deniki react avvakoodado figure it out. enta fast gaa telusukunte anta better. 

3. epppudaina you disagree with mom and wife also does, you try to be the one that voices to your mom than her. endukante soon you will be moving out. very long run lo aithe they need to get together. wife ki acknowledge - i dont agree with her, but cant say every disagreement. lets handle it ani. i handled several things but did not "say" that to wife and she she thought i was supporting mom despite me not saying anything to anyone. 

overall gaa needi maree bad emi kaadu - kaneesam mee wife, parents, kids kalisi 1 year untunnaru. ippati jamana lo adi lottery eee. dont let this time dictate the next 10-20 years. 

mee wife ki ok aithe pillalni peddollakichi (your parnets or her parents) meeru oka 2-3 days trip veyyandi. future lo avanni luxuries avtayi

thanks bro.
yevariki cheppukovaalo teliyaka oka kotta id create chesukuni, oka 1 week tarwata approval vachaka post chesaa...

[TuesdayStories]

U rating by db mods censor story 😭😭

[Konebhar6]

1 hour ago, quest said:

detailed response ichinanduku thanks bro...
 

just now inko godava... pillaki health baaledu certain foods pettoddu ani amma cheppindi, wife vaddanna food ye pettindi.. pilla vomited, amma annam kooda tinakundaa nenu cheppina maatla vinatledu ani badha padutundi.. ee vishayam complete ga wife de tappu... adigite pilla tinanu anindi, option leka pettanu anindi... in this case, I trust amma more than wifey./. one fine day yetaina 10geddam annanta kopam vastundi

Enti inta chinna danikee. Maree sensitive undakudadu bhayya. In this case, I would let them fight. You are making it worse by picking sides. 

If are put on spot and asked your opinion, simply say "Induloo mata vinakapovadam emundi. Pillala gurunchi telsinde kada amma, vallu annam tinakapothe, guilty ness tho ichuntadi. Ippudu telisindi kada. Next time gettinga untundi le pillalatho

[quest]

9 minutes ago, Konebhar6 said:

• Its not them who changed. Its YOU. We have to change as per the country we are in, society around us and financial status. Changes will naturally occur. and Its not BAD. Understand they are stuck in the same old world and are comfortable only in their lifestyle. 
• Regarding driver and other expenses, they do feel that way as they never had. Its OK. When they stay with you (get them to hyd) and see your lifestyle, they will understand why you need these. Tell them in a nice way why you need these and these are not considered luxuries now.
• For a guy's mom, no matter how good DIL is, she is still distant. Accept the fact and move on. 
• Parents become stubborn when they get old. Ignore what they say and do what you need to do. Its OK if they feel bad. They will understand coz they are parents.
• Premalu eppudaina dooram gane untee baguntai. Move to Hyd, do what you need to do and visit parents often. Convince them to get to hyd and stay every now and then for short periods.

Vallu feel avtharu, vellu feel avtharu anukunte chivariki nuvvu feel avthavu. evaro okallu feel avvadam guarantee. Adi evaro nuvvu decide chesko. As the man of the house, you need to strike that balance. Following last point above will resolve a lot of your issues.  

 

thanks bro

[Thokkalee]

I think you have a good wife.. ilanti over involving in laws ni handle cheyadam chala kastam.. 

I trained my wife to treat my parents like our kids.. like handling tantrums, stubbornness, not listening, etc etc… it was hard for her initially… now she got used to it…

surprisingly, whatever techniques we use on kids mostly work on parents too 😄

[Paamu]

millennials bathuku inthe. Parents vallu chepinde cheyyali antaru..... mana kids  mana maata vintaru ani expect kooda cheyyalem..... they jump after college. 

[quest]

18 hours ago, Konebhar6 said:

Enti inta chinna danikee. Maree sensitive undakudadu bhayya. In this case, I would let them fight. You are making it worse by picking sides. 

If are put on spot and asked your opinion, simply say "Induloo mata vinakapovadam emundi. Pillala gurunchi telsinde kada amma, vallu annam tinakapothe, guilty ness tho ichuntadi. Ippudu telisindi kada. Next time gettinga untundi le pillalatho

baaga experienced unnattunnaru bro.. mee age? number of kids? 

[quest]

18 hours ago, Thokkalee said:

I think you have a good wife.. ilanti over involving in laws ni handle cheyadam chala kastam.. 

I trained my wife to treat my parents like our kids.. like handling tantrums, stubbornness, not listening, etc etc… it was hard for her initially… now she got used to it…

surprisingly, whatever techniques we use on kids mostly work on parents too 😄

antha chanuvu iste wife nettina yekki koorchuntaadi bhayyo.. adoka ramayanam...

okkosaari anni vodili rgv gaadi laaga vellipovaali anipistundi

[Thokkalee]

5 minutes ago, quest said:

antha chanuvu iste wife nettina yekki koorchuntaadi bhayyo.. adoka ramayanam...

okkosaari anni vodili rgv gaadi laaga vellipovaali anipistundi

What if she says she don’t want to meet them or see them anymore? There are many guys who don’t meet their parents anymore as they don’t get along with the wife.. na dosth okadu 10 years nunchi India poledu to avoid meeting his parents.. parents and wife didn’t talk for nearly 10 years now..